How to get the best lap dance

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Oct 2009
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How to get the best lap dance
October 22, 2009
When you want a good lap dance and don't have the time or money to try out several girls, then follow these simple steps.  If upon entering a club, you are greeted by a so-so girl, but not the hot one you wanted, politely decline a dance for now and say you want to watch for a while.  This buys your time to check out the girls.  Next, watch closely how each girl dances on stage for a dollar.  This gives you a great idea of what they will do in private.  If she stands 3 feet away the whole time, avoid her in private.  If she puts her hot breasts on your face the whole time, then go for her in private if thats what you like.  Girls that grind on stage, grind in private.  So now that you have stage tipped and found a good dancer, simply tell her to meet up with you after she finishes dancing.  Getting a hot lap dance favors the bold customer.  If you don't ask her to come over and she has a lot of attention from other guys, you probably won't see her anytime soon.  Enjoy the dances!
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A good article with some really good points.  The dancer who is stand-offish during the stage tip is not going to amount to anything.  On the other hand, if she starts feeling Mr Happy (like my current fav) be sure and tip her big and do everything you can to get her to your table.
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GOOD SUGGESTIONS
Nov 2008
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Great points!  I've used this technique many times, and the majority of the time i've gotten good to great results.  But don't stop there, many clubs have a lap dance area that is open to everyone in the room, little to no privacy.  You all know the basic dance routine, give a lapper facing you, at some point the dancer turns around and continues the dance with her back to you.  I've see many dancers, including the one dancing for me, just looking around, looking at other dancers, uninterested in there own customers.  I'll sometimes do the same, start looking around, seeing which dancers are giving the best dances and which one's seem to be going through the motions.  Take every opportunity to narrow your search down.
Sep 2009
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Your ideas are good, but to be completely honest, I've found the ones who give the best "private" dances are the ones who make lots of eye contact with you while they're on stage and you're 'at the rail'. If she'll linger in front of you and more-or-less teases you, that usually means that the performance 'in back' will go up another notch. As with anything, though, YMMV, so check with dealership on freight, tax, license........
Jan 2008
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I agree with a lot of the original poster's thoughts.  Especially about refusing a girl that hits you up a minute after you arrive.  First off, my eyes need time to adjust to the darkened environment in most clubs, especially during a daytime visit.  The dancer that solicits you when you walk in is probably desperate to make a sale.  Ask yourself why.   She may not give the kind of dance that keeps the customers buying. 

I also agree that the dancers that are shy on stage are not likely to become high-mileage in the private dance area.  Unfortunately, I don't think the opposite is necessarily true.  Dancers that give a lot of contact from the stage are not guaranteed to give any more than that during a lap dance.

But one piece of advice that I can add is to not overlook the girls that are less than a 9-10 in looks.  The best looking girls seem to get money thrown at them, but the 6-7-8's tend to work harder for it.   Bitterdbag gave great advice in his post:  If you can observe the dancers in action doing a private dance, then that intelligence is better than anything you can presume from the stage or the main floor.

I once had a short asian girl solicit me for a dance while I was looking for my at-the-time favorite, a tall, thin Russian.  The asian was not exactly my type.  But after I told her I was looking for the Russian, she offered to find her.  She went away, looking, and came back to  tell me the Russian was not in.  To thank her for her time, I took a dance from her.   And another.  And another.   A new favorite was born.   I've probably danced with her around 15-20 times since then.  Last time, she told me "Bring a condom next time.  I will fuck you."    My jaw hit the floor.   Anyhow, I'm not sure I'll do that, but the idea here is that you never know what may happen based on your first impressions.
Aug 2003
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I'll ask guys at the club if a dancer I like give a good dance.    Most guys will let you know if it is good or a waste of time and money.
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the girls who stick their crotch in your face when you are tipping at the stage tend to give the best VIP
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In my experience, if she hands you a condom when shaking your hand the mileage will be pretty good
Sep 2005
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OP's points reinforce the basic idea that stage shows are an "interview session" for laps/VIP's. By extension, basic tier dances are interview sessions for VIP upgrade. One basic caveat: Things don't get (much) better in VIP. If she's NFZ in regular dances, so it will go in VIP. Likewise, a "pre-dance" hustle can be thought of as an interview session. Like 3-Legger, I generally like to settle in for a few minutes prior to getting dances. For the hustlers, I say "I'm not getting any dances now, here's a dollar for your attention". How they respond to that will help determine if they get future attention from me. The ones who just grab the dollar flunk the test. One dancer who took my hand holding the bill, and guided it "down south" got some multiple dances on the spot.
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I've started to develop a rule that if she doesn't sit on your lap while hustling you for a lap dance, she immediately goes to the bottom of the list.   I'm finding it harder and harder to find fault with this rule.  Every time I break it and go with the girl who just runs her hands through my hair and touches me on the shoulder simply because she is outstanding looking, I end up disappointed..... 

If she sits on your lap and nuzzles, strokes, etc.  It's only going to be better once you get to the LD.
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I've done OTC once with my ATF in the past. I don't visit her club in Baltimore (about 60-90 min away) nearly as often as I used to. Generally they've been 4-5 month intervals but we text each other fairly regularly. Finally I had a break and a chance to go up and see her. We usually have it planned out. Our usual MO is that I bring dinner into the club (which doesn't serve food) for her and me, we spend some quality time together nuzzling at one of the tables or at the bar, and then private rooms for 30 min and a few laps for much of the rest of the evening.

Last week, ATF wanted a change of pace. She wanted to have dinner with me before going into the club. We did, at a nice steak restaurant (meeting me at my hotel in a low-key outfit, a long summer dress and flip flops). After, I dropped her off at the club, and then came by later. I did 30 min with her in a private room for the usual fee, we hung out till closing. No overnight was going to happen that night, so no nookie. But ATF asked to meet me for breakfast the next morning out closer to where she lived. We did so (she came in a shorter dress, lower cut, still in flats), and then we spent some time together afterward riding around in my convertible.

This is less your usual OTC story than what essentially amounted to a back-to-back dinner date and then a breakfast date with a very pretty woman (divorced MILF), in which I wound up learning a lot more about my ATF than I expected. I have to admit that in the back of my mind I knew this would eventually happen, given we've known each other for well over two years. I thought I was going to share a little bit of my heritage and my profession with her just to make things interesting and her curious about me. But what happened was suddenly a torrent of information from her. Among those things I learned were her name (showing me her profile as a driver for one of those popular ridesharing services), her family background, what she did before stripping, her vacation with her kids, lots of photos with well-known people, and advice on a career change that would allow her to live a nice normal attractive lifestyle. Just from time spent with my ATF in the past, she tends to avoid too much drinking in the club, and apparently seems to be drug-free (no tattoos, no smoking, generally clearheaded, friendly to waitstaff in restaurants, unfailingly polite, and tends to disdain the cokeheads who danced at or managed her former club).

So part of the deal with engaging a stripper off the stage is always the fantasy - even if it's pure acting, if she's good she makes both Dr. Libido / L'il Roadworrier / whatever-you-wanna-call-it and yourself feel like the center of the sex universe, for however long you have on the sofa or in the VIP room. If you build a rapport she can offer a decent GFE when not "on the clock" (although her current club has dancer drinks which provide a revenue stream on the backs of customers with a small 40% cut for the dancer). And then maybe OTC and horizontal bop happens.

But what happened last week suddenly jolted me, though it took some time to sink in. I suddenly do not think of her as a stripper anymore. I know her name, what her family looks like, her car, what she does when not in the club, and most of all, I'm now getting accustomed to seeing her in something other than quick-to-remove lingerie and 5" platform heels. I have enough info about her that I can google her, access her on LinkedIn, and essentially turn into a Grade A stalker. It looks like we will be doing this again next month, and it looks like we have another restaurant and plans to go to a park the next day already made. My motto of my SC life has always been to let fantasy get in the way of reality. Now for the first time, it's the other way.

Yet even with this sudden dose of "real", there was a clear pattern to her sharing so much with me. It seemed like one part of it was for me to know who she was before she began stripping, and the other part of it was apparently to know she was looking for a life after stripping. Knowing I am married, knowing she's a mom, and sensing she's not much for hotel tricks, it became clear she's looking for some sugar-daddy action, at the very least a little low-key sugar-daddy advice, for the cost of meals and of course time in the club. She's not asked me for a retainer yet, so it's just been a matter so far of providing her with company, food and a little evening income at the club in exchange for some sexy fun.

While there's only so much advice one (even if he is 25 years older) can give someone who was a married stay-at-home mom for a few years and doesn't have a broad work background beyond the SC, it is clear she is an engaging communicator, and seems to be good about taking care of herself. If anyone could probably "move on" into real life. it's her.

The alpha-dog part of me wants to stick to the sex part and know her by her stage name. The beta part of me wants to move this along and see where it goes. I think the alpha-dog route is the safer way to go, and has been my road taken in the past. But when you know a gal for long enough, even in an SC, if they actually like you, at some point it seems like things will take a turn into the friend/sugar-daddy zone. Something I am clearly not prepared for.
Jul 2014
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This was my second foray into Tijuana. The first was in November 2014 when I crossed the border and hit Hong Kong three days out of the four that I was in San Diego. I learned a lot back then (with advice from TUSCL contributors), and I'm still learning. There have been other, very helpful posts on TUSCL, and my intent with this long-ass article is to add details that I think would also prove helpful to anyone who has not yet made the journey and is contemplating it. And yeah, ya should. The place is just unreal.

Planning for this trip started a few months ago. I had to be in Orange County for a conference, so my flight to California from the East Coast was covered by my employer. I went out a few days early, rented a car, and drove the 90 minutes south to the border.

The first thing I will tell you is that instead of staying in San Diego (as I did for visiting family during the last trip), I booked a room in San Ysidro, California, the town where the border crossing is. TUSCL trolls, don't give me any shit for not actually staying in TJ. For a number of reasons, staying in the U.S. allows me to cover my ass and gives me a little plausible deniability with the wife back home. (Just trying to avoid the inevitable "Honey, when you called me three of the nights you were gone, how come there are roaming charges from Mexico on our cell phone bill?") As I said, don't give me any shit! A guy does what he has to do to preserve domestic tranquility.

BORDER CROSSING INTO MEXICO
There are things about the border crossing that have changed since I was here in 2014, and things will continue to change. The old crossing still works pretty much the same way as before, and you can travel south into Mexico and north into the U.S. there. There is a brand new crossing about a mile to the west, but it's my understanding that for *now* you can only cross there from Mexico into the U.S. I read that that will change sometime soon, and eventually the old crossing will be torn down.

Not sure about parking at the new crossing; I think it might be $8.00 during the week and $25.00 on the weekend. I stuck with the old crossing and parked in the lot next to and behind the Jack-in-the-Box. The pay lot is open 24 hours, $8.00 for 8 hours, cash only. If you return even one minute after your 8 hours are up, you will pay another $8.00, so keep that in mind. It's a short walk from there to the border crossing – just follow the crowd.

I had heard they were stamping passports going into Mexico now, and to avoid that (plausible deniability and all) – and based on advice here on TUSCL – I had gotten a Global Entry pass several months ago. It also allows you to skip the long lines coming back and provides automatic TSA Pre-Check whenever you fly. Worked like a charm coming back. Going into Mexico the first two days, I was not stopped by anyone nor required to show anything. HOWEVER, on the third day going into Mexico, I was asked by the Mexican Border Patrol agent to show my passport – which I did not have with me. I showed him my Global Entry card, which he said is only good for getting back into the U.S. He said, "You have to have a passport." WTF – no one said a word to me the prior two days. After a brief moment of unease on my part, he let me in and said, "Next time, bring your passport." Phew! Still not sure about the stamping of passports. Note that if you bring anything into Mexico with you (I carried a small messenger bag), they run it through a scanner like at an airport, but getting in is really easy.

The rest of the route to HK has been well documented on TUSCL. Walk along with the crowd for a few minutes, grab a Yellow Cab, and say, "Hong Kong, cinco, si?" (they always said yes to me). Incidentally, Tijuana taxis are a trip in and of themselves, as the drivers race to get you to your destination, and whatever rules of the road they have there seem more like mere suggestions. After five minutes, $5.00 (US) and a dollar tip, you're there. The Yellow Cabs have to stop in front of Adelita Bar a couple of doors down from HK; there is another cab company that gets to park in front of HK. No biggie. Just walk back to HK.

MONEY
All transactions can be made in US dollars. Others here have recommended changing to pesos to get a better deal (depending on the prevailing exchange rate), but I did not bother with that. Not saying you shouldn't use pesos – just saying you don't have to. And you all know you never use a credit card in a strip club, right?

HOTEL CASCADAS
Before I left I had PM'ed a fellow TUSCL contributor about advice on a few things, and he suggested that even though I was staying overnight in San Ysidro I might want to book a room at Hotel Cascadas, which occupies about six floors above Hong Kong. He pointed out that the rooms are really cheap if you spring for a VIP card at HK (more on that in a moment), and if you plan take girls upstairs several times over two or three days (or multiple times each day/night, like I did), the card pretty quickly pays for itself. In addition, there's no knock at the door when your 30 minutes are up.

I made a reservation the week before for three nights via the hotel's website (which is reachable from the HK website). They don't require a credit card number for the reservation, but they do ask for an email address to send you a confirmation. I registered using a fake name (but a real email address) based on TUSCL advice about using a fake name when you get the VIP card. I used the same alias for both the hotel reservation and the card. Believe me, nobody cared or asked.

When you make the reservation online, the website will tell you what your total will be, based on the rack rate of $55 a night for a standard room Sunday-Thursday, $70 Friday and Saturday – and says that discounts will be applied upon check-in. When you arrive, first go to HK to get your VIP card and then check into the hotel next door (literally two steps from the HK entrance). I was so fortunate that my TJ trip included a Monday and a Tuesday, since the VIP discount on those two days is a whopping 80%, bringing the cost of the room down to $11 a night. When you consider that if you don’t have your own room and you want to take a girl upstairs, it will cost you $17 per half hour (and double that if you take two girls at a time, which I did on my last visit). The discount on other nights is 20%, bringing the cost down to $44 – which is still not too bad, especially if you plan to use the room for multiple visits. All transactions are done in cash, with US dollars or, if you prefer, pesos.

The standard room has a sink, bed, enclosed toilet, separate shower, and decent variable "mood" lighting. Perfect, really. (Deluxe rooms are also available at a higher rate.) I paid a $20 fully-refundable deposit for a remote control for the AC. There was also a TV, but I did not use it. Over three days, I don't think they serviced the room in any way, but they did promptly honor my request for clean towels on day three.

THE VIP CARD
You can look on the HK website for a list of the perks you get when you buy a VIP card. I didn't avail myself of all that much (didn't use the free limo to or from the border, no fancy bottle service, etc.) but it's pretty easy to get your money's worth, especially if you stay at the hotel on a Monday and/or a Tuesday. You go right to the desk on the left as you enter HK, tell them you want a VIP card, and give them $50. They will ask your name (whatever you choose to give them), enter that into the computer, mark your expiration date on your card with a Sharpie (it's good for four months), and you're good to go.

The tricky part about using the card is that if you want, say, your free drink, you have to go to the front desk and tell them you want a free drink. They log that in their system showing that you've now requested that for the day (you only get one per visit) and give you a receipt to give to any bartender or waiter (mesero). I guess that's OK, but if you're sitting in a booth with a chica bonita and you decide you want to take her for your half-price lap dance, you just can't take her to the lap dance room – you have to go back to the desk at the entrance where they go through the same routine of logging you in and giving you a receipt (and taking your $11, which is half the standard $22 price). This actually takes a few minutes, so you might think about doing that in advance if you really think you'll get a lap dance. You definitely can do it on the spur of the moment, but there will be a few minutes of wood-killing procedural folderol.

HK COUPONS
There are some useful coupons which you can print out from the HK website for different things like, for example, one free appetizer or lap dance. You redeem them at the desk at the entrance to HK. They nominally keep track, asking for your email address (you can make that up if you want; I did and it was not a problem), which you write on the back of the coupon. They then staple a receipt to your coupon which you can give to one of the meseros to use. You can't use them in combination with your VIP card, and they're only supposed to be good once during your day/night visit, but if you're cagey (and if there's a different person at the desk when you go back), you can get away using more than one.

MESEROS
People here on TUSCL sometimes complain about the meseros (waiters) because they are omni-present, but I thought they were great pretty much across the board. They all speak English, which can be very helpful, and they are genuinely interested in making sure you have a good experience at HK. Yes, that means more tips for them, but they are all pleasant and eager to please. Not one shorted me on change nor automatically "kept" the tip. If you speak no Spanish, you would do well to befriend a mesero.

GENERAL VIBE IN THE CLUB
Even though you may be entering what many would consider to be a legal bordello, this is not a sleazy place – far from it. HK is very nicely-appointed, easily rivaling many of the upscale clubs in the U.S. The lighting is great throughout, as are the stages and the available seating. Even when it's not super-crowded, there's a fun vibe. The girls are pretty much all in the 7-9 range, with something for everyone in terms of tall, short, thick or thin (though not a lot of ethnic diversity). It's my understanding that the girls all have to get health-tested regularly to work there, and from a personal hygiene standpoint (based on close personal contact with dozens of them), they are generally much cleaner than a lot of American strippers are. And gorgeous.

Every girl I talked to was from somewhere other than Tijuana – Mexico City, Guadalajara, Monterrey, Jalisco, Sinaloa, etc. They come and stay a week or two, make a ton of money (more than what they can make at home), and then go back to their lives and families. It's very rare to find any who are fluent in English. Most speak a little English; a few speak virtually none. My Spanish skills are rudimentary, at best, and I had my best times with those who knew a few words of English and/or were patient with my lousy Spanglish. I found that one of the most useful phrases is "Como se dice..." [co-mo say dee-say], which means "How do you say...?" which shows you are at least making an attempt.

GETTING THE MOST FOR YOUR MONEY
First of all, compared to what you have to pay in U.S. clubs, it's just dirt cheap here, and you can have a good time for even just a fistful of dollars. A single U.S. dollar bill will give you a chance to fondle any girl's boobs – and probably her pussy as well. For the price of a girl's drink – $9.00, plus a $1.00 tip – you can have a girl sit with you in a booth while you explore each others' charms. It's pretty much a given in this situation that breasts will be bared – and maybe more – and touching is the norm. Yes, some of the girls will down their drinks quickly and move on, but they really have an incentive to stay and do what they can to convince you to take them upstairs. Most are quite friendly and accommodating in the booths.

If you're not quite ready to commit to going upstairs, you can get a lap dance (for $22), which is done in a private room with frosted glass. As I mentioned above, free or half-price lap dances are available with the VIP card or a coupon from the website. I did a couple of those, and with one girl I got a CBJ for an additional $20.

Prices quoted to me for going upstairs (arriba) ranged from $60 to $100. The going quoted rate seemed to be $80; some settled for $60, others held firm at $80. The one girl who quoted me $100 very quickly came down to $80. This is basically for 30 minutes in a room at the Hotel Cascadas (see above). Though I know the price of the room can vary, I think it's basically about $17 for 30 minutes. Once you and the girl settle on a price for her time, you go to the door of HK (either the front door or the back door), the girl is given a robe by the door guy (for which you tip $1.00), and you go to the hotel desk on the second floor. You pay the $17, they give the girl a condom and some lube, and you're on your way. I will leave the rest up to your imagination.

No matter where I was in the club or the hotel, I never felt that anyone was out to cheat me or ROB me. All transactions were on the up-and-up. Everyone treated me with kindness and respect -- and, naturally, I reciprocated.

GENERAL VIBE ON THE STREET
I was aware, based on recent TUSCL postings, that there has been some violence on the street around HK, but unless you're drunk and/or stupid (or both) and you keep your wits about you, you should be OK. I was on the street both day and night and never felt threatened. At night, the street (at least the block with HK and Adelita Bar) is so well lit that it's almost like daylight. I saw LOTS and LOTS of street girls hanging out – they are everywhere. I did not interact with any of them on this trip, and other TUSCLers have described that scene more knowledgeably than I ever could. I will say only that the opportunity to engage with them is ever-present.

BORDER CROSSING INTO THE UNITED STATES
Cabs are always parked outside HK; the ride back to the border is $5.00 (plus a $1.00 tip). Just be sure to specify whether you want to be dropped at the old border (vieja frontera) or the new border (nueva frontera). In my experience, the cab drivers all speak English, or at least enough to get you where you need to go. They will drop you off for the (hopefully) short walk to the border crossing station.

Others here have talked about what times are best and worst to try to make the crossing. If you cross on a weekend afternoon, you may wait in line for three to four hours! I crossed at the old border station either early or late evening and there was no line at all. I would guess that much of the foot traffic has migrated to the new crossing. I also was equipped with my Global Entry pass, which saved me a little time, but really, at that time of day there were so few people it didn't make much difference.

You have to stop and talk to a U.S. Border Patrol agent, who will ask you one or more questions, but it's really no big deal. One asked me where I had been and didn't blink when I said La Zona Norte. I think I was always asked where I was going; I said I had a hotel room in San Ysidro. All asked if I had anything to declare (apparently, that's the one required question), and since I hadn't bought anything other than great memories, my answer was always no and I was waved through. It should go without saying that you should not try to bring any drugs with you – in either direction. I am not sure of the likelihood of getting caught, but I am certain that the consequences would not be favorable.

Well, I hope that this has been helpful to you. There are plenty of TUSCLers who are more experienced at this than I am, and I expect that some will post additions, corrections or clarifications to what I've written. I welcome that. And I strongly encourage anyone who has not yet made the trip to do so – before Donald Trump builds that wall!
Jun 2017
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This is just a quick article describing my experience regarding transitioning from a single patron of the strip clubs (via Miami) to going on strip club prowls with Wifey.

I started going to strip clubs at the tender age of 20 years old. One of my good friends who was several years older than me inviting me to a strip club in Carol City. This was the beginning to my strip club journey. It was amazing and scary at the same time.. I didn’t know what to do, what was allowed and who to do it with, lol. Over the next several years I became acquainted with various strip clubs including Cheetahs, Booby Traps and Scarlet’s (my favorite). I visited either alone or with the fellas. Now, as many of you know, if you hit the right strip club at the right time the menu is open to anything you can virtually want. So through my 20s I had a great time, spent a lot of money and don’t regret anything that occurred. Now in my late 20s I met my wife, beautiful, Indian, fine, everybody want her (lol, nah, for real). The problem is that not only do I want her I want all the bitches and strip club and I need to figure out how to continue my quests (alone or as a couple).

Now with Wifey being Indian from India, her moral framework is very different from mine, however I knew she was simi-ok with it because 1st, she with me and 2nd she knew about my journeys. Now with wifey in the picture I had to slow down on my strip club frequencies, however each time I went I told her. I even invited her. I wanted her to know that I enjoyed going and that I didn’t plan on stopping. This is where you know what kind of girl you have. After several times of going without her she finally decided to come with. The first time I went easy, just tipping the girls on stage and didn’t go for a dance (even though she asked why I wasn’t). The next couple of times I spread my wings a little, which didn’t end how I wanted. She got upset however this was the same time that I noticed that Tequila gets her mad (lol). She got upset over strippers asking about dances. So fucking stupid, that is what we were there for! This was a little aggravating however I wasn’t discouraged, I was set on making this a regular thing. The following trips to the club I made sure she only had vodka or fireball (her favorites). I knew that when she drinks these, she is always down to have a good time, and fellas, that’s what we had. She became comfortable in the environment and actually started taking control, picking girls and befriending girls. It has been exactly what I wanted since then. You must be patient and let them take control (better yet, let them think that they are in control).

Now, with this being said, there are several pros and cons associated with the transition. The pros: 1.) Two girls and one guy - every man’s dream. Let her pick the girl, if you guys have watched porn together she knows what you like and you know what she likes so more than likely it will be someone you both like. Even with that being said, wifey will want to make sure that she’s the baddest bitch during play time so initially, give her the most attention, unless she’s just as hungry as you. 2.) If it happened once, it will happen again!! Caution, be patient, allow some time to pass as she will be thinking about the encounter over and over. If possible let her bring it up. It might be something simple like, “Remember that time or remember when we”. That is your que to go for it, she’s ready however don’t be pushy, make it seem organic. The cons: 1.) The first and most important con is that this could result in the end of your relationship, but hey, you only live once, you have to go for what you want – ain’t no more to that. 2.) Since she allowed you to be with her and another girl, it is possible that she may want to bring another man into the bedroom – hell nah! Don’t let this one bother you fellas, come up with a strong excuse why this is not okay at the beginning, before anything ever happens so she already knows that “it’s a no” – be creative, blame it on a past relationship. 3.) She may want to end up with the girl solodolo and leave you. Again fellas, believe in yourselves, this can be a positive if you play it right. You either whisper her ear like demons on her shoulders that it’s best that you both do this as a team and tell her how it will make your relationship stronger. Or my favorite, tell her it’s ok for her to have a girlfriend (stripper gf!! – yes, winning).

Fellas! You must not become discouraged or feel like this is an impossible feat. If you believe that it can happen, believe wholeheartedly that this is achievable, there is no doubt that it can and will happen. Happy hunting fellas!
Small city in the Deep South
Sep 1999
Jun '17
9
101/1
131/35
2
June 14, 2017
6
16 Hours Ago
Lap Dance Prices, Alfred North Whitehead, and Market Irrationality
---or---
Lapper prices. Are they going up? AGAIN? Fucking what the fucking FUCK?

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So, are lap-dance prices rising? It looks like $40 for one song is becoming appropriate in some settings for some contexts. An interim measure of $35 is not unreasonable, so the market seems to suggest. The $20 lapper's days may be numer.

But. Do you remember every single goddamned time that lap-dance prices started going up, every single occasion that it happened, and JUST HOW GODDAMNED PISSED OFF you were about it?

I remember mainly the one big tectonic plate-shift of lapper pricing some time in around 1997 or so ... some cities earlier, some cities later; some clubs were exploitative or at least opportunistic early adopters of the new regime, and other clubs responded by being recalcitrant opportunistic exploiters of their competition's price hikes! Eventually, though, everybody made the change, and they've made it more or less permanent. Upwards.

By 1997 or so, I think, things had finally changed to the more expensive.

Up to the late 80s and early 90s, a lap-dance was an oddity and not the norm, to be had at a smaller number of certain "special" clubs which made up 50% or less of the total "burlesque" market out there, which consisted of variously named joints buildings centers clubs establishments venues etc. all of which provided women in stages of undress. Hence, up the the late 80s or early 90s, a lap-dance would cost about $10, though it might come in a pricing-packet bundle or it might require other outlay of funds for other amenities.

But then, by the late 90s, things had changed. Burlesque as a performance was long since dead, while sexual services and most "adult" establishments were growing more and more mainstream. Jazz bands and feather boas were no longer necessary. It started to look like every strip-club would soon offer SOME form of dancer-to-customer contact: a lap-dance or bed-dance or sweetheart-dance or just plain old "back room". Small city council jurisdictions across the country began ongoing battles with First Amendment Rights activists over how to curtail this lewd anti-social menace. By the end of the change-over, an official lap-dance would come to be established as lasting the length of ONE rock-song, at roughly 3.5 to 4.5 minutes; and it would cost $20, though it still might be assorted into pricing-packet bundles of one sort or another as of yore. And there really hadn't been much middle ground. Rather, BOOM! suddenly prices DOUBLED and they did so everywhere for everything lapper.

I think my recollection is roughly accurate at least for the cities which I frequented at that time -- mostly, Tampa and Toronto, and a little bit of Memphis and New Orleans and Detroit or points nearby. In 1988, it would have been $10 for maybe a five-minute "cuddle dance" on a couch at the side of a club. By 2000, it was pretty much guaranteed to be $20 for a one-rock-song lap-dance at the patron's chosen location, higher entry price for more privacy.

To me, the change from $10 to $20 was a radical game-changer. Before the change, I would just head on out to sample the party, like grabbing a few chicken wings at the buffet. It was easy to take what I wanted and to experience up to satiety. I got ENOUGH. Nobody could possibly have danced me into the ground, neither wallet-wise nor duration-wise, because the experience was generic and simple. Then after the change, I had to plan, to think, to goddamned care about what I did with my time, and therefore I had to choose how much. How much of EVERYTHING. I had to choose how much to drink of alcohol, or whether to drink at all; I had to pick which club to visit; I had to decide what to wear; I had to remember when I had last shaved my face (and my balls); I had to consider whether or not I lived in the same city as people who might recognize me at an "illicit adult establishment" and whether that would be bad for my workplace image. Worse, I had to select among the dancers. I had to "examine" each one for lap-dance viability, run them through an audition in the expensive "trial" pricing structures before heading to any potential longer session of bundled dances in a more private room, and so forth. It went from off-the-cuff to make-an-appointment-in-the-datebook, from whatever-floats-your-boat to there's-a-right-way-to-get-this-thing-organized-properly.

Yet I personally hadn't really gotten any poorer or richer during the change. The new price totally changed my ATTITUDE. By the way, it's no surprise to me to note, that the change happened just as the internet started to become mainstream. Girls and managers started to find out what other clubs and other cities were like and they started to be able to compare experiences, the pricing climbed to what the market would probably have tolerated for quite a long preceding time, and they could have raised the prices earlier except they just didn't have information, didn't know how to exploit the demand.

The change changed my MIND. My disposable income would easily keep up with the change, and the overall impact on my personal bottom line was perhaps still negligible. I invested the same amount of my total income, I spent the same amount of time on going out to strip clubs as compared to working out or seeing movies or attending church, I drank the same amount of alcohol (or non-alcohol). The cost of lappers didn't really impact those balances. Well, of course, I'm sure I would like to have all that spent money BACK, wouldn't we all? I would want it sitting in some Mutual Fund growing interest ever since that day that I had instead spent it, naturally. But I'd say exactly the same thing about any money I spent on vacations or expensive dinners at nice restaurants -- gee, if I could have it back, if I could go back in time. But we can't. Duh. So the expenses, for me, from before or after, at $10 or $20, neither made nor broke me, neither represented "good" or "bad" pricing in true neo-Liberal Free Market terms. I had little intrinsic sense of the value of a lapper, other than that price-point at which the market had evaluated it and therefore charged me for it. True Economics 101. But somehow, despite my agnosticism regarding any intrinsic worth that a lapper might have to me, I just could not mentally "justify" spending the larger amount of money. At $20, I suddenly felt like a lapper "had to be worth it" to be bought; I felt like I would keep in mind my expenditures; I felt like girls had really better KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

And yet, damnit, they DON'T. Lappers haven't gotten any better. Dancers haven't gotten any more skilled at them. The likelihood that, in my first lap-dance with a dancer who is otherwise a new acquaintance to me, her dancing will turn out to give me an excellent experience, or a miserable one, is still about the same likelihood. If I had to put numbers on it, I'd say it's roughly 60% likely, that I'll enjoy the lapper enough to say I don't regret it; another 15% or 20% likely that it will be so extremely wonderful that I'll want more more more from the same girl (i.e., that's a chance of about 1 in 4, ranging to 1 in 3, per individual dancer); and the remaining 20% to 25% likely (1 in 4 overall) that this will be the one only and last dance I ever have from her because she's lame. Before, at $10, those were the likelihoods; and now, after, at $20, those are still the likelihoods. This fact bothers me. More money for no more service. Drat. Fuckin' free market sux man.

Income has not necessarily increased for mongers appreciably over that time-period; I suppose for DANCERS it has, at least in terms of potential income per hour or per song? An average working dude has an income which reflects his status, education, skill, duration of tenure, value, negotiation, ethics, whatever, just the same. Salaries for PLs haven't gone up disproportionately, have they? The cost of doing lap-dance business has not significantly increased. In fact, I think it has partly decreased, given that the legality of the situation is more clear-cut and the mainstream social pressure to avoid it has been reduced. It costs the same, or less, to give lap dances. And the clients are not any richer than we were. But the prices have gone up.

So why is our higher expense not yielding higher levels of service? The pervasive nature of lappers, I suppose, is the explanation among the neo-Liberals. The damn spin-on-my-crotch things are taking place all over the map, every club, every county, all the patrons have heard about them and want them, it's become almost impossible to legislate against them and everyone knows it; therefore, it's become clear that there's a higher demand than was understood in the $10 era, right? That's what they'd say. And with more demand can be higher prices right? Demand up, all other things equal, prices up.

Well, but there's also more supply, in my opinion. More girls are willing to do lapper dances, partly because it's more self-evident that the action isn't an illegal activity; partly because, hey, everyone's doing it, there's less social censure against it. Many many more clubs offer the lap-dance experience. In fact, I think more clubs EXIST, are IN BUSINESS at all, than before. And by the way, it's an unlimited resource, this thing called pussy; they keep making more 18 year old girls, and last time I looked, every single one of them had an 18-year-old body, not a year older! How on earth can a perpetual, unlimited resource be in SHORT supply? Young girls are reckless, and are busy one-upping one another in the looks department, and they always will be. There's never going to be a dearth of dancers, only a dearth of clubs or a dearth of jurisdictions that allow clubs with lap-dances. So far, the First Amendment Activists have driven the market's supply side well toward favoring the mongers by eliminating that threat. Infinitely more dancers, more clubs, more opportunity, less restriction, this all means much more supply. Prices should go down, right?

So, we must engender competition to lower prices. We can cause them to drop, I suppose, would be our natural and necessary reply. I guess. TUSCL would be a good place to start. Rise up, brothers in chairs! Brothers on sofas, in back rooms, behind thinly-veiled curtains of VIP! Join in solidarity, to demand what is our God-given right, to a full-service fair accord in which lap-dances are not exorbitantly priced! I don't exactly see that this will ever come to fruition. In fact, if anything, prices seem to be on the verge of going UPWARDS again. What the fuck? Now $35 at some of the higher-end clubs, and $40 is pretty much the norm on weekends in the big cities.

Too much, I sometimes think. They haven't priced me out of the market due to my lack of funds. They're priced me out of the market due to their lack of respect. It's not that I can't afford it, or that I make different choices with my money. Often I withdraw the same old amount, absent-mindedly, and then just don't happen to go to a club to spend it. I'm not "thinking with my feet." I'm just wondering why anyone would WANT that. I really don't feel it's sensible (I suppose this means, I AM thinking with my feet, I admit it) to spend more on a single rock-song's worth of lap dancing than I would on an ENTIRE DAY of out-of-the-house dining. I think of three to four minutes of a girl gyrating on my willy with her butt and coochie as ... well, as not a big deal; it's an untrained, non-trade, non-unionized, off-the-cuff, can-do-it-at-any-time-of-day-or-night, requires no infrastructure, is not a liability concern, has no HIPPAA compliance mandate, toss-off purchase. Like getting that Snickers bar at the gas station while paying for my gasoline: nothing I need, something I probably cannot be said even to WANT, merely something I happened to open my wallet for, something I would just as well do without as do with. An impulse purchase, no value added to my life, neither necessary nor durable nor staple nor idiosyncratically exotic.

Exotic? Is a lap-dance actually a LUXURY service? I don't think so. It fits that sector, according to the classical economist, I suppose. But then he quotes Maslow on the hierarchy of needs and puts the drive for reproduction at the top of the list, which of course is inherently one major cause of any hetero male's interest in a lapper, right? He's contradicting himself, this economist.

No, lappers are "fun money" income. My impression is, that just as McDonald's jobs were never DESIGNED to be longer-term income for longer-term employees, for the permanent American under-class of dope-stupid brain-deads who won't finish High School, similarly, lapper services are not DESIGNED to be the full means of support for single mothers. McDonald's employees are SUPPOSED to be high-school kids who stil live at home, use mom and dad's car on the weekends, and are learning the meaning of an honest day's work for an honest dollar, right? The market for pricing, of the burger or of their wages, is not entirely a free market neo-liberal phenomenon. We giving them money because it incentivizes their education, see what I mean? As the economist would whine, there should be no minimum wage for a bunch of high school kids who don't need or want the job. To the contrary, if we let Democrats and other Socialists unionize them and drive up the minimum wage for burger-flippers, what we're doing is crediting the entire fast-food industry with the capacity to operate as though it were the same as the Life Insurance sector, replete with product managers and investment oversight boards and a right to tax-break consideration when they provide meaningful infrastructure investment, right?

Similarly, we should not give the lap-dance industry that type of credit. A hot chick is hot because of no thing she ever did. Her ability at a lapper could motivate me to pay her more, because of value added, but the industry doesn't guarantee me that she will have the requisite level of skill (see above, dance quality is not improving, in the aggregate, despite increased prices and even in the face of grossly inflated supply). Her level of education, like the McDonald's burger flipper, is really the central question here. To me, as a patron, if she wants $35 a dance, I'm going to have to decide whether her Big Mac is worth it or not. In a truly free market, in which the consumer (demand) works as hard as the producer (supply), there would be give-and-take. Groups of mongers would refuse to pay; enclaves of low pricing would pop up, with opportunistic dancers and club managers taking advantage of their competition's hiked prices by lowering their own. The market would fluctuate, and reach fair equilibrium. But we don't have that situation, mongers are unlikely to balk at higher prices (see above, I don't exactly see that this will ever come to fruition), consequently we're supporting an inflated price structure. To put it in neo-Liberal terms, we're paying the price of our own stupidity. So, the purchase just looks stupider and stupider, and the consumer grows more and more alienated from the interaction.

It can't really be said that the dancers are an intelligent market participant, in the aggregate. They go out, they take what they can get, they dance the night away, grinding on crotches if they get $100 profit at the end of the night or $500. In fact, the indeterminacy of their night's worth of income is one factor that argues strongly in favor of their failure to be a truly "rational" economic actor. They don't make a decision on the basis of the cost (in their case, the negative cost; the income). They can't, because they can't KNOW it. Rather, they are ADDICTED to it. They're hooked on the adrenalin and the ease of having money for "nothing but partying" and the sales-pitch nature of the situation. Every dancer who needs more money, promptly reads off of single girl who made more money than her, the clear message of, "You must just not be hot enough." The absence of rational economic decision-making on their part, and perhaps on our part too, makes this a woffly weeply market that makes little sense. Drama, prices, coolness, adolescent kissing games on the basement sofa, can we really say that the "market will bear" a price increase? I don't think so. Because I don't think there IS a market for lap-dances.

I mean, sure, viewed from a long distance away, of course there is. Neo-Liberal and classical economists will show you that the mere fact of it taking place is enough to say that something is working like a market, and I do agree. But I think the thing that is being bought and sold is absolutely not lap-dances. It makes much more sense to consider it as a market of self-esteem, or of cojones, mojo, some sort of "intrinsic" value that we humans place upon ourselves and place upon other humans. If you flip-flip all the above analysis, and stop thinking about price-per-service, dollar outlay for a lap-dance, maybe it makes a little bit more sense.

At least, it does to me. When I think, "Hey, why is it exactly that I don't want to pay $35, I probably don't want to pay $20, but I'm OK with paying $10," and the thing I'm buying is something that is essentially useless to me, I wonder what kind of brain I have. A luxury or unnecessary good, yet I have an emotional need to evaluate it at a certain "reasonable" level? You can't buy a luxury goods or services with "reason." The market for luxury has no reason. Nobody ever owned a Lamborghini "reasonably." It doesn't admit of rational economic actors. A Lamborghini doesn't travel any faster than the latest BMW or look any better than a classic Cadillac or, if you get drunk and puke in the Lamborghini, it doesn't smell any better than a mini-van after your kid has puked in it. (Worse, in fact, probably.) Lap-dances the same -- there is very little "rational" economic activity going on there. That's because we aren't buying lap-dances.

So, when I look at my emotional investment, what I see is, a need to evaluate myself highly. At $35 a song, a dancer is saying to me, "You're a PL and all I see is a dollar sign. I'm a Hoover, I will vacuum your wallet, have a nice day, this is an impersonal interaction. Pay. Oh wait, forgot, have to dance. Here (gyrate gyrate) tah dah, ten-second dance, now pay." Insulting. At $20 a song, I'm feeling like, "Well, take it or leave it mister, I'm sure someone else here will pay that much." And I like to be able to prove I'm not a PL, just for the novelty of it, you know. Once in a while, take my own life by the balls, be in charge, decide what I want and reject some things that I don't want. At $10, a dancer is saying to me, "I hope you like me. Please approve of me?" I like this, but it does smack of a little bit of desperation. She needs to make the sale, and therefore she engages in actions which will bring it about. Improving her skills; becoming personable; losing weight; appearing properly attractive. At $35 a song, she is no longer motivated to do so, because she knows that the likelihood of income is not seriously improved by her instigation of any improvement regiment. At $35, her being a bitchy cunt to ten men will still run nine of them off, but it will also net enough money from the tenth to make up for the lost nine. Whereas, at $10, she has her destiny in her own hands. Well, most of it; her tits are in my hands; and I suppose her tits are part of her destiny, aren't they? She needs OUR approval as much as we need hers. At $10, it feels to me like she asks us to approve of the transaction.

Problem is, of course, we go to strip clubs because we don't otherwise get females to do that. The reason this market is skewed, and the commodity waffles among self-esteem, lap services, the sex industry, and just plain old sales, is that one of the items that's being bought and sold is, in fact, the CAPACITY for market participation. It's like sales forces buying and selling salespeople from one another. Because the average PL lacks the capacity to woo (in other words, to NEGOTIATE) for himself the fact that (adequately hot, adequately apealing, adequately young) woman into lying in his bed and approving of him, he goes about finding other ways to get his hands on her tits. I do this, you do this, we all do this, PL or not. That much is free market. But then, the FACT of being good or bad at negotiation is, in itself, an indicator of market status. So, there's a self-referential circle going on. The PL lacks what he seeks; sure, we know that. But also, the lack of it causes him to be poor at seeking at. A double-whammy. Thus, the dancer is free to double-exploit.

If you know your Whitehead, here's a theory, a propounded but perhaps profound metaphor: we are the set of all sets. The sex industry, and in particular the mainstream-most part of it, that is, the pictures of semi-naked girls who advertise underwear in the newspapers and magazines, and who grind on our laps at strip clubs, is self-referential. When you buy a car, you need some degree of negotiation skills, but you are not BUYING the very act of negotiating between yourself and a salesperson. When you buy even the nicest Lamborghini, you may get a high price or a low price depending to some extent on your own negotiation skills, but you will absolutely not be able to say, after the interaction, that you have become a better negotiator by merit of owning a Lamborghini. Aside from the small lesson of experience that you get from that one interaction, you gain no salesman points. Study enough of them, sure, you can learn. But mostly, it's an engine, tires, and an expensive chassis which you have bought.

To the contrary, when you buy a lapper, you buy negotiation. You not only get the service that you have purchased. You also get the sense that you are now better at buying that service. Why is this? Well, because otherwise there would be a much more rational market for lap-dance services. Unlimited supply would dictate a rather low price; flagging demand would lower that price; any sensible competition among dancers would further lower it. The market doesn't seem to act that way. Therefore, I conclude, the thing which we are selling is not lap-dance services, but rather, self-esteem, of the subtle form that I would call self-reference. Getting a lap-dance causes the provider (the dancer) or manufacturer (her mother?) to think that a negative has taken place -- she has gyrated, offered a service, reduced her value by performing actions which otherwise she would not do. She brings almost no expertise, but she raises demand by being remarkably visually appealing. The desire for her is there, so the demand for her is there. But it is evanescent. Hotter girl walks by, and monger watches her instead. Super-hottie walks by, and I've been known to break off halfway through a song with a half-hearted ugg and chase down her much more desirable competition! And guess what? The ugg seldom complains. She knows she should not get the money. Intrinsically, inherently, sub-consciously, she is already aware that it would HURT her more to chase after her former customer to demand that he pay for what he partially received, in the face of her knowledge that he desires someone else more than he desires her.

Hence, she is not selling the service. Else she would naturally demand money for it. (Some still do, of course. Maybe most. The market is still fairly powerful in her mind. But my example of how it HURTS her, merely makes the point that there's a sub-conscious twinge of regret, a tie to something other than price of service paid for that service.) Instead, to her, she is BUYING OUR APPROVAL, and we, too, are buying her ability to give us her approval.

That's why the prices need to be within a reasonable range, and that's why most of us can probably invest "emotional" value in lap-dance pricing. Some high prices are "too" high, even though the service is supposedly just a luxury. Some low prices may be "too" low as well, demeaning to seller and to buyer, reducing the transaction to something unpleasant. I don't want just any old ass to grind on my crotch. I want That One Special Girl to do so, and I want to make sure I know she's special, and I want her to know that I know, and she wants me to know that I know that she knows, and so on and on and so forth, self-referentially impossible to escape the cycle.

Whitehead explained all of this in his Principia Mathematica. In this book, his grand scheme was to come up with a mathematics of everything. He (and his student Bertrand Russel) did come up with a mathematics of a lot of things. But of everything? No, they ultimately decided that would be impossible. Why? Because there could never be a complete mathematics OF mathematics. Any system which has to reference itself, also has to contradict itself. They proved this assertion through the now-famous example of the "set of all sets." (I won't go into the reasoning. This paragraph has enough proper nouns related to it, for you to easily find the reasoning by means of Google and Wikipedia.) Strip-clubbing, like much of pornography and the adult-services industry, is inextricably self-referential. We don't buy in order to have the product. We buy, or sell, in order to approve of ourselves, and in turn to gain the knowledge of another person offering us their approval, and in turn to know that she knows that we know, and so on. Thus, it CANNOT act like a rational market commodity. It MUST have some degree of extremely irrational behavior.

Such as, at present, the fact that prices go up even though demand is rather small, costs are already prohibitively high, and world-wide supply is demonstrably unlimited.

Next question, then, how do we stop this nefarious cycle? Just some thoughts. Yours also welcome.
Jun 2016
Jun '17
3
0/1
5/4
0
June 14, 2017
9
19 Hours Ago
Liquid Lapdance shorts (referred to as LL from herein) look like a jockstrap with a pouch of latex to hold the genitalia. This latex pouch creates a very pleasing sensation (after generous application of lubrication) once an entertainer is grinding heavily against it. The opening to the latex pouch has no elastic band. The latex is very thick and elastic and smooth, reminiscent of nitrile medical gloves without the grainy texture. The user is supposed to insert a desired amount of lubrication into the pouch and spread the lubrication into the inner surface by rubbing the outside of the pouch between his palms.

The variables of the experiment are choice of wear, choice of lubrication, going commando vs not, choice of dancer/ dancing position, and alternative LDK methods. To maintain maximum discretion I kept the latex pouch hidden out of sight, and tucked up against my groin/ pubic mound during all instances of testing.

1) choice of wear: I experimented with loose fitting basketball shorts (100% polyester), sweatpants (95% polyester, 5% spandex), dress pants(53%wool, 46% polyester, 2% spandex), and tight fitting basketball shorts(100% polyester). When going commando I managed to achieve LDK with all choices of wear except the tight fitting basketball shorts.

Please note that the latex pouch was OBVIOUSLY NOTICEABLE in the daytime when wearing loose fitting shorts; I have not experimented with different brands of loose fitting shorts to determine if the pouch can be better hidden.

My recommendation is to wear dark sweatpants if going during the day time, and wearing dark shorts if going during the night time.

2) choice of lubrication: I experimented with silicone lube, water based lube, baby oil, and the jelly provided with the LL shorts. While I was able to achieve LDK with all of the aforementioned lubrication, the silicone and baby oil required tremendous amounts to achieve the same result.
It was during the use of the silicone lube and baby oil, WHILST wearing underwear that I noted a sensation of "crotch dampness" after the LD. It was akin to sitting in a pool of oil, highly uncomfortable and highly un-recommended.

I found the thick jelly provided with the LL shorts (and later thick water based gel lube) to be the best and most efficient lubrication.

3) to go commando or not: I managed to LDK regardless of my choice of wear EVEN WHEN wearing underwear over the pouch; however, the number of songs need to achieve the LDK was always higher (regardless of choice of wear). For instance, with water based jelly lubricant, commando, and loose shorts I'd LDK in two songs; whereas when I went in underwear (same lubricant and choice of wear) it'd take me four songs to achieve LDK.

During my first commando test (loose fitting shorts) I was very worried that the combination of liquid compliments and lubrication would leak out and trickle down my leg during vigorous
grinding; I am glad and relieved to report that this has never once been the case!

4) choice of entertainer/ dancing position: My subjective observation was that with rubenesque entertainers I was able to achieve LDK regardless of whether I was receiving a dance in CG-like/RCG-like/TF-like grinding position. However with thinner entertainers I was only ever able to achieve LDK from a CG-like position. I highly suspect this is the due to subjective bias (favoring rubenesques).

5) alternative LDK methods: I experimented with five alternate LDK methods, commando no lube, underwear no lube, underwear with lubricated condom, commando with lubricated condom, and commando with lube (no condom) all whilst wearing sweatpants (95% polyester, 5% spandex). I was unable to achieve LDK in the two instances of no lube, as well as the instance of underwear with lubricated condom. To my great surprise both remaining instances (commando with lube, and commando with lubricated condom) felt akin to wearing the LL. Of all the alternative LDK methods I far prefer commando with lube (no condom).

6) Possible sources of error: I had ordered twenty four pairs of LL when I decided to start this experiment, with the intent to use each pair only one time. However with 69 different combination of variables to test, I undoubtedly had to wash, dry, and reuse the LL shorts up to three times. This cleaning process was performed by hand with soap and warm water, and may have (in some way) contributed to LDK experiences.

I would have liked to lock down two entertainers for this experiment (one rubenesque, and one thin) but this was impossible. The enthusiasm of the entertainers may have contributed to LDK experiences (though I really want to doubt this).

Lastly choice of lubrication brand may have contributed to LDK experiences.

7) TL:DR : I highly recommend the LL if you don't want FS but still want to enjoy yourself, if you don't plan on being in the club after LDK'ing and if you don't mind walking around with a well used pseudo jock strap on the way home (understandably, loads of people can't get over this). I recommend any potential wearers to find a comfortable and dark pair of sweatpants (I used 95% polyester, 5% spandex) or dark and loose fitting athletic shorts (I used 100% polyester), with a thick water based-gel lubricant; while the choice to go commando (or not) should be made at your comfort/ discretion, I subjectively prefer going commando. Happy and safe hounding.
Sep 2016
Jun '17
3
25/1
3/3
1
June 6, 2017
5
June 17, 2017
LE stings and rip-offs are way to common. We miss the charm of brick and mortar establishments where the Madam would put a parade in your honor. Since the business moved online there's no choice but to adapt to the system of no returns policy and the traps looking to chain your rocks if you raise your guns in salutation.

0. Go to Mexico or Thailand or Europe. Otherwise go to a reviewed website or services, that have been around for sometime. Unless you want to really take some risk.

1. Reverse image search. If you are a Backpage lurker or a rubmap squatter this is the first thing to do. Chrome give a default right click option (right click on image) to search for images. Or you can download a image go to images.google.com and upload and search (there's a camera icon on right end of search bar). There's other websites like tineye that provide the same service.
You will be amazed 99% of the images are of Instagram models in public domain. Generally nobody posts real pictures online, not the least LE. Once you go online 4chan will keep you alive in dark corners. Now FB and Instagram have explicitly banned crawling for images. So you may not sometimes find match because the images have to be on domains that allow crawling.

2. Follow them Instagram models. Now this works in dual way. You get your kicks and you know some of them images directly by looking at them.

3. Reverse caller ID. Use TrueCaller app. Now I don't advertise them but they are damn good because it's self service, you register they get your contact list. It's as good as your friends telling the world who you are. There are other services but all of them are shitty at least in my experience.

4. Must hear voice. Know your codes text a bit : 929 is a Google voice number. There are many services that let you text and not call. There are many services that let you call but not text. Text can be spewed by bots. Once you text and are comfortable, you must call to verify the voice.
Must call and hear voice. The shorter and precise the girl talks the better. Remember nobody wants to flirt with you on phone. The max they should say is 2 sentences. I am available at time x, place y. Done. If they want to parley or talk more run they are LE.

5. Don't Id yourself. Time and again they will ask you for ID but you shouldn't. The girls know if you're LE, you will have a fake id. Also John is always fucked by LE , Jane has their sympathy.

6. Control your scene. Try to get your own.It may be tricky sometimes but you should try to avoid isolated residential places. Read more from PLs here.

7. BLOT. Try not to talk about money yourself or accept in plain yes/no. Say I trust you're worth a million :) You never know what you're bargaining for. Let them tell you. Best would be to let them tell you when you meet in person. Now it may sound ridiculous, but it's the best way. The ask will be in the ballpark you expect. Better let them get naked before :) that way you at least got to kiss and touch.

8. Never handover money directly and in plain view.

9. Never pay bfore the act.

10. Do not leave her out of sight.

11. If she acts funny or too excited or your gut feeling says something is wrong with the scene, run. Just say you got the wrong address.

12. Keep your expectations low. You are a PL. You won't find your DS here. Most would be average girl next door trying to temporarily make a quick buck to pay rent or tuition. Some may be junkies. Most may have tried stripping or web camming but got out of the game because of a broken limb by accident or design or got pregnant and gained weight. Most just lose the confidence to take to the pole, like you have lost your confidence to ask out a civilian.

13. Be nice. You don't need to make it rain. But once you have their trust you can make late night booty calls if you like them. The same with strippers once you start otc, you can keep it going if you want.

14. Personal Advice: Don't do it. Find a civvie ....Or Go to clubs ....Or Practice either chastity or masturbation. Good luck yanking your belts.
Apr 2017
Jun '17
1
0/1
1/1
0
May 28, 2017
12
June 22, 2017
Ok, Ok. The title is a little misleading.I have only been without testicles for a year now, but I was down to one testicle for about 16 years. When I was 16 years old I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.The 1st step in treating testicular cancer, is to remove the testicle. Well, actually they can't even confirm it is cancer until the testicle is removed and they can do a biopsy. At that time, I also went through Chemo and the whole 9 yards.Fast forward to last year and I feel a lump in my remaining testicle. They tried to only remove 1/2 of it to leave me with something but that didn't turn out so well and they had to remove the whole thing. Again, I went through chemo but much more intense this time. If you would like me to write an article about that whole experience, I will be happy to. But i am just laying down the background for where I am at now.

So living most of my post pubescent life with only 1 testicle made me very self conscious.My personality was always a bit more reserved but with only 1 testicle, made me scared shitless to approach women in a sexual way. I am now 32 and I have never hooked up, never dated, never even drunkenly made out. Now I know what most of you must be thinking right now "his lack of game has nothing to do with his balls or the lack there of. He is probably some ugly ass socially backward star trek nerd." I will be the 1st to admit that I am no Adonis, but I am also not bad to look upon. I am also a bit awkward but more in the we will laugh about this later. And my source for my appeal is not simply because my mother says I how handsome I am. There have been a few very attractive women who either told me directly or I found out from 3rd party source, that had crushes on me and was wishing I made a move. One I found out as she was moving out of state, another was an employee and I am not going to risk my career over that, and the third although attractive had some serious baggage. Now do I agree that if I would grow some theoretical balls, the lack of physical balls wouldn't be an issue, Absolutely! And now I am mentally ok with not having any balls but the fear I have now is that I am 32 and have never had sex, hell I have never even madeout before. I am sure you all can recall your 1st times and how awkward that was. As a teenager that awkwardness is ok because it is probably one of her 1st times too.As a 32 year old, it is very unlikely it will be hers too.

So I am afraid of being the real life version of the movie "40 year old virgin" So I have come up with a plan to get some of this early awkwardness out of the way and to become more comfortable with the sexual side of things.

Step1: go to strip clubs. Get comfortable around a naked woman. Talk to women when they are being paid to pretend you are interesting. This can be kinda a confidence booster. Then of course get comfortable touching, squeezing, and slapping a naked woman. Maybe even get some extras to get use to a woman touching you. Although the 1st time i went last week there was no extras to be found or I am not good/smart enough to know how to get them.

Step 2: Get on Tinder. This is suppose to be a dating app where the main go is just hooking up.So this way I am getting there really clumsy 1st times out of the way with people I wouldn't normally interact with on a daily basis.The thing with this is that I won't be able to put up an actual pic of myself because I have employees that use this app and I am in a big company and I am in a position in this company that I really don't need that spread around. So I was thinking about making the profile pics be a bunch of pics of pairs of balls. like a pair of tennis balls, a pair of golf balls, or a pair of bowling balls. i would make this profile very much about me not having any balls since that is not a well known thing at work and woman would be curious. For example does anything come out when he orgasms? And there is only 1 way to find that out. Then maybe a few will give me some sympathy lays, I'm not too proud for that.

Step 3: Start meeting woman in real life. Go on date with woman I would actually want to have a relationship with and not be worried that I would be a huge disappointment in bed.

Well that is the plan I have made. Feel free to comment how idiotic it is. Or if you have some advice to improve the plan or if you have a better plan, I am all ears.
Sep 2013
Jun '17
7
43/2
12/7
36
May 28, 2017
32
June 6, 2017
When I take a new guy to a Strip Club with me, I always give him some standard advice. None of this is meant to be a lecture or to imply I have a better way of doing things than you do -- a lot of you tuscl guys have your own styles and ways of doing things, that work better for you than anything I can advise. But for brand new guys, some "here's how to act" can really increase their fun at the club. So, without further ado, here are my "rules", and the general speech the new guys get on the way to the club:

1. Don't be an asshole
2. Don't be a little bitch

That's it! You're welcome. Thanks for the VIP, founder!

What's that you say? You'd like me to elaborate a little? Well sure, if you insist! Let's start off with the easy one first:

**** Don't Be an Asshole ****

Amazing how some guys go full retard when they get to the strip club. I find the best way to act is to boot up in "behave like an adult, and remember the strippers are people, treat them that way".

- If she comes over to you, and you're not interested, don't string her along ... this is her job, time is money for her. Assholes waste strippers' time.

- If you call her over, she hangs out with you for 20 minutes, and after that 20 minutes, you decide you don't really want to get dancers from her anymore, slip her a $10 or $20 before you send her on her way.

- Every club will have some standard of expected touching, but if you go beyond that, seek consent. I personally advise seeking explicit verbal consent, but some guys prefer implicit consent -- that is, they move their hand very slowly towards ground zero, giving her plenty of time to intercept and move it away; if she doesn't, they assume she's okay with it. Not my style but whatever.

- If a girl comes over to you and you don't want a dance from her, don't wave your hand and turn away, as if she's a piece of shit. 20 seconds of conversation before you decline won't kill you.

- Don't get too personal with your questions. I know many guys do this by accident ... they just get caught up in the nightclub atmosphere, and as with a "civilian", start asking personal questions about where she lives, etc. This is NOT a nightclub, she is NOT a dating prospect, and personal questions aren't just annoying, they are a matter of serious personal safety for her. Have fun but don't lose the plot ... she's a stripper, she has every reason to stay anonymous, stay away from asking her compromising questions.

**** Don't be a Little Bitch ****

This one seems to be a little more difficult to follow. My definition of a little bitch is: if you are intimidated by a 22 year old girl in her underwear, you're a little bitch. The girls can smell weakness, and once they can tell you're a little bitch, you can be in for some rough, trip-ruining treatment. So, here's some ways to be a little bitch, or more importantly, how to avoid it.

- If a stripper comes over to you and you don't want a dance, here's the best thing to say. "No thanks, but thank you anyway". You don't owe her an explanation. You don't need to be passive-aggressive ("maybe later"), you don't need to invent excuses ("I'm waiting for someone", "I'm out of money"). It's not that those excuses don't "work", in the sense that they will lead to the desired effect in that the dancer will go away. But, two problems: 1. Being passive aggressive or so intimidated you need to lie to her, puts you in a defensive little-bitch mindset from the start. "No thanks" is what confident people say. People who are scared make up excuses. A bold, in-control mindset really does impact how you think and how you're perceived by others. 2. The girls KNOW that you're lying about waiting for someone or that "maybe later" means you're too scared to say "no". And among the more sadistic ones, that's their cue to turn on the high hustle -- and this can lead to some really unpleasant interactions.

- Speaking of unpleasant interactions, a common one is: You say "maybe later", she starts asking you questions "Why not?", you answer, she asks you more questions ("don't you like black girls?" "why are you here if you don't like dances?") all meant to either 1. strong-arm you into getting more dances, or 2. humiliate you so she can feel better about herself. I don't even sit there and meekly answer her questions and let her dictate the conversation -- this pattern by the girls is ALWAYS aggression. Often, I'll simply shut it down -- repeat "no thanks" without answering the question, etc. Sometimes, I'll engage her in conversation, but here's my rule: I NEVER answer any of her questions, instead I turn it around and she can answer mine. (Her: Am I not your type? Me: What do you think? Who do you think my type is?)... the more aggressive girls realize what I'm doing and walk away; the less aggressive girls will sit there and meekly answer my questions for a while, and if I think she's fun, well now I have a new friend. But sitting there and playing into her game, answering question after question from a girl you're not interested in, is being a little bitch.

- You don't have to tip. I tip, without being asked, for EXTRAORDINARY service. If a stripper asks for a tip and I don't want to tip her, my usual response: "Sorry I don't tip" I say it respectfully, but with eye contact -- I feel I don't owe her any more explanation. Sometimes, if I'm feeling magnanimous, I'll add in, "Sorry, I don't tip, but show my appreciation by buying more dances, I'll let you know if I'm up for that". That's it. A lot of the passive aggressive guys have policies like, "if she asks for a tip, I'll tip her... but then I'll never do dances with her again!" By now, you know the view of I have of that -- it is the living embodiment of being a little bitch. You're so scared of her you're rewarding her when you didn't think she deserved it, and then somehow think she's going to realize that you're avoiding her because of it?

- Exact same advice for tipping, goes for buying drinks. I personally think buying drinks and food for the girls is easily the best deal in the strip club, but if it's not your thing, any pressure you put on yourself about "looking bad because I'm not buying her a drink" is just your inner bitch speaking.

**** Conclusions****

Through all of this, I think it's important to stay respectful, smiling, relaxed, and in control. Do so, and you'll be respected and treated how you'd like, and far less likely to run into trip-killing negative experiences. Some of the girls are bat-shit crazy and will go off on you no matter what you do. But in general, if you're neither an asshole nor a little bitch, this maximizes your chances of fun interactions and minimizes the chances of the really horrible ones that leave a bad taste in your mouth. And remember the advice of the greatest actor of our time. To paraphrase: "Be nice. Tell her no thanks, but be nice. Don't tip her, but be nice. Be nice... until it's time not to be nice."
May 2016
Jun '17
6
34/1
38/16
1
May 28, 2017
8
Yesterday
After about a year of taking my clubbing game from the amateurs to pros, and now contemplating a break, a bunch of random thoughts about these experiences come to mind. I often joke that I'm only doing this to study the strip club sciences (with a concentration in Bootyology), but in all sincerity there is a social dynamic that takes place there, and it is a work place like any other, and it is as worthy of study as anywhere else (plus it has all those fat asses in it).

1.The first step in this lifestyle, I think is to make the decision to walk up into the strip club alone. Everyone has gone to a strip club with a group of guys, and most guys who travel for business, have made that should I go out to a bar/club for civies vs strip club decision. But taking that step to walk boldly (or sheepishly, it counts too) alone into a strip club in your home town, that is the beginning of moving the dial from the amateur to professional ranks. A sub set of this, is when you next take that walk into the strip club, in your home town, in broad daylight.

2. When you begin to club at multiple places, you begin to notice it - pink and purple neon. Whenever I get close to the club you see it, and for me it's a feeling like, "I'm here". Occasionally, I notice it now at other places and it grabs your attention. Like what's that, is that a club I've never seen before? Oh it's a just an auto body shop. But that pink & purple neon captures your PL mind, like a bat signal.

3. Strippers trying to kiss. It's funny, there definitely is a cadre of dancers out there who will not kiss or get themselves close enough to get kissed by a PL (arguably there are as many PLs who will stay away from a stripper's lips as well). With all that being said, there are a whole lot of strippers that go for the kiss. And even after being rebuffed by the PL will go back to try again.

4. And while I'm speaking of kissing, I conceptually find eating out a dancer while, you are effectively paying for the service of doing so, amazing. It's very egotistical to think of it as a service to them - I doubt any do it because they want to be eaten out but rather, it's just another move in their arsenal of tools/tricks. But nonetheless, paying to essentially service someone else is fascinating (even if she's just doing it, because that is what your nasty PL ass wants to do anyway). Similar to the kissing, they put it in your face, and it's essentially up to the PL to dive right in or reject it like that kiss.

5. I was asked by a dancer (repeatedly) if I was police once, as she tried to sell me extras. Said it over & over like she heard that an officer could deny he was an officer twice, but not seven times.

6. I have what another poster commented as "resting dick face". I look unhappy in the club. I very well may be enjoying myself, my face doesn't show it. Some dancers avoid me because of this. I can't help it. I tend to think that when I see something I like, my face moves from resting dick face to, luring wolf face, which I'd rather not have as well. Who knows what I look like in the club, other than the dancers. And they are professional liars, so who knows that the real answers are.

7. Speaking of professional liars: Fake love. I know its fake love, but it feels good. Everything in there is a lie, it's a fantasy world. I presume that all dancers find me and every other customer in the club disgusting. I presume that most dancers hate their job, like most of us do. But hate it because it's kind of a shitty job, where you often have to do things you don't want to do, with people you don't want to do them with. But nonetheless, because the money (quick cash on the barrelhead) is good, they push through. Imagine, a beautiful woman w/a killer body is good enough at her job to pretend that some fat, ugly loser is turning her on, or that she can fake an erotic performance in close proximity or on him. That is an amazing skill. I find you disgusting, but I'm going to rub every crevasse on my body on you, and let your grubby hands grope my body- and all the while make you feel like you are the king of the world. It's fake love, but fake love feels good. Real love feels good too, but real love will also nag you. Real love will admit there are things which are not on her menu. Real love will fall asleep. Real love wants to talk about that bullshit at her job, which you could give a shit about. Real love doesn't randomly grab your dick. Real love doesn't want to wear all that uncomfortable skimpy shit that you want her to wear. Real love would never put on a pair of clear platform heels. Fake love only asks you if you wanna dance. Fake love doesn't even need to speak the same fucking language as you-because fake love speaks the language that you want to hear. It's all fake love - but fake love feels good.

8. Because I figure they find us all disgusting, I purposefully try to be a little less disgusting. I figure if they can feel a little less disgusted with me, then they can do a little more disgusting things with me. I try to dress nice, always be clean, and try to take care of the little things like a non-stubbly face & clipped finger nails. I don't even know if any of this shit matters, and with most dancers it probably doesn't. But admittedly, I actively try to make what I would imagine would be an uncomfortable situation, less uncomfortable for them. However, while doing this I purposefully plan my wardrobe around achieving the goals above, while also making it the thinnest/softest material possible, because again, I am disgusting.

9. You want to believe stripper shit. As I stated earlier, I presume everything they say is a lie. Not because they necessarily are all lies, but rather everyone is safer if you just take as a given that everything said is a lie. I had a dancer once talk to me in an extended conversation (I'm generally not a conversationalist with dancers), but she decided she was going to sit down & talk and she had a fat ass, so I allowed it. Got a lot of her life story, some of which was boner poison, but we'd had enough of a conversation (and again the big ass), that I decided to get a dance with her. I'm not an aggressive groper in a dance, and prefer the feel of a woman's body rather than grabbing & poking. She decided I was a "nice guy" & was "handsome". A couple of times she gave me light pecks on the neck, not stripper stereotypical kisses, but more like the little nuzzle kisses you'd give your partner as they slept. At the end of the dance, we hugged and I wished her good luck with her studies. Was it all bullshit, certainly may be - while none of it seemed fake, remember above these are some of the world's greatest actresses. But, I want to believe her stripper shit. I want to believe that she is working there in the days, because she is studying nursing at night. I do want to believe that she was going to Cuba next week to see her daughter, and that one day she'll get her nursing degree, bring her daughter up here and have a better life for both of them. And of course, I want to believe that she did think I was handsome, and that in some other place she thinks that I am the type of guy that she'd like to be with. I want to believe all that, but I know all that is as likely to be true, as it is just her rehearsed lines of stripper shit that she used to play the long con and sucker me in to a dance. But she didn't even have to run all that game on me, because she had that big ass. And 15 minutes after those tender moments above, I have disgusting things going on with another dancer, because not everyone is a conversationalist.

10. I love to watch strippers run their game, even when it's annoying. A dancer I've seen a couple of times recently, runs game that I realize would have suckered me in a year ago. She is very pretty, and has a great fake rack. With those attributes she puts on a pouty beggy thing that most guys fall for from women. She is also very aggressive, like the type that will try to pull you up off of your chair towards the lap dance room. Last year this time, if she pulled her shit on me, I would have been dragged off to the room. But because I am more experienced now, I can see through her shit and see that she is the classic overpromise-underperform dancer. But nonetheless I love to watch/her her spit her game. I find my interactions with her thrilling, and I love when she tries to hustle me. I find the feeling of her spitting unadulterated stripper shit and techniques on me thrilling. It's a very ethereal moment, of being there like wow this girl is just working me. Even with all that, because I'm simple, and even though I've figured out her game, if she had a big ass, I probably would have gone back for a dance. But even more so I'm impressed by the dancers who gradually work their way in, and I appreciate the art and skill of it. Somebody who was not on my dance agenda, who through her techniques or stripper shit, somehow works her way in. Because I'm not there for the conversation, unless I'm already going gaga for you, I'm not a talker. You have to work & draw it out of me. And because I don't really care about the conversation, I can pull myself out to that ethereal place and watch the techniques and game as she gradually pulls me in to getting a dance. It is a skill, and I can just appreciate when someone does it well. Remember, I'm the guy with resting dick face, who is not into conversation. If you have me 1. talking, 2. smiling, and 3. having a flirty back and forth with you, then pat yourself on the back, because you have won. Now take my money.

But simply, I love the hustler in them. Yeah some are ROBs but, they're all hustlers, and even if it is me that they are trying to hustle, I just love the game. And also, I love strippers. I love all of them, not just their tits & ass, I love the feel of their hips, of their backs, their thighs, calves and even occasionally their feet. I love the c-section scars, and the less than taut stomachs they try to hide by wearing the one piece. I just love them. Even the ones, I don't want to get dances from, the ones who's bodies I don't like, the one's to have terrible raps, the one's who don't take the hint that I'm not interested, the one I'm not interested in who's cock-blocking me when the one I'm interested in walks by, the ones wearing the terrible shoes, or the ones wearing the footy socks in the shoes because they're so uncomfortable, or they blister, the ones who lazily don't take their tops off, or just push their bits out enough w/o removing the top. I even like the one who offered me extras, and then shook her but in front of me where there was a sterotypically fishy smell from her vagina. I love them, flaws, ROBs, fucked up backgrounds and all. Except the one who suckered me into dances that I really was not interested in, only to find out that she obviously just took a huge shit, didn't effectively wipe and her ass smelled strongly of ass, in the least sensual sense of the term. Nope, here I don't love. fuck her

11. Waiving them off, Blowing them off. While dancers have their games that they throw at us, PLs have games too. Like I have no interest in what's coming towards me, let me look in the opposite direction, at my phone, cross my arms, close my legs, slide further under the table, suddenly become real interested in this random baseball game with no sound. Some get waived off because you are not, and will not be interested. Some get waived off, because as the splash page says "we just got here, come back a little later". Brushing off a dancer, while keeping her in your list of maybes, because you haven't fully surveyed the talent yet, or because she is further down on your target list, is a bit of a skill. Come back later, come back after I finish my drink, not now but maybe later, etc. One thing I'll do with a "eh, maybe" is give her a time appointment. I figure in 20 minutes, I'll have seen everything out there and made my decision. So in 20 minutes, I'll either be occupied with my hit list, or open to the "maybe" dancer. I'm not one to play games with dancers, but I do pay attention to the time, if I give them an appointment. It rarely happens, but when the punctual stripper presents herself, I'm always impressed. Punctuality is really one of the least important stills in a dancer, but in a push it may just be the added factor to push you over the top on the dance or no dance decision.

12. Occasionally I'll see a dancer that kind of reminds me of an old girlfriend or some girl I liked. Even if you now hate the ex-girlfriend, there is something about that dancer. She doesn't know it, but she has a leg up on the competition.

13. There is a weird feeling when you enter the club. It really is a different world. A minute ago, I was outside stuck in traffic. Now, I'm in a place where it is OK to lustfully look at women, where women walk around damn near half naked (and get fully naked), where grabbing your dick is as common as a hand shake, where it's never day time, even when its day time; where women wear thong bikinis in winter, where clear platform heels are not just acceptable, they are the norm, where girls who you feel would never approach you in real life, do a hell of a lot more than just approach you. And somehow all of these things that run contrary to everything outside of that dark door, consistently/repeatedly exist within this space. You spend your time in this world, for as long as your allowable time and/or money can take you. Then you walk back outside. Sometimes into the daylight, that didn't exist inside. Back out into the real world, with its real traffic, cold stares, nagging girlfriends or wives, soft music, the lack of pink/purple neon, and women in clothing for their pleasure/comfort, not yours. Away from the fake love, and back out into the real world.

But fake love feels good, where the real world often does not.
Nov 2004
Jun '17
10
30/4
287/243
6
May 7, 2017
8
June 13, 2017
Here's how this works. Your fellow TUSCLers put together a nominee list of 85 songs that will be cut down to a list of finalists for discussion in the forums. 5 songs will get picked from there. The Strip Club Music HOF discussion thread is here at www.tuscl.net.

Process: Anyone who is a TUSCL member can weigh in on the cutdown to the 10-20 finalists. The way to vote is to submit a list of up to 10 songs from the list below in order of your #1 out to a #10. Your list can be posted on this article, in the discussion thread, or PM'd to wallanon by Sunday, May 21st. The finalists will then get posted back to the discussion thread. If your fav song didn't get nominated, there's always next time.

Nom #, Name of Song, Artist
1, "sex metal barbie", in this moment
2, "pornstar dancing", my darkest days
3, "walk", pantera
4, "super massive black hole", muse
5, "black rose immortal", opeth
6, "girls girls girls", motley crue
7, "pour some sugar on me", def leppard
8, "The Stripper", David Rose & His Orchestra
9, "You Shook Me All Night Long", AC/DC
10, "Thong Song", Sisqo
11, "I'm 'n Luv (Wit a Stripper)", T-Pain feat. Mike Jones
12, "Get Ready For This", 2 Unlimited
13, "Baby Got Back", Sir Mix-A-Lot
14, "Harlem Shake", Baauer
15, "Cherry Pie", Warrant
16, "Seventeen", Winger
17, "No More Tears", Ozzy Osbourne
18, "Stranglehold", Ted Nugent
19, "Running With The Devil", Van Halen
20, "Bad Girlfriend", Theory of a Deadman
21, "Lollipop", Lil Wayne
22, "slip of the lip", Ratt
23, "my lust your fate", burning rain
24, "Low", Flo Rida
25, "Hey Nineteen", Steely Dan
26, "Stroke", Billy Squires
27, "Armageddon It", Def Lepard
28, "Tila In The House", Midnight Leftovers
29, "Gold Digger", Kanye West
30, "Photograph", Def Leppard
31, "Ain't No Fun", Snoop Dogg
32, "She Will", Lil Wayne and Drake
33, "Fresh From Head 2 Toe", Billy Blue
34, "Turn On The Lights", Future
35, "Panda", Desiigner
36, "Trap Queen", Fetty Wap
37, "Next Contestant", Nickelback
38, "Golddigger", Armin van Buuren
39, "Bolero", Ravel
40, "Say It Right", Nelly Furtado
41, "My Girlfriend is a Dancer (Titty Dancer)", Dan Diamond
42, "Pony", Ginuwine
43, "The Sex is Great", Saving Abel
44, "lick it up", Kiss
45, "dance the night away", Van Halen
46, "everybody wants some", Van Halen
47, "girl gets around", Sammy Hagar
48, "legs", ZZ Top
49, "tube snake boogie", ZZ Top
50, "karn evil 9 1st impression part 2", Emerson lake and Palmer
51, "Closer", Nine Inch Nails
52, "Rock Candy", Montrose
53, "Bandz make her dance", Juicy J
54, "Feeling Love", Paula Cole
55, "Can't You Hear Me Knocking", Rolling Stones
56, "Hot Legs", Rod Stewart
57, "Drop Dead Legs", Van Halen
58, "Desire", Meg Myers
59, "The Way You Move", OutKast
60, "Beautiful People", Marilyn Manson
61, "Shakin Hands", Nickelback
62, "You Can Leave Your Hat On", Joe Cocker
63, "Take it Off", Kiss
64, "Free Bird", Lynard Skynard
65, "Get Low", Lil Jon
66, "Dirrty", Christina Aguilera
67, "Crazy Bitch", Buckcherry
68, "American Woman", Lenny Kravitz
69, "Rock You Like a Hurricane", Scorpions
70, "You Can't Touch This", MC Hammer
71, "In the Night", The Weeknd
72, "Something in Your Mouth", Nickelback
73, "Unskinny Bop", Poison
74, "Rockstar", Nickelback
75, "Milkshake", Kelis
76, "Shakin'", Eddie Money
77, "Hair of the Dog", Nazareth
78, "Paradise City", Guns & Roses
79, "Bad Medicine", Bon Jovi
80, "I Hate Myself for Loving You", Joan Jett
81, "Darlin Nikki", Prince
82, "Hells Bells", AC/DC
83, "Oh Yeah", Yello
84, "Pump up the jam", Technotronic
85, "Personal Jesus", Depeche Mode