The Ultimate Strip Club List Articles

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May 2016
May '17
17 Hours Ago
1 Hour Ago
After about a year of taking my clubbing game from the amateurs to pros, and now contemplating a break, a bunch of random thoughts about these experiences come to mind. I often joke that I'm only doing this to study the strip club sciences (with a concentration in Bootyology), but in all sincerity there is a social dynamic that takes place there, and it is a work place like any other, and it is as worthy of study as anywhere else (plus it has all those fat asses in it).

1.The first step in this lifestyle, I think is to make the decision to walk up into the strip club alone. Everyone has gone to a strip club with a group of guys, and most guys who travel for business, have made that should I go out to a bar/club for civies vs strip club decision. But taking that step to walk boldly (or sheepishly, it counts too) alone into a strip club in your home town, that is the beginning of moving the dial from the amateur to professional ranks. A sub set of this, is when you next take that walk into the strip club, in your home town, in broad daylight.

2. When you begin to club at multiple places, you begin to notice it - pink and purple neon. Whenever I get close to the club you see it, and for me it's a feeling like, "I'm here". Occasionally, I notice it now at other places and it grabs your attention. Like what's that, is that a club I've never seen before? Oh it's a just an auto body shop. But that pink & purple neon captures your PL mind, like a bat signal.

3. Strippers trying to kiss. It's funny, there definitely is a cadre of dancers out there who will not kiss or get themselves close enough to get kissed by a PL (arguably there are as many PLs who will stay away from a stripper's lips as well). With all that being said, there are a whole lot of strippers that go for the kiss. And even after being rebuffed by the PL will go back to try again.

4. And while I'm speaking of kissing, I conceptually find eating out a dancer while, you are effectively paying for the service of doing so, amazing. It's very egotistical to think of it as a service to them - I doubt any do it because they want to be eaten out but rather, it's just another move in their arsenal of tools/tricks. But nonetheless, paying to essentially service someone else is fascinating (even if she's just doing it, because that is what your nasty PL ass wants to do anyway). Similar to the kissing, they put it in your face, and it's essentially up to the PL to dive right in or reject it like that kiss.

5. I was asked by a dancer (repeatedly) if I was police once, as she tried to sell me extras. Said it over & over like she heard that an officer could deny he was an officer twice, but not seven times.

6. I have what another poster commented as "resting dick face". I look unhappy in the club. I very well may be enjoying myself, my face doesn't show it. Some dancers avoid me because of this. I can't help it. I tend to think that when I see something I like, my face moves from resting dick face to, luring wolf face, which I'd rather not have as well. Who knows what I look like in the club, other than the dancers. And they are professional liars, so who knows that the real answers are.

7. Speaking of professional liars: Fake love. I know its fake love, but it feels good. Everything in there is a lie, it's a fantasy world. I presume that all dancers find me and every other customer in the club disgusting. I presume that most dancers hate their job, like most of us do. But hate it because it's kind of a shitty job, where you often have to do things you don't want to do, with people you don't want to do them with. But nonetheless, because the money (quick cash on the barrelhead) is good, they push through. Imagine, a beautiful woman w/a killer body is good enough at her job to pretend that some fat, ugly loser is turning her on, or that she can fake an erotic performance in close proximity or on him. That is an amazing skill. I find you disgusting, but I'm going to rub every crevasse on my body on you, and let your grubby hands grope my body- and all the while make you feel like you are the king of the world. It's fake love, but fake love feels good. Real love feels good too, but real love will also nag you. Real love will admit there are things which are not on her menu. Real love will fall asleep. Real love wants to talk about that bullshit at her job, which you could give a shit about. Real love doesn't randomly grab your dick. Real love doesn't want to wear all that uncomfortable skimpy shit that you want her to wear. Real love would never put on a pair of clear platform heels. Fake love only asks you if you wanna dance. Fake love doesn't even need to speak the same fucking language as you-because fake love speaks the language that you want to hear. It's all fake love - but fake love feels good.

8. Because I figure they find us all disgusting, I purposefully try to be a little less disgusting. I figure if they can feel a little less disgusted with me, then they can do a little more disgusting things with me. I try to dress nice, always be clean, and try to take care of the little things like a non-stubbly face & clipped finger nails. I don't even know if any of this shit matters, and with most dancers it probably doesn't. But admittedly, I actively try to make what I would imagine would be an uncomfortable situation, less uncomfortable for them. However, while doing this I purposefully plan my wardrobe around achieving the goals above, while also making it the thinnest/softest material possible, because again, I am disgusting.

9. You want to believe stripper shit. As I stated earlier, I presume everything they say is a lie. Not because they necessarily are all lies, but rather everyone is safer if you just take as a given that everything said is a lie. I had a dancer once talk to me in an extended conversation (I'm generally not a conversationalist with dancers), but she decided she was going to sit down & talk and she had a fat ass, so I allowed it. Got a lot of her life story, some of which was boner poison, but we'd had enough of a conversation (and again the big ass), that I decided to get a dance with her. I'm not an aggressive groper in a dance, and prefer the feel of a woman's body rather than grabbing & poking. She decided I was a "nice guy" & was "handsome". A couple of times she gave me light pecks on the neck, not stripper stereotypical kisses, but more like the little nuzzle kisses you'd give your partner as they slept. At the end of the dance, we hugged and I wished her good luck with her studies. Was it all bullshit, certainly may be - while none of it seemed fake, remember above these are some of the world's greatest actresses. But, I want to believe her stripper shit. I want to believe that she is working there in the days, because she is studying nursing at night. I do want to believe that she was going to Cuba next week to see her daughter, and that one day she'll get her nursing degree, bring her daughter up here and have a better life for both of them. And of course, I want to believe that she did think I was handsome, and that in some other place she thinks that I am the type of guy that she'd like to be with. I want to believe all that, but I know all that is as likely to be true, as it is just her rehearsed lines of stripper shit that she used to play the long con and sucker me in to a dance. But she didn't even have to run all that game on me, because she had that big ass. And 15 minutes after those tender moments above, I have disgusting things going on with another dancer, because not everyone is a conversationalist.

10. I love to watch strippers run their game, even when it's annoying. A dancer I've seen a couple of times recently, runs game that I realize would have suckered me in a year ago. She is very pretty, and has a great fake rack. With those attributes she puts on a pouty beggy thing that most guys fall for from women. She is also very aggressive, like the type that will try to pull you up off of your chair towards the lap dance room. Last year this time, if she pulled her shit on me, I would have been dragged off to the room. But because I am more experienced now, I can see through her shit and see that she is the classic overpromise-underperform dancer. But nonetheless I love to watch/her her spit her game. I find my interactions with her thrilling, and I love when she tries to hustle me. I find the feeling of her spitting unadulterated stripper shit and techniques on me thrilling. It's a very ethereal moment, of being there like wow this girl is just working me. Even with all that, because I'm simple, and even though I've figured out her game, if she had a big ass, I probably would have gone back for a dance. But even more so I'm impressed by the dancers who gradually work their way in, and I appreciate the art and skill of it. Somebody who was not on my dance agenda, who through her techniques or stripper shit, somehow works her way in. Because I'm not there for the conversation, unless I'm already going gaga for you, I'm not a talker. You have to work & draw it out of me. And because I don't really care about the conversation, I can pull myself out to that ethereal place and watch the techniques and game as she gradually pulls me in to getting a dance. It is a skill, and I can just appreciate when someone does it well. Remember, I'm the guy with resting dick face, who is not into conversation. If you have me 1. talking, 2. smiling, and 3. having a flirty back and forth with you, then pat yourself on the back, because you have won. Now take my money.

But simply, I love the hustler in them. Yeah some are ROBs but, they're all hustlers, and even if it is me that they are trying to hustle, I just love the game. And also, I love strippers. I love all of them, not just their tits & ass, I love the feel of their hips, of their backs, their thighs, calves and even occasionally their feet. I love the c-section scars, and the less than taut stomachs they try to hide by wearing the one piece. I just love them. Even the ones, I don't want to get dances from, the ones who's bodies I don't like, the one's to have terrible raps, the one's who don't take the hint that I'm not interested, the one I'm not interested in who's cock-blocking me when the one I'm interested in walks by, the ones wearing the terrible shoes, or the ones wearing the footy socks in the shoes because they're so uncomfortable, or they blister, the ones who lazily don't take their tops off, or just push their bits out enough w/o removing the top. I even like the one who offered me extras, and then shook her but in front of me where there was a sterotypically fishy smell from her vagina. I love them, flaws, ROBs, fucked up backgrounds and all. Except the one who suckered me into dances that I really was not interested in, only to find out that she obviously just took a huge shit, didn't effectively wipe and her ass smelled strongly of ass, in the least sensual sense of the term. Nope, here I don't love. fuck her

11. Waiving them off, Blowing them off. While dancers have their games that they throw at us, PLs have games too. Like I have no interest in what's coming towards me, let me look in the opposite direction, at my phone, cross my arms, close my legs, slide further under the table, suddenly become real interested in this random baseball game with no sound. Some get waived off because you are not, and will not be interested. Some get waived off, because as the splash page says "we just got here, come back a little later". Brushing off a dancer, while keeping her in your list of maybes, because you haven't fully surveyed the talent yet, or because she is further down on your target list, is a bit of a skill. Come back later, come back after I finish my drink, not now but maybe later, etc. One thing I'll do with a "eh, maybe" is give her a time appointment. I figure in 20 minutes, I'll have seen everything out there and made my decision. So in 20 minutes, I'll either be occupied with my hit list, or open to the "maybe" dancer. I'm not one to play games with dancers, but I do pay attention to the time, if I give them an appointment. It rarely happens, but when the punctual stripper presents herself, I'm always impressed. Punctuality is really one of the least important stills in a dancer, but in a push it may just be the added factor to push you over the top on the dance or no dance decision.

12. Occasionally I'll see a dancer that kind of reminds me of an old girlfriend or some girl I liked. Even if you now hate the ex-girlfriend, there is something about that dancer. She doesn't know it, but she has a leg up on the competition.

13. There is a weird feeling when you enter the club. It really is a different world. A minute ago, I was outside stuck in traffic. Now, I'm in a place where it is OK to lustfully look at women, where women walk around damn near half naked (and get fully naked), where grabbing your dick is as common as a hand shake, where it's never day time, even when its day time; where women wear thong bikinis in winter, where clear platform heels are not just acceptable, they are the norm, where girls who you feel would never approach you in real life, do a hell of a lot more than just approach you. And somehow all of these things that run contrary to everything outside of that dark door, consistently/repeatedly exist within this space. You spend your time in this world, for as long as your allowable time and/or money can take you. Then you walk back outside. Sometimes into the daylight, that didn't exist inside. Back out into the real world, with its real traffic, cold stares, nagging girlfriends or wives, soft music, the lack of pink/purple neon, and women in clothing for their pleasure/comfort, not yours. Away from the fake love, and back out into the real world.

But fake love feels good, where the real world often does not.
Sep 2013
May '17
17 Hours Ago
2 Hours Ago
When I take a new guy to a Strip Club with me, I always give him some standard advice. None of this is meant to be a lecture or to imply I have a better way of doing things than you do -- a lot of you tuscl guys have your own styles and ways of doing things, that work better for you than anything I can advise. But for brand new guys, some "here's how to act" can really increase their fun at the club. So, without further ado, here are my "rules", and the general speech the new guys get on the way to the club:

1. Don't be an asshole
2. Don't be a little bitch

That's it! You're welcome. Thanks for the VIP, founder!

What's that you say? You'd like me to elaborate a little? Well sure, if you insist! Let's start off with the easy one first:

**** Don't Be an Asshole ****

Amazing how some guys go full retard when they get to the strip club. I find the best way to act is to boot up in "behave like an adult, and remember the strippers are people, treat them that way".

- If she comes over to you, and you're not interested, don't string her along ... this is her job, time is money for her. Assholes waste strippers' time.

- If you call her over, she hangs out with you for 20 minutes, and after that 20 minutes, you decide you don't really want to get dancers from her anymore, slip her a $10 or $20 before you send her on her way.

- Every club will have some standard of expected touching, but if you go beyond that, seek consent. I personally advise seeking explicit verbal consent, but some guys prefer implicit consent -- that is, they move their hand very slowly towards ground zero, giving her plenty of time to intercept and move it away; if she doesn't, they assume she's okay with it. Not my style but whatever.

- If a girl comes over to you and you don't want a dance from her, don't wave your hand and turn away, as if she's a piece of shit. 20 seconds of conversation before you decline won't kill you.

- Don't get too personal with your questions. I know many guys do this by accident ... they just get caught up in the nightclub atmosphere, and as with a "civilian", start asking personal questions about where she lives, etc. This is NOT a nightclub, she is NOT a dating prospect, and personal questions aren't just annoying, they are a matter of serious personal safety for her. Have fun but don't lose the plot ... she's a stripper, she has every reason to stay anonymous, stay away from asking her compromising questions.

**** Don't be a Little Bitch ****

This one seems to be a little more difficult to follow. My definition of a little bitch is: if you are intimidated by a 22 year old girl in her underwear, you're a little bitch. The girls can smell weakness, and once they can tell you're a little bitch, you can be in for some rough, trip-ruining treatment. So, here's some ways to be a little bitch, or more importantly, how to avoid it.

- If a stripper comes over to you and you don't want a dance, here's the best thing to say. "No thanks, but thank you anyway". You don't owe her an explanation. You don't need to be passive-aggressive ("maybe later"), you don't need to invent excuses ("I'm waiting for someone", "I'm out of money"). It's not that those excuses don't "work", in the sense that they will lead to the desired effect in that the dancer will go away. But, two problems: 1. Being passive aggressive or so intimidated you need to lie to her, puts you in a defensive little-bitch mindset from the start. "No thanks" is what confident people say. People who are scared make up excuses. A bold, in-control mindset really does impact how you think and how you're perceived by others. 2. The girls KNOW that you're lying about waiting for someone or that "maybe later" means you're too scared to say "no". And among the more sadistic ones, that's their cue to turn on the high hustle -- and this can lead to some really unpleasant interactions.

- Speaking of unpleasant interactions, a common one is: You say "maybe later", she starts asking you questions "Why not?", you answer, she asks you more questions ("don't you like black girls?" "why are you here if you don't like dances?") all meant to either 1. strong-arm you into getting more dances, or 2. humiliate you so she can feel better about herself. I don't even sit there and meekly answer her questions and let her dictate the conversation -- this pattern by the girls is ALWAYS aggression. Often, I'll simply shut it down -- repeat "no thanks" without answering the question, etc. Sometimes, I'll engage her in conversation, but here's my rule: I NEVER answer any of her questions, instead I turn it around and she can answer mine. (Her: Am I not your type? Me: What do you think? Who do you think my type is?)... the more aggressive girls realize what I'm doing and walk away; the less aggressive girls will sit there and meekly answer my questions for a while, and if I think she's fun, well now I have a new friend. But sitting there and playing into her game, answering question after question from a girl you're not interested in, is being a little bitch.

- You don't have to tip. I tip, without being asked, for EXTRAORDINARY service. If a stripper asks for a tip and I don't want to tip her, my usual response: "Sorry I don't tip" I say it respectfully, but with eye contact -- I feel I don't owe her any more explanation. Sometimes, if I'm feeling magnanimous, I'll add in, "Sorry, I don't tip, but show my appreciation by buying more dances, I'll let you know if I'm up for that". That's it. A lot of the passive aggressive guys have policies like, "if she asks for a tip, I'll tip her... but then I'll never do dances with her again!" By now, you know the view of I have of that -- it is the living embodiment of being a little bitch. You're so scared of her you're rewarding her when you didn't think she deserved it, and then somehow think she's going to realize that you're avoiding her because of it?

- Exact same advice for tipping, goes for buying drinks. I personally think buying drinks and food for the girls is easily the best deal in the strip club, but if it's not your thing, any pressure you put on yourself about "looking bad because I'm not buying her a drink" is just your inner bitch speaking.

**** Conclusions****

Through all of this, I think it's important to stay respectful, smiling, relaxed, and in control. Do so, and you'll be respected and treated how you'd like, and far less likely to run into trip-killing negative experiences. Some of the girls are bat-shit crazy and will go off on you no matter what you do. But in general, if you're neither an asshole nor a little bitch, this maximizes your chances of fun interactions and minimizes the chances of the really horrible ones that leave a bad taste in your mouth. And remember the advice of the greatest actor of our time. To paraphrase: "Be nice. Tell her no thanks, but be nice. Don't tip her, but be nice. Be nice... until it's time not to be nice."
Apr 2017
May '17
17 Hours Ago
4 Hours Ago
Ok, Ok. The title is a little misleading.I have only been without testicles for a year now, but I was down to one testicle for about 16 years. When I was 16 years old I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.The 1st step in treating testicular cancer, is to remove the testicle. Well, actually they can't even confirm it is cancer until the testicle is removed and they can do a biopsy. At that time, I also went through Chemo and the whole 9 yards.Fast forward to last year and I feel a lump in my remaining testicle. They tried to only remove 1/2 of it to leave me with something but that didn't turn out so well and they had to remove the whole thing. Again, I went through chemo but much more intense this time. If you would like me to write an article about that whole experience, I will be happy to. But i am just laying down the background for where I am at now.

So living most of my post pubescent life with only 1 testicle made me very self conscious.My personality was always a bit more reserved but with only 1 testicle, made me scared shitless to approach women in a sexual way. I am now 32 and I have never hooked up, never dated, never even drunkenly made out. Now I know what most of you must be thinking right now "his lack of game has nothing to do with his balls or the lack there of. He is probably some ugly ass socially backward star trek nerd." I will be the 1st to admit that I am no Adonis, but I am also not bad to look upon. I am also a bit awkward but more in the we will laugh about this later. And my source for my appeal is not simply because my mother says I how handsome I am. There have been a few very attractive women who either told me directly or I found out from 3rd party source, that had crushes on me and was wishing I made a move. One I found out as she was moving out of state, another was an employee and I am not going to risk my career over that, and the third although attractive had some serious baggage. Now do I agree that if I would grow some theoretical balls, the lack of physical balls wouldn't be an issue, Absolutely! And now I am mentally ok with not having any balls but the fear I have now is that I am 32 and have never had sex, hell I have never even madeout before. I am sure you all can recall your 1st times and how awkward that was. As a teenager that awkwardness is ok because it is probably one of her 1st times too.As a 32 year old, it is very unlikely it will be hers too.

So I am afraid of being the real life version of the movie "40 year old virgin" So I have come up with a plan to get some of this early awkwardness out of the way and to become more comfortable with the sexual side of things.

Step1: go to strip clubs. Get comfortable around a naked woman. Talk to women when they are being paid to pretend you are interesting. This can be kinda a confidence booster. Then of course get comfortable touching, squeezing, and slapping a naked woman. Maybe even get some extras to get use to a woman touching you. Although the 1st time i went last week there was no extras to be found or I am not good/smart enough to know how to get them.

Step 2: Get on Tinder. This is suppose to be a dating app where the main go is just hooking up.So this way I am getting there really clumsy 1st times out of the way with people I wouldn't normally interact with on a daily basis.The thing with this is that I won't be able to put up an actual pic of myself because I have employees that use this app and I am in a big company and I am in a position in this company that I really don't need that spread around. So I was thinking about making the profile pics be a bunch of pics of pairs of balls. like a pair of tennis balls, a pair of golf balls, or a pair of bowling balls. i would make this profile very much about me not having any balls since that is not a well known thing at work and woman would be curious. For example does anything come out when he orgasms? And there is only 1 way to find that out. Then maybe a few will give me some sympathy lays, I'm not too proud for that.

Step 3: Start meeting woman in real life. Go on date with woman I would actually want to have a relationship with and not be worried that I would be a huge disappointment in bed.

Well that is the plan I have made. Feel free to comment how idiotic it is. Or if you have some advice to improve the plan or if you have a better plan, I am all ears.
Nov 2004
May '17
May 7, 2017
May 23, 2017
Here's how this works. Your fellow TUSCLers put together a nominee list of 85 songs that will be cut down to a list of finalists for discussion in the forums. 5 songs will get picked from there. The Strip Club Music HOF discussion thread is here at

Process: Anyone who is a TUSCL member can weigh in on the cutdown to the 10-20 finalists. The way to vote is to submit a list of up to 10 songs from the list below in order of your #1 out to a #10. Your list can be posted on this article, in the discussion thread, or PM'd to wallanon by Sunday, May 21st. The finalists will then get posted back to the discussion thread. If your fav song didn't get nominated, there's always next time.

Nom #, Name of Song, Artist
1, "sex metal barbie", in this moment
2, "pornstar dancing", my darkest days
3, "walk", pantera
4, "super massive black hole", muse
5, "black rose immortal", opeth
6, "girls girls girls", motley crue
7, "pour some sugar on me", def leppard
8, "The Stripper", David Rose & His Orchestra
9, "You Shook Me All Night Long", AC/DC
10, "Thong Song", Sisqo
11, "I'm 'n Luv (Wit a Stripper)", T-Pain feat. Mike Jones
12, "Get Ready For This", 2 Unlimited
13, "Baby Got Back", Sir Mix-A-Lot
14, "Harlem Shake", Baauer
15, "Cherry Pie", Warrant
16, "Seventeen", Winger
17, "No More Tears", Ozzy Osbourne
18, "Stranglehold", Ted Nugent
19, "Running With The Devil", Van Halen
20, "Bad Girlfriend", Theory of a Deadman
21, "Lollipop", Lil Wayne
22, "slip of the lip", Ratt
23, "my lust your fate", burning rain
24, "Low", Flo Rida
25, "Hey Nineteen", Steely Dan
26, "Stroke", Billy Squires
27, "Armageddon It", Def Lepard
28, "Tila In The House", Midnight Leftovers
29, "Gold Digger", Kanye West
30, "Photograph", Def Leppard
31, "Ain't No Fun", Snoop Dogg
32, "She Will", Lil Wayne and Drake
33, "Fresh From Head 2 Toe", Billy Blue
34, "Turn On The Lights", Future
35, "Panda", Desiigner
36, "Trap Queen", Fetty Wap
37, "Next Contestant", Nickelback
38, "Golddigger", Armin van Buuren
39, "Bolero", Ravel
40, "Say It Right", Nelly Furtado
41, "My Girlfriend is a Dancer (Titty Dancer)", Dan Diamond
42, "Pony", Ginuwine
43, "The Sex is Great", Saving Abel
44, "lick it up", Kiss
45, "dance the night away", Van Halen
46, "everybody wants some", Van Halen
47, "girl gets around", Sammy Hagar
48, "legs", ZZ Top
49, "tube snake boogie", ZZ Top
50, "karn evil 9 1st impression part 2", Emerson lake and Palmer
51, "Closer", Nine Inch Nails
52, "Rock Candy", Montrose
53, "Bandz make her dance", Juicy J
54, "Feeling Love", Paula Cole
55, "Can't You Hear Me Knocking", Rolling Stones
56, "Hot Legs", Rod Stewart
57, "Drop Dead Legs", Van Halen
58, "Desire", Meg Myers
59, "The Way You Move", OutKast
60, "Beautiful People", Marilyn Manson
61, "Shakin Hands", Nickelback
62, "You Can Leave Your Hat On", Joe Cocker
63, "Take it Off", Kiss
64, "Free Bird", Lynard Skynard
65, "Get Low", Lil Jon
66, "Dirrty", Christina Aguilera
67, "Crazy Bitch", Buckcherry
68, "American Woman", Lenny Kravitz
69, "Rock You Like a Hurricane", Scorpions
70, "You Can't Touch This", MC Hammer
71, "In the Night", The Weeknd
72, "Something in Your Mouth", Nickelback
73, "Unskinny Bop", Poison
74, "Rockstar", Nickelback
75, "Milkshake", Kelis
76, "Shakin'", Eddie Money
77, "Hair of the Dog", Nazareth
78, "Paradise City", Guns & Roses
79, "Bad Medicine", Bon Jovi
80, "I Hate Myself for Loving You", Joan Jett
81, "Darlin Nikki", Prince
82, "Hells Bells", AC/DC
83, "Oh Yeah", Yello
84, "Pump up the jam", Technotronic
85, "Personal Jesus", Depeche Mode
Jun 2012
May '17
May 3, 2017
May 19, 2017
So first and foremost, just because it's a black oriented club doesn't mean it is a dive. Second, the only reason why it's called a "Black" club is because of the stereotype that only black men like big booty girls or "thick" women and being that they mostly hire big booty black chicks must mean only black people are meant for the club. That is based on prejudice views that hold no weight. Unfortunately strip club owners make a killing off it so they're not going to bother fighting the stereotype. But if your a tweedy little white adult that like big butts and cannot lie, your more than welcome to the party. Believe or not, they have women of many shape, size and ethnicity.

So unlike one of those high brow"Gentleman's Club", jeans are perfectly acceptable and expected. Come in with a suit looking like you came out of a business meeting, you best hope you are the best looking amongst a sea of bums because the name guy walking through that door with a big gaudy chain on will be quick to take your stripper if he wants to. Not to say all the gaudy chain wearers get the best looking dancers but you just look too out of place and may come off as high nosed and better than thou which no dancer wants to deal with. Your better off with Ed hardy shirt rather than a suit.

To continue the subject, your appearance matters. Contrary to popular belief, unlike your standard clubs, unless you make your presence known or are a serious regular, fat old guys are not the most sought after here. Those that look the coolest can have the best time. I know I just said don't wear a suit, but that doesn't also mean come with a stained T-shirt and super baggy jeans. You have to keep up with the trend or be good looking enough to have your clothes acceptable. Not to say no girl will not give you a dance, but the man with the designer belt and nice watch will do better. Unfair, absolutely but in black clubs there's an odd balance between acceptable and peacocking. Of course muscles and nice abs trumps all but the audimar or the Rolex watch.

Why, because here girls actually do like to have fun. And they have even more fun with a good looking guy. And a young guy. That's right young bucks. Due to stereotypes the young buck walking into this is EXPECTED to have money. And your also expected to be at least marginally good looking. Most other clubs, the young buck may have to work harder but not here. But this also means your held to a higher standard. So good luck with that. At the very least get your shoe game up. Ain't nothing worse for a young brother in these black clubs than having goofy shoes. I remember on a Saturday where there was a line to get in the club, a guy actually got turned away because his Jordans were busted. And this ain't your white collar type strip club either. I was shocked and nervous because I was wearing Levi kicks, but thankfully they were clean. It was also getting pretty packed so that was a thing. Never seen that in a strip club before but hey you learn something new every day.

I shouldn't have to tell you this but booty bouncing is a regular thing here so if you expect less booty shaking and more erotic dancing, your in the wrong club. And prepare to also start your time with a dancer by standing and getting danced on (ass first). In most black clubs however, your just tipping for as long as she dances on you in that position and not the 3-minute payment plan. I have yet to do vip, but depending on location, it can be the same as your regular strip club.

Which moves into our next topic which we love and hate: stage tipping. Don't do. Simple as that. I don't care how cool you want to look in front of the boys because that's all your doing. Fronting for the boys! Do you like boys? No you like women!? Phew me too, got me you got me worried. Making it rain only works for the coolest of people or nobodies that wants to be cool. If you ain't Drake, your not getting pussy stage rain. Just stick to offstage tipping if you must. Otherwise women expect more than just your 20 singles.

Lastly, everyone is there to have a good time. Don't be acting all tough just because a bunch of big strong black men are throwing around their weight and money. And don't be scared just because you may the only white guy or Indian guy in the club. Just smell nice, dress nice (wear chino's if it makes you feel better) and enjoy the company of bootyful women.

I'm sure I forgot a couple things, so if you have any suggestions or questions leave them down below.
Aug 2002
May '17
April 23, 2017
April 30, 2017
Over the years I have become friendly enough with talent that I've talked to them about the workplace and I thought it would be useful to describe the deals that strippers have with management. Girls that work in clubs, please chime in and elaborate on this.

Nice looking girls who are comfortable being naked and can dance can easily gain employment at clubs except that it isn't considered employment by the club. They are termed independent contractors and, in fact, pay to work there. At one local institution, the girls pay the least if they show up at 3 pm. Every hour after that costs them more to clock in. There is no hourly pay. They keep all their stage tips and floor dance money. However, any time they use a room, they are paying out about 40% to management. Management therefore knows the 60% of VIP costs collected and reports those to IRS and state tax office. This is why girls are always asking for tips. Tips, drinks and OTC are not reported.

There are a lot of people the girls are expected to tip including the DJ, the house Mom (and/or Dad), the floor managers who seat customers, the guys who park cars. Some of these people help the girls, especially at closing time. Others can be pricks. Some of the guys have to dress nice but also don't really get paid by the house.

The dressing thing is pretty interesting. Obviously, we like strippers to look hot and they can't make money if they don't look hot. However, there are a number of rules at clubs that are at the whim of management. Management can specify that particular too much (legal issues) or too little. More of a problem are the shoes. Despite the fact that a girl can look sensational in flats or barefoot and may have knee or foot injuries, she's unlikely going to be able to work without really high heels.

Management puts up signs that say no touching this or that. Obviously, this is to leave the girls holding the bag if there is a bust. The management will claim that they thought they were an air dance establishment and the girl must have been a slut or a hooker.

Whether considered employees or contractors, strippers should be able to obtain health insurance through the affordable care act. Their major tax issue as contractors is that they have to pay self employment tax if they don't have sufficient clothing or gas expenses to offset reported income. Again, this reinforces the non reported piece of stripper income, which is not as likely to be in large bills because it is outside of VIP or is tipped on top of VIP. I would be interested to know whether strippers who have unionized as employees have made shoes an issue or have stuck to the typical issues of compensation. Also, what is the correlation between stripper-friendly workplaces and customer satisfaction?
Jul 2015
May '17
April 23, 2017
May 14, 2017
Interesting start to an article, I know. I have discovered how to be invisible at a strip club. It's an amazing sensation, sitting, staring at beautiful women sauntering past. One by one, they pass by. Sometimes looking forward, as if they have somewhere to be: sometimes checking their phone, as if they'll make more money on their phone; sometimes checking out the booth or the table next to me; occasionally checking out the table behind me. When I say invisible, I don't mean completely invisible. Magically the waitress can see me and the bouncers politely nod at me. Then, there is the occasional unicorn stripper that looks my way and approaches, but for the most part the girls appear to look right through me.

And I'm sure you're wondering, how can I be invisible at a strip club? Unfortunately it's easier than you'd think. My wife and I are in our 40's and have been going to strip clubs together for the past few years. We started in Vegas, then in our home town, then on vacations. We enjoy our time, as I've shared in previous reviews and discussions. Our m.o. is simple. We typically go early (late evening) and enjoy the shift change from afternoon shift to night shift. When the club has good food, we love our "dinner at the club", and the show is usually more entertaining than people watching at a vanilla restaurant.

I digress. Evidently there are so many strippers that are freaked out by couples that they don't know how to handle themselves,. Childishly, they simply pretend like you're not there. The unicorns have shared with us that some of the girls fear that the wife is there reluctantly; they fear the wife's jealousy, sometimes the husband's jealousy; some just don't know what to do with another girl.

During a recent visit to a strip club, it actually got so bad, we were on the aisle with girls walking by and there was a guy sitting at a table behind us. There were so many girls passing by and just looking the other way. I felt bad for the guy, as if I was "cock-blocking" him. I know what some of you are going to say, you need to be more aggressive and approach the girl you want. We've tried that. Too often we get a girl that doesn't know how to handle a couple and all we get is disappointment.

We've had some, unusual, girls dance for us. Many of whom are not our style. The most unusual, for us, was a goth girl, tattoos, black makeup, definitely not our style. She approached us, excited, and we decided to go along. She was the last dance of the evening that night. She got us so worked up, we immediately left and went back to be together.

We've developed "rules", or ways of detecting whether or not we've found a unicorn. First, and foremost, if the girl approaches me first, we typically do not get dances. It's kind of like "guy code" for girls. Girls should show respect for other girls. The dancers that approach my wife first and get cozy with her, have been the best. Many times they will ask my wife's permission to sit on my lap or question which one of us would like a dance first. Thankfully my wife not only cooks and cleans, but she takes excellent care of me, as well. The unicorn will say that she "loves couples". The best of them will not charge double for a couples dance. When they're giving me a dance, they spend a lot of time looking at my wife. During my dance, they also touch my wife; tits, thigh, hair. They'll take her hand and have her touch them, and many times encourage my wife to touch me (thankfully she doesn't need much encouragement there). When they're dancing for her, they're looking at her, and hands are moving around more freely. For me, that's hot!

So, our invisibility ensues and we endure it. We wait quietly, patiently for the elusive unicorn stripper to wander past us, bringing the joy that only a mythical creature can provide.
Jan 2017
May '17
April 23, 2017
April 29, 2017
My friend told me how he meet his All Time Favorite escort. He was in an OTC with his CF stripper turned escort, they have known each other for many years. As usual she is taking a long time in the bathroom getting ready, and he has nothing to do and goes in a escort website, and sees pics of a blonde with the same name that his ex-girlfriend.

He texts the girl just out of curiosity, because the ad ask for "afluent, generous, executive gentleman with sense of humor" and said she is "independent" and has an "in call" rate in the high side, but reasonable for Los Angeles.

He sends her a text at 10:30pm asking for an appointment the next day, Tuesday at 8:30pm. She responds with a text proposing 9:30pm. Then he suggests the day after, Wednesday at 8:30pm, she responds OK.

He starts searching the Internet and can't find anything negative or positive about the girl. Then he thinks, "I can cancel tomorrow and no harm done". Tuesday at 2:17pm he gets a text from the girl asking if he would like to go to her place at 8:30pm, he text her back yes and requests the address, she texts the address, he looks in the Internet; it is an apartment building in Beverly Hills, and she texts him "confirm 8:30pm". He texts " confirm 8:30pm".

Now he is thinking about the situation, there has not been mention of screening, references, etc.

1. Could be a police sting. Nothing in the texts is explicit. He knows the Miranda rights and would ask to speak to an attorney and say nothing else.

2. A set up to rob him, he can take care of business, only had been taken down once in his younger years by four guys that jumped him from behind and that was for less than a minute, people came out of a restaurant to see what was going and the guys ran away, he just laughed afterwards.

3. A bait and switch, he is determined to leave if he doesn't find the girl attractive enough.

He decides to go and see if this would be a good alternative to the average encounter he just had.
After work he goes home showers, changes to slacks, long sleeve dress shirt, fancy bolo tie and decides to wear what he calls the "movie overcoat"; a cashmere luxurious black overcoat he got virtually new for pennies on the dollar after a movie wrapped up shooting in Hollywood. He has always received compliments when he wears it, and it is one of those cold nights in Los Angeles.

At 7:45pm he takes off for Beverly Hills, stops at a store to get some mints and sees the discounted Easter gifts and gets a cellophane wrapped 10inch high Teddy Bear with candy for a couple of dollars. A good "I am on my way to see a girlfriend" disguise.

When he arrives to the place, parks in a parking structure across from the apartment building, minutes before 8:30pm, he notices a text from the girl time stamped 8:04pm asking "are you coming at 8:30", he immediately responds "yes I am here", she texts "five minutes, please".

He walks to the front of the building and stands next to the main secured door checking his phone.
A woman a two cute teenage girls open the door, one of the girls is carrying a black chihuahua dog, and a golden retriever is walking behind them the woman invites the gentleman carrying a cellophane wrapped teddy bear gift to go inside and wait in the lobby, and said that the golden retriever is friendly. He smiles at the cute teenage girls and thanks the woman and goes inside, and continues checking his phone. The teens say their goodbyes to the woman and leave. The woman walks inside the lobby, and stops to tell the gentleman "I am sorry to let you know the elevator is not working" they smile at each other and she goes inside.

And old man comes into the lobby and realizes he has to go one more floor down to the parking, and laughs at himself and nods to my friend.

A beautiful blond girl in her early twenties wearing a summer dress comes thru the door, is obvious she lives there, smiles to the gentleman holding a Teddy Bear gift and goes inside. He thinks wow that is a 10 plus anywhere in the world.

My friend keeps checking his phone, 8:39pm gets a text with the apartment number and floor.

He walks towards the staircase, gets to the floor, finds the right number and knocks on the door then notices the ring bell button and presses it.

The door opens, and the beautiful blond he saw in the lobby is smiling in front of him. She hugs him and kisses him on the lips, like a girlfriend welcoming her boyfriend home. She asks "is that for me?" pointing to the teddy bear, and he can only say "yes", he is mesmerized.

She takes his hand and walks him to her bedroom. The apartment is spotless, in the bedroom she thanks him for the Teddy bear and said "I will keep it here on the dresser". She then proceeds to French kiss him for a few minutes. Next she ask him if she can take his coat and proceeds to help him to take it off. As she is doing it she says with a very impressed knowledgeable voice "cashmere" he answers "of course". She takes the coat with great care, gets a hanger, hangs it on the corner and says "I will put it here, OK" showing extreme care.

Cashmere was, for a long time, code for luxury; as early as the Mongolian empire in the 13th century. Some girls know, and this beauty did.

She ask him "would you like to take a 5 minutes shower?". He goes into the very clean bathroom and takes a shower, it really helps him to relax and feel comfortable. He walks out the bathroom and goes into the bedroom to find the blond girl wearing a lace bra, and panties set with a matching garter belt, and a beautiful smile. Very cutely she asks, "are we forgetting something", he immediately goes to get the gift out of his pants pocket and comes back and puts it on top of the dresser. She excuses herself for a minute out of the bedroom and comes back and hugs him and they French kiss for a few minutes. Then she pulls him to the bed where she rests on her back and he proceeds to kiss her all over, paying special attention to the firm beautiful D size naturals. She smiles and either she is the greatest actress in the whole world or she is really enjoying it.

Next he take his middle finger and puts it inside her, she ask him to be gentle and slow, he is, and French kisses her while fingering her, after a few moments she ask him "please use two fingers", he does, she ask him to do the "come hither" finger move and rub her G spot, he does. He is very careful and is paying attention to her reactions, and start to feel a lot of wetness in his hand, she orgasms and shakes so intensely that his fingers come out and then he puts them in again and French kisses her, kisses her boobs, her stomach, her inner thighs...she reaches for his member and tries to return the favor.

After one more orgasm, she thanks him and ask if he is ready for her to please him, he said yes, and he rest on his back and she proceeds to put a cover on him using her mouth. After a few minutes of this with lots of eye contact, he asks her to position herself so he can continue fingering her, she does and seems to enjoy the fingering while blowing him. After one more orgasm she ask him to "please fuck me", she ask for doggie style, he obliges and enjoy the view, spank her and does that for some time and she appears to orgasm one more time. He asks her to turn around and puts her on her back at the edge of the bed, put her legs on his shoulders and fucks her more, he then hugs her tight and French kisses her while going in and out at different speeds, and enjoys her reactions, at one point her vagina tightens, probably involuntarily, because he asks her to do it again and she can't. After a few more minutes he finally explodes.

They kiss and hug some more, he carefully pulls out, after a moment she said "you need another 5 minutes shower?", he said yes, takes a shower. At leaving he tells her "now I believe God exists, because I was praying it would be you when I saw you in the lobby", she said smiling "me too". She ask where are you from, she says smiling "Moscow" they kiss goodbye.
Dec 2004
May '17
April 11, 2017
When I wrote my article on visiting a strip club for the first time,, I included the short paragraph:

“The second thing you should realize is that there are exceptions to everything that goes on in a strip club and everything that someone says about what goes on in a strip club. You won’t necessarily get the same experience someone else got, or even the same experience the next time you go, or even from the same dancer. "

And I got the following comment back from Subraman:

“Definitely true. You could write an entire article about just the many facets of this. The fact that you could find a club that's almost always so-so, and just find the right girl, and it's amazing. The fact -- disputed by some, but nevertheless a fact -- that the girls don't all do the same things for everyone for the same price, and in fact might not even do the same thing for YOU for the same price next time you go.”

So after some thought, I decided to write this article about that very subject.

In most clubs regulars get better treatment than the guy who only comes in once in awhile or the first time visitor. This should come as no surprise, but it does to some. Dancers know what to expect from a regular and feel comfortable with him. They know he will spend money and what he expects from them. They don’t have to explain rules or boundaries. They know that they he will be back and that they should treat him well or he won’t bother with them the next time. So, become a regular at a club, even if it is only once a month or once every two months. Try to go in at the same time, or when the same dancers are working. But, even regulars don’t get the same treatment every time they go in and some of the reasons are below.

Money and Tipping
There are lots of things that go into the kind of experience you get in a strip club, including some I don’t know about. I think how you spend your money is one big factor. Dancers like tippers, so I tip. First off, I tip all the dancers when they dance on stage. It is a cheap way to get empathy from the dancers. It acknowledges that you realize that the dancers get at least a portion of their income from dancing on stage and that you want to contribute to their income, even if you don’t want a table or private dance from them Also, it makes the dancers that don’t get tipped a lot appreciate you tipping them and in the same manner, appreciate you. And thirdly, it says to the other dancers I am not just into a pretty face or fancy dance moves. I think many, but not all, dancers appreciate the guy who appreciates other dancers by tipping them and hence, all of the other dancers will treat you better. In some clubs, a tip is expected for extras and I do tip on that. But I don’t for just a great dance. If you have tipped before, dancers will remember and be more generous. But they will expect it again. I am not talking exorbitant tips here, or making it rain.

I also think that tipping the wait staff is important. It builds rapport and also helps them to look the other way if you are doing something with a dancer that is strictly against club rules. The waitress is more likely to ignore what you are doing if you have tipped her. Again, I am not talking exorbitant tips to waitresses here, 15% to 25% is fine. Fifty cents on a six dollar beer is not.

I don’t tip bouncers.

If you spend money on dancers when you visit the club, you will get remembered and your experience is likely to be better next time. You don’t need to spend a lot, dancers like even the small spenders if they are reliable and visit often. You will get treated better than the guy who never buys dances when he comes in or the guy who only buys dances from one dancer and then wants to change favorites. If you intended to have a dance with your favorite but she isn’t there, try out some of the other dancers. They will appreciate you for it. Also, dancers tend to think that a guy who just sits and doesn’t get dances doesn’t want dances so they tend to avoid asking him after awhile. If you get stuck in this rut, just ask a dancer for a dance, don’t wait for them to come to you.

Who is in club
Who is in the club also determines what kind of experience you will get. If the house mother or manager is there and wandering around, things are likely to be stricter than if they are not there. If you know what times these people are not there, you will likely have a better experience, Many do not show up early on day shifts or low traffic days. I remember walking into a club early on a Saturday afternoon and one of my favorites who nearly always gave good dances grabbed me almost as soon as I walked in the door. She whispered in my ear, “The manager is gone and there is no one here to watch the cameras, so we can have a good time in the VIP”. I was leery that this was typical stripper BS, but it seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up. As it turned out it was an excellent opportunity and I had the best dances from that dancer I ever had and some of the best ever. But I never had such a good an experience with that dancer again. It was all timing. Some waitresses and dancers will watch other dancers and tell management when they are doing more than they should. If such a dancer is dancing at the next table, or the waitress waiting tables in your area is known to complain about dancers going too far, this will make your experience poorer. If the dancer hasn’t told you what was going on you would never know, you would just think you had a poor dance from a dancer that had an otherwise good reputation. And dancers are likely not to tell you in fear that you will stop buying dances, which you should, and that the next time you come in you will notice the offending dancer or waitperson in your area and not get dances then. Some dancers will suggest you move or go to the VIP to avoid this. Take the hint. Many, though, will just dial back your experience. There is no real effective way to deal with this, but if you got a poor dance from an otherwise usually good dancer, you may wish to move to a different part of the club with different wait staff or a table with fewer neighboring tables, like in a corner next to a wall.

There is a reluctance on many dancers parts to give great dances to strangers, or someone they have never seen in the club before, or someone who looks like he has never been in the club before. Not much you can do about this, except give the club a second chance and hope that someone recognizes you the second time around. Spending money the first time around helps. When in a new club, I usually sit down and observe for a bit before I get dances so I can see how things are in the club. Notice how tipping is done and follow suit, Things to look for, can you hand money directly to the dancer or do you need to place it on stage, can you touch at the stage, if you stay long at the stage are you expected to tip again, or if tipping is even done on stage or it the dancers walk around to receive a tip. Check to see who is giving the best table dances.See whether people get dances on the floor or in the VIP. See who gives the most VIP dances and how long they last. See if the dancers do anything consistent after the VIP dance, like heading to the bathroom or dressing room to freshen up. I have seen a dancer who gives very good VIP dances head for the hand sanitizer after a VIP session. Look to see if they have wait staff or if you have to get your own drink from the bar. Often dancers will ask if you have been in a club before and part of the reason for this is to make sure that you will not cause trouble. I usually say yes, even if I have not been before. Doing your homework on TUSCL helps to answer this question if it gets pushed further, which it doesn’t usually. If you don’t feel like outright lying, say no, but you have been to other clubs in the area. Again TUSCL is your friend. Or say you have, but it has been a long time.

Law Enforcement
There is also fear that a stranger may be law enforcement; not just vice, but also alcohol control commission. So, don’t act like a cop. Act like yourself, a horny strip club customer. If there is concern that law enforcement/alcohol enforcement is in the club, or is actually in the club, your experience will change a lot, and not for the better. Also, if there is fear that law enforcement may show up, like recent raids on other clubs or tightening of alcohol enforcement, your experience will diminish. Often this occurs shortly before or after local and state elections. There isn’t much to do about this though, except to try another time. Some clubs have signals, like playing a particular song or having the DJ make an announcement . Also, I have been in clubs where the housemother went around and told the dancers that LEO were in the club. So if you hear a suspicious song being played at an odd time, or an odd announcement being made, or someone making the rounds whispering something in the dancer’s ears, there may be law enforcement in the club. The dancers or club management may be reluctant to pass the information on to you as you will likely stop buying dances. At one club I went to the uniformed cops on the beat walked in the club and stood in the back for 10 or 15 minutes every couple of hours. I suppose they were on a break. Similarly, I have seen fire fighters stand in the back of a club, presumably to insure that the fire marshall’s occupancy limit is not exceeded. Those are obviously poor times to get a dance, although the dancer may tell you it doesn’t matter.

Time of visit
In many clubs, there is a big difference in the experience you get between the day shift and the evening/night shift, and between week days and weekends, The day shift is often populated by single mothers eager to make a buck quickly and you will often get a better experience then than with evening shift dancers. The night shift is often populated by prima donnas, who think that they may be doing you a favor by dancing for you and as usually the club is busy during the evening/night shift, they can get away with that attitude. Same with weekends, particularly Sunday afternoons and to a lesser extent Saturday afternoons. Those are slow times and dances are likely to be better. Anytime the club is less populated you are likely to get a better dance as there are fewer customers to make money from. Simple supply and demand. Shift changes and times near closing are also productive for good experiences as dancers who haven’t made as much money as they think they should have that night will stretch the limits to put more money in their wallets. If there is a feature dancer and you don’t care about seeing her, when the feature dancer dances is a good time to get a dance as most of the patrons are there to see the feature and the other dancers get ignored.

The time of month can drive your experience, and not just from a physiological standpoint. The times closer to when bills are due are usually good for a great experience. This is usually, but not always around the first of the month. Since strippers don’t usually plan ahead or budget very well, the days after the rent is due are more productive than those before. There is also a seasonal effect: September, back to school expenses for their kids, December, Christmas presents, and January, paying credit card bills, are all good bets to get a good strip club experience. I once had a stripper tell me that she had just bought $75 in candy for her son’s Easter basket and she needed to make the money to pay for it. Great dance from a normally good dancer followed.

Personalities and Quirks
Well, I am treading on thin ice here, but some dancers can change attitudes or personalities quite drastically. Usually over the course of days, weeks, or months, but sometimes just in hours or minutes. I am no amateur psychologist, but I suppose that not unexpected. People with unstable personalities are not usually good prospects for more typical jobs. Alcohol or drugs are sometimes involved. Not much you can do here, but be aware of it. I had great dances from a dancer if I bought her a drink first. She wasn’t drunk, just a bit uninhibited or grateful for the drink, I could never tell. On the other hand I have had dancers approach me that were high or drunk or both and I doubted that they could stay awake during a dance. Obviously avoid those. I have had poor dances from dancers that were angry, usually with management, husbands, day care, landlords, significant others, you name it. If you don’t know what happened, you would think they are always like that. I had a great dance from a dancer that had just gotten out of jail for a DWI. Just be aware of a dancer’s attitude and go with the one’s that are mellow. I have had great dances from dancers that said I reminded them of an ex-boyfriend, musician, or favorite teacher. I suppose reading up on Freud may help here.

It doesn’t hurt to set expectations with a dancer before a dance, particularly a VIP dance. Ask what kind of experience you can expect. Ask why it will be different than the dance on the floor. ask what you can do during the dance and what she will do. If you have specific requests make them before you go VIP. If extras are offered, set a price up front. I try to invest in at least a single dance on the floor with a dancer before I go to the VIP room and try to get in some touching or more during that dance so that the dancer knows that I am open to more. But if you don’t make it clear to the dancer what you want, you are less likely to get it as she is just guessing at what you want and how far you want her to go. Often they guess correctly, but not always. Sometimes they will be hesitant to tell you what to expect, as they are afraid of getting into trouble, or you won’t go if she won’t do what you want, but if you sense it will be a good time otherwise, try her for a single dance and if it isn’t what you want call it quits. You will know better next time.

Hygiene is important. Dancers tend to avoid guys that are dirty or smell.Take a shower before you go and put on clean clothes. Brush your teeth and use mouth wash. Suck on a breathe mint. Similarly they don’t like to rub their bodies on dirty clothes. Or rough clothes for that matter, so don’t go in blue jeans or denim jeans. Common sense should prevail here. And it might not be you, it might be the guy you came in with. I have had dancers tell me that another customer smelled so bad she lied about having to go on stage to avoid giving him a second dance.

I am sure that I have missed a few points, but there are enough here to ponder for awhile. Also, I just forgot, some reviewers on TUSCL stretch the truth a bit, so they may not have had the experience they said they had.
Jan 2013
Mar '17
April 11, 2017
May 4, 2017
This is just a free form, stream of conscious, random list of things I hate at the club.

Ugh. This is a lose-lose moment to me. I do not mind buying a dancer a drink if it is someone I am already planning to spend money on, or if I am currently engaged and enjoying their company. But when it's a situation where you have barely started talking, or if you are about to get a dance and you aren't sure how you feel about the girl yet, it is so annoying. If you do not want to buy the dancer the drink, you have two choices. Choice 1. You buy her the drink. Which is annoying. I only bring cash to the strip club. I'm not a crazy baller. I prefer to save my money for dances and tips. Now I am out $10 or more so the stripper can have a shitty drink. And I have had strippers tell me stories about how they tell servers to bring them non-alcoholic drinks because they don't want to drink every night, so that is always on my mind, too. I just feel like a total chump after feeling pressured to buy a drink I didn't want to buy. Choice 2. Don't buy the drink. God. Now you look like a total cheapskate. It is such an awkward moment. My pride is too great. I almost always cave and buy the drink when asked. My strategy is to cut off the server and be like, "I'm okay, I don't need a drink." But some are just cutthroat and will ask, "How about for the lady?" That is the worst.

My most frequented club has been Babydolls in Dallas. I usually use the stages as a testing ground to find the right girl. Then I tip the girl and tell her to find me when she is done with her stages. I would say probably more than half the time, I never see the girl again. Sometimes, it's fascinating. It's not that I will see them later. Often, they just totally vanish. It's annoying and frustrating. It's also curious when I tell them I want to buy a dance from them that they make no effort to come find me. I always assume they are with a regular in VIP or something.

I can't speak for every club, but in my opinion, at a place like Babydolls, VIP is so unnecessary. You can get extremely good mileage with a regular dance. So when a dancer starts trying to hustle for VIP, I find it annoying. I don't mind her asking. That's cool. But if she keeps pushing, It is obnoxious. The other day, a girl sat in my lap and talked me up for a good 15 minutes. She was flirty and fun. I wanted a dance from her. She asked me to go VIP. I said I wasn't going to be there long enough to do VIP. I told her I was only staying another 10-15 minutes. She thought this over. And she said, "Yeah, I guess that's not enough time to do VIP." I said, "Do you only do VIP?" And she said, "Yeah. Okay, well it was nice talking to you." Got up and left. My mind was blown. She was super nice about it too. I thought she was going to be pissy for sitting in my lap and letting me rub on her ass the whole time. But she was chill. Just wasn't interested in doing a couple dances and would rather hustle for more VIP..

I got a dance from this girl once. It was okay. Just average. She then tried to tell me her dances were $40 a dance. I told her, "I've been here before, and I have never paid that." She said, blah blah, all the girls are contract and have different rates. I may be a sucker when it comes to buying a girl a drink, but I am not going to be hustled for money I don't owe you. I told this girl, "Okay. Well. I am going to give you $20." And she tried to be all coy and was like, "Well, you could at least give me $30." I said, "Well. I am going to give you $20." She relented and said something dumb like, "Listen, I'm not going to get management involved because I don't feel like it, but fine, you can do $20 this time." I was like, "You can call management if you want. But you are only getting $20." Thankfully, that RARELY happens to me.

All that being said, Goddamn, I do love strip clubs so much.

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