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Lust for the night...

Dark Times
April 14, 2019
Comments: 44
Last Comment: April 15, 2019 by IceyLoco
So I’ve been seeing this dancer every time I go to this town on business. Saw her a number of times at the local club and then turned into coming to my hotel room for a visit. We never do anything except what we would do at the club, except I’m naked as well... she plays and fondles but never anything develops past that. She gets me hard instantly and plays with me but never instigates any handjob, oral or sex... and in a way it’s not bothering me because I like the whole scenario but I’m at the point where I’ve fallen for this woman and want to so much take it to the next level. I know the cardinal rule is don’t fall in love with a stripper but shit... I have! Every time I want to start talking about it I chicken out and that is so unlike me! But then again this is the first time I’ve been in this situation... it’s also affecting my personal life because all I do is think about her and I’m sure the feeling isn’t mutual. What would you guys suggest or do?
April 14, 2019
Is there money involved and to what level do you want to go?
April 14, 2019
My suggestion is to just pose the question. Get your answer. Move forth or move on. Don’t fuck your life up over it.
April 14, 2019
Ya there is money involved as with any stripper... at this point I think I’ve been played for the money very well, but take responsibility because I allowed it to happen. I really want to it to go a lot further cause she does make me feel free and myself. And honestly with my wife is not that good so anything looks better at the moment.
So to answer my own question in a way I think I need to put this life to rest and see what develops afterwards and not lead this two faced life... I guess
The “don’t fuck up your life” comment helps a lot cause that is what I have been thinking. But reaching out sometime helps for your opinions.
Thank you
April 14, 2019
Just tell her.
April 14, 2019
OK, well I think you should move on....you're married and in love with a hooker. Take it for what it is. Nothing good can come of it in the long run. But even if you tell her, she may just agree with you to keep getting money. I mean its not a good situation.
April 14, 2019
Umm you can't claim to "love" someone if the main u want from them is sexual stuff lol....
April 14, 2019
Men get naked in strip clubs?? Lol ..how often?
April 14, 2019
Sex can make you think you love someone if its that good
April 14, 2019
you'd be surprised at what bitches would do for good dick
April 14, 2019
and shit n shit
April 14, 2019
How old are you and how old is she? What would you rate yourself in looks and what would you rate her in looks?
April 14, 2019
If she really liked you I just don't see how she will not close the deal unless you are pushing her away. A naked couple getting stimulated and not eventually getting off is very odd and contrived. Unless you are doing some tantric shit on purpose it just does not compute.
April 14, 2019
Regardless, its a recipe for disaster
April 14, 2019
Ya I guess I’m too the reason. I figure until I actually do it I’m not really cheating ... I’m seeing her this week and will bring up the situation. If she’s really into me then there won’t be a problem
But if she balks... then I have to question it...
April 14, 2019
Well, I'd say you've taken "mileage" as far as it can go, without moving into "sex". Fun till now. If you don't mind breaking your marriage?
Talk with wife?
Talk with stripper?
Talk to your future self?
You're definitely at a decision point.
Good luck.
April 14, 2019
I understand. My 10 year fling with a dancer grew and grew into far more than I ever planned. I loved almost every step of our “relationship”. You need to think through what you want for an outcome. If you haven’t had sex in any way then try to determine if the reason you haven’t is because you lack the nerve to ask her, you really don’t want to have sex with her, she doesn’t want to have sex with you, or she wants more money. Do you want to continue seeing her when you’re in her city? Do you feel as if she will want some kind of commitment.?
When I first “fell in love” with the object of my attention, she said to me,” You don’t love me. You love what I do for you.” We talked through all the emotions and other issues ( money) and she readily admitted she wouldn’t be there without the money. So we concluded that we were using each other. I was using her for sex with a beautiful young woman and she used me for $500 an hour. Several years later there was a relaxation of clock watching and we admitted we really enjoyed the other’s company.
Try to level with her and with yourself.
April 14, 2019
She is in it for the money. You are a customer. Any relationship is just part of the fantasy. The relationship is not real. I repeat, this is a fantasy.

Having said that, if she thinks she can turn this into a big payday, she will play out the fantasy as far as she needs to.

Danger Will Robinson, danger !!!!!
April 14, 2019
Shit..... all of you make a lot of sense.... i know the money is the driving point from her perspective cause there have been times where it was bill time and I couldn’t afford her and she wouldn’t come see me... I know it’s a fantasy but guess I need you guys to slap me in the face with it.... still though a fantasy and feels good bit after a while you just get that used feeling... thanks guys, needed to hear from you for a reality check...
April 14, 2019

You my friend fell really hard and she’s very good at what she does.

You were very wise to ask opinions. Now comes the hard part — you need to develop an action plan. Keep in mind that that you’ve been told in the responses above strippers sell a fantasy experience. That their motivation is separating you from your funds so that your funds become their funds. You must make some hard decisions and keep in mind that you should never mention, admit, hint at or tell anyone in your real world life. Because as sure as the Bear shits in the woods and that cute new puppy pisses in your shoes someone at some point will give that information to your wife. And imagine the shit storm that will create! Wife drama, in-law drama, friends drama, court drama —- all the drama any normal monger dreads and avoids.

Remember, deny, deflect, play dumb whatever necessary so as to not screw up your real world life. Mongering is a hobby or lifestyle choice that brings fantastic fantasies into our brains so we can survive the mundane day to day life we all go through.

Just some thoughts! Take them for what they are worth.
April 14, 2019
Nothing good can happen from being in "love" with a women you are paying for company and/or sex.

And though you haven't had sex with this dancer yet, I'm sure your significant other would consider what you do as cheating.

As @George123789 emphasized don't ever let anyone in your real life know about this adventure.
April 14, 2019
This is the only place I ever read stories about guys paying strippers to come to their hotels and NOT have sex with them. ;)

But ok, putting that aside...

Maybe it would have been better if you HAD stuck your dick in the girl a few times. Then maybe your head would clear and the infatuation would be gone. Then you'd just be one of the countless millions of married guys who get a little side tail on the sly instead of harboring these silly emotional feelings for a girl who you are paying for whatever.

If you have kids, I'd say cut her loose immediately before you go and do something really stupid and selfish like break up your family over a paid piece of ass. If you don't have kids and don't expect to, then I'm a bit more ambivalent about the situation as barren couples often break apart anyway - children and grandkids are really a cohesive element in most long-term marriages.
April 15, 2019
One of the all time best TUSCL quotes:

From Bullwinkle:

"Pour lye onto your hand, watch the skin bubble and burn, wash it away with vinegar. Look at it next time you ask this question and remember it was still a better idea then dating a stripper."
April 15, 2019
Thanks guys for all the advice and comments, it has been a couch session with a shrink that didn’t cost anything and probably way more effective with you guys.
Deep down I know it’s not a good idea and just needed to air it and confirm it. I will break off this fantasy and get my shit back together. It’s been like a whirlpool of lust and fantasy and I couldn’t, or didn’t want to pull out..
April 15, 2019
^^^ Congratulations on the good decision making. We don't see a lot of that.
April 15, 2019
Next time you're going to stray, and it is surely going to happen, then just keep it simple and find something to stick your dick into. In other words, do what normal dogs do and then forget about it on your way home.

Fuckin' A with these bizzaro type stories that almost never really happen in real interactions. The key to good fiction is the suspension of disbelief, which requires one to leave the house once in a while and actually interact with the people he is writing about. Just sayin.
April 15, 2019
If you want to fuck her, tell her you want to fuck her. Is that so hard to do? If she's been doing this with you for a while, she is most likely willing to let you fuck her for money. She can probably tell how deep the hook is set with you, so she will probably ask for a crazy number, but you are so infatuated, you will feel lucky to pay it.

Not to get all Icey on you, but these girls are generally really high time preference, low impulse control. The rapidity with which she would let a man she wanted fuck her would astound you (minutes). Her ability to fool around with you naked, repeatedly is strong evidence that she has absolutely zero organic desire for you, and she's been 100% certain about that since 5 minutes after you first met (at most).

She is never going to become your wife or girlfriend. Honestly, if she did, you would regret it more profoundly than you can imagine right now. These girls are way more annoying in real life than their fantasy personas.

She's a delicious treat. If you can afford the price, take a bite, savor it. Treats this sweet spoil rapidly. But don't take it home just to watch it get moldy. And don't think you can stop eating real food and subsist on nothing but treats without putting yourself in an early grave.
April 15, 2019
"It's been like a whirlwind of lust and fantasy and I couldn't, or wouldn't want to pull out."

Couldn't pull out because you never put it in.
April 15, 2019
Look at it from her perspective too.... She's making great money and doesn't really even have to do anything for it. He's the perfect trick to her. By fucking him, she has to exert more energy into it and get the same returns... She'd most likely take advantage of his emotions and raise the price a lot if he wanted to fuck.

Her toying with him isn't even fantasy, its more like emotional blackmail at this point....he's in it too deep and she's taking advantage of that. Her not seeing him unless he pays proves that there's absolutely no attachment there on her part. If a hoe at least finds a trick fun or okay to hang out with she'll work on the price.

And Justaguy79 is right.... if a bitch wants you, you'll know right away. Especially ones like this or strippers. As far as them being annoying in real life...not any more than any other girl. But the drama....but it can be entertaining at times.

If you really want to pick up a hooker, being a trick can work but only if she's actually attracted to you and likes you. One of the biggest complaints amateur pimps have is losing hoes to tricks. Coz the hoes realize that their needs are met by the guy and they don't have to hoe. Its really not that uncommon.

The other way to do it is to just hang out where hoes hang out, and talk to them like any other girls...if they're attracted to you and you come across as enough of a bad boy they're pretty easy... having drugs helps leverage things your way too.
April 15, 2019
Good luck and let us know how it turns out!
April 15, 2019
Dealing w/ strippers is business 99 out 100 times, even if she doesn't make it seem that way - strippers and PLs have different motives/needs - so you gotta decide what it is you want and stop trying to read-the-tea-leaves, that will usually end up you not getting your money's worth - strippers are sex-workers, yet many PLs treat the interaction as if they were courting a virgin for marriage (and are afraid of "insulting her" by asking for sex) - in life or in strip-clubs, the guys that get the most are the ones that go for what they want - it is in most stripper's best interest to do the least and charge the most, so leaving it up to her is not only a pussy-move but means you're gonna pay and not get what you want.

Again, strippers are sex-workers, they get asked for sex every day they work - asking for sex is not a crime.

Guys pay strippers to get what they want/need, not hope she'll give you what you want as in the civilian world.

You gotta decide what it is you want - if you want a genuine-relationship then I don't think you can be a customer - if you just wanna be a customer then you can't be so apathetic - for inexperienced SCers their frame of reference is civilian relationships and they think it should go the same with a stripper they are paying; it's two different things.
April 15, 2019
^^Agree 100%
April 15, 2019
but asking to pay for sex is a crime lol
April 15, 2019
It’s never been about the sex... at first I felt if no sex then it’s not really cheating but then it became more of truly enjoying the company and playfulness...
then it became a bit of a frustration and sex became a thought and want. But now it’s just at a point where do I really want to fuck her? I had fun and lord knows it provided me of endless jerk hours lol but then became an infatuation and I fell for her hard. But since this discussion and gut feeling I know it’s not right by me. For her it’s great, do what we do and get paid for doing nothing really.. so today I say have bills to pay and can’t see you and she’s like it’s okay, I’ll come over anyway and we can be together. Of course the weak side of me is like yes! But the logical side of me says she knows she has to spend some money to harvest the crop and will get the money back sooner or later...
I played it different and said not tonight, I’m tired and need to re-evaluate us and my life. She replied by saying it’s okay and she’s always there when I need her... which by itself speaks volumes...
next time I’m in town I will break it up and I know she will be disappointed because of the loss of $$$
April 15, 2019
Dude are you for real? She offered to do you for free and you said no?

At some bars, after you buy a few drinks, the bartender will say "next one's on me." Would you say no thanks, just because he's not really your friend?
April 15, 2019
Damn. I wish we could star, favorite or bookmark threads or posts. So many good posts on this thread. I just copy and paste them into my notes app.
April 15, 2019
I’m trying to break free of this relationship not keep it going. Free or not... the free is a hook that I just don’t need right now :)
April 15, 2019
Bavarian, lots of great advice from others here and ya, I wish bookmarking was possible.
April 15, 2019
That’s just a ploy. She is counting on coming over, hanging out and PL handing her maybe not the full amount but something.

I would not bother “breaking up” with her. Just don’t contact her. She already let you know that she’s there when you need her. Take a break to cool off.
April 15, 2019
From Jack Reacher

“ I can’t afford you”

“ I’m not a hooker “

“ Then I really can’t afford you “
April 15, 2019
Something from an article in Psychology Today

The key to a con is not that you trust the conman, but that he shows he trusts you. Conmen ply their trade by appearing fragile or needing help, by seeming vulnerable. We feel good when we help others--this is the basis for attachment to family and friends and cooperation with strangers. "I need your help" is a potent stimulus for action.
April 15, 2019
... waiting for forklift to report back
April 15, 2019
I wouldn't call what this guy is going through a con. He's paying for a fantasy.... him getting lost in that doesn't make it a con.
April 15, 2019
Declining an opportunity for free sex takes real strength of character and determination, good for you to see it's not what you really want and end it.
April 15, 2019
After the amount he spent, he should have at least fucked her.
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