April 24, 2011 •
In the film "Body of Lies" , a brief scene depicts a meeting between CIA agent played by Leonardo DiCaprio and the hapless Jordanian architect he is framing as a terrorist which takes place in the "Cyclone Club" in Dubai. It is hard to imagine any (male) who has been to Dubai not being aware that this is a very real place. What was disappointing to this former patron is how the image of the architect surrounded by two (presumably former Soviet republic) women falls to capture the almost overwhelming image of a virtual army of (amateur) Chinese and former Soviet republic prostitutes that assaults one upon entry into this astonishingly club. Of course you pay to get in, and then, of course to drink, and to buy drinks for your favorite of choice, and, if you are not firm, her friends as well. You also may find yourself hit up for "tips" in a not very subtle fashion by the very tough South Asian bodyguards that circle the club, with the apparently goal of protecting the patrons from overly aggressive girls. The club, when I was left there in 2007, was carefully divided into Chinese and former Soviet sections, with the girls on the Chinese side unmistakably prettier, friendlier and more aggressive than their obviously outmaneurved ex-USSR counterparts, who seem to have lost out in the struggle for space, since they were consigned to a large circular bar distinctly away from the front door, giving first crack at the patrons to the Chinese masses. From what I can observe, not many made it to the former Soviet side. I certainly didn't. But then again I'm prejudiced. Therefore be aware that my comments hereafter refer only to the Chinese side of the club and its residents. The girls all speak reasonably good English, and if many are not quite as young as one might hope for (the youngest I met was 26 but could - and did - easily pass for 20) they are, as I said, friendly and anxious to please. And I mean anxious for the very simple reason that virtually all of them are in Dubai to work at day jobs that don't even pay for their housing expenses. Little detail the recruiters fail to tell Chinese being solicited to work in Dubai. Their choice, once they get there, is either to return home in shame, forfeiting the years of earnings they paid the recruiter for their jobs and visas, or finding other ways of supplementing their incomes. I will not go into detail except to say that in Dubai everything is for sale and the Cyclone is not merely no different but the epitome of such thinking. For a mutually satisfactory price one can go with the lady of one's choice to her (crowded apartment) and, ignoring the curtains over the entrances to other rooms in which entire families may be residing, get better acquainted in her small but (these being Chinese women) always exceptionally clean and not in the least bit dreary or even shabby room. I have it on reliable information that approximately 70% of these women are married so consider your "gift" to be a desperately needed donation towards her children's education funds (one has to pay dearly for even public elementary education in "communist" China) and/or the impossible dream of owning a home of her family's own. If you don't find whatever time you have spent with the girl among the most endearing memories of your life, then you are either incredibly bad at chosing woman or simply not human.
Incidentally, the reason I call it the "aptly named" Cyclone is just the sheer volume of Chinese woman all grouped together in one place, all desperately pleading with their eyes and yet ever bravely (because these are, again, Chinese) smiling with their faces. Its like a Cyclone of energy and well worth experiencing even if for only a quick drink with a new (and fleeting) friend. Enjoy!
April 25, 2011 • I guess the format requires all reviews refer to "Strip" Clubs. However, the Cyclone is a kind of hostess club. There is no stripping going on except, of course, of wallets.
April 27, 2011 • Mr. Coffee - no mention of $ amount of gifts and donations that are most common. Can you share?
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More than a list. It's the evocation of a culture.
September 2, 2015 • Vol. 22, No. 245
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