Approaching a dancer

I don't approach dancers who are talking to a guy. This is Detroit. I don't want to get a cap popped in my ass in the parking lot.

I'll walk by her and try to make eye contact. If she looks back at me, then she's looking for an out. Then I nod my head and sit down at a near by table so she can see me. Then I look back at her again. If she's interested, she will then excuse herself from the other guys. You didn't barge into a conversation. You just made eye contact and motioned to her.

I don’t approach dancers if they are with other guys. If I don’t know the dancer or customers - it seems like a bad idea to approach a dancer when she’s with a customer (or potential customer). I enjoy variety - so it’s not an issue if a dancer is chatting with another guy - as I’ll just move on to the next hottie.

On the one hand, she's a free person, I don't own her, so you're not going to get kicked out or anything if you approach. On the other hand, I often talk with a girl for 60-90 minutes before ever buying my first dance with her, so no matter what YOU think is going on, you have no idea whether she's just talking with some club "furniture" to fill her time, or putting in work to make a sale with a known regular (almost always the case with me). The last thing I'm going to do is get into a fight at a strip club, but not everyone is on my lofty emotional plane, so if you do approach someone in the latter category, it's certainly possible the other customer will make his unhappiness directly known to you in an unpleasant way of some sort. Really, I think Warrior's way is fine -- make eye contact, so if she IS just biding her time, now she knows you're interested, and she can break off and approach you. What I do in these cases, close to 100% of the time, is wait until she is either on stage, when I can approach her with a tip and let her know I'm interested, or catch her when she's walking to or from the bathroom or whatever... I do not approach other customers' personal space or risk them having misplaced feelings of being disrespected. Some guys send the waitress or floor host on their behalf, which I think is a bit of a bitch move, but that also insulates you from a hostile customer.

Yeah approaching her when she's engaged with another custy is "no bueno" - I try to make eye-contact or somehow get her attention w/o the PL noticing or wait till she goes on stage - or one can give a tip to a waitress to convey your message to her. One can argue it's ultimately up to the dancer to say yay or nay and that a dancer is there for anyone that wants a dance, but the reality is some custies get possessive of dancers and one would be raining on their parade.

I'll ONLY do it when I know the dancer extremely well. I've done it maybe 3 times.

It should be easy enough to ask the bartender or another dancer to ask her to come over to chat with you, why bother doing it in such a way that could cause a problem for yourself.

If she’s sitting with someone, I’ll leave her alone, even if it’s “obvious” that he’s not spending on her. I *will* talk to her at the stage, if she goes up, and I’ll also ask the bartender or waitress to see if she’ll come over when she’s done with whatever she’s doing.

While I understand both sides, I think its rude. No matter how well you THINK you know the dancer, youre being a cockblock. Dont be a cockblock because then youre in violation of man code. If you want her attention wait until she is on stage, ask the bouncer or manager about her, or send over shots.

I will look at the dancer and smile, then approach her if she goes on stage and let her know I'm interested. At least I used to...rarely does a dancer even go on stage during day shift at the clubs I visit. If she's at all interested in my $, the smile and nod usually does it.

Never approach a dancer when she is sitting and talking to a guy or guys. You never know if she is paid to talk or talk and then dances. Once I had a dancer sitting with me for 40 minutes since I already locked her . A guy came and interrupted her asked for dances and left. She was so annoyed and complained he was rude and asked for dances. He might have thought that I was not buying dances so he decided to interrupt us and ask her for dances. Once I asked another dancer to inform her friend that I am interested in buying dances who is sitting with other guy but not taking dances. It worked.Her friend immediately came to me and we were off to VIP.

Like others have said make eye contact to let her know you're interested and if that doesn't work approach her stage side and let her know what you want. If she isn't dancing on the stage after a while and the eye contact doesn't work I will tip a waitress $5 to let her know she has a customer waiting as soon as she is done with her current client.

I still get guys approaching me & my dancer at clubs, with them assuming that I am a friend of the dancer and not a customer. The first few times it happened I was pretty chill about it and let it go, but now I make sure that the guy knows the score. Because I know all too well how shitty it is to be interrupted when I am with a dancer, I would never do it to someone else. At most I will send a waitress over to her to let her know that I am interested if I sense that she is bored or just taking a break and hanging out.

I would ask a waitress or the barmaid to let her know she has a customer who was interested before I would ever approach a dancer sitting with another guy or two. Although when I read the OP, I thought about a review @FarmerArt submitted for a visit to No. 5 Orange Showroom Pub in Vancouver a few years back. Seems he pulled into the club very late, not long before closing time. Noticed a super hot dancer sitting at a table full of young guys who looked like they didn't have much cash. He walked up, slipped a $20 bill in between her tits and nicely asked if she would like to dance for him! Art said she damn near knocked the table over jumping up to join him in the upstairs dance booths! Art finished his review stating he and this very fine looking dancer later retired to his hotel room for more private fun and the old in and out, as he often called it. Of course, Art was very confident and could take care of himself too. RIP Art.

I don’t approach dancers if with a guy. It wb a bad idea and is not good club etiquette. I hate guys who try horn in especially when many girls on floor. The guy u horn in on could decide knife u or worse, it’s not worth a fight / trip to jail or 6 ft under. For all u know the guy could her her sd who had given her lots money. For me money has trumped all - husbands, fiancée, boyfriends, baby daddy. One stripper mistress I have had did her when she engaged, married, etc. Money like 5 star guard who opens holes - just go score.

I’ll also back that it’s probably best to not be aggressive with it. But a brief smile and eye contact can probably help. Maybe not for the dancer you mentioned since it sounded like she wasn’t prioritizing closing dances or even really paying attention to the floor. I remember once someone made eye contact with me while he was getting a lap dance from someone else. I smiled at him briefly while I continued walking. This was probably for all of 2-3 seconds. Later towards the end of the night I was tired and about to head to the dressing room. But then I saw him at the bar, remembered him, and instantly approached him. Because he had acknowledged me earlier, he became a priority in my mind. We finished out the last three songs of the night together.

Directly approaching the dancer when she is with someone is a douche move. @Warrior and @25 have good suggestions. Another would be to approach her when she does her stage set. Has this already been suggested, I didn't read the whole thread?

I would walk past ans brush against her back on the way by. Look back and see if she makes eye contact

^ Done that too. It's effective.

I agree, approaching a dancer when she's with a customer is a douche move. But I don't personally feel its out of line if its done with a bit of tact and/or humor. So is sending over the manager or waitress. If someone's gonna come over I'd generally prefer the PL come over himself, but I know the waitresses field a lot of those requests from PL's without bothering us so I'd probably say I'd prefer the PL ask the waitress. I often sit with girls for a long time before spending money, but I'll also occasionally be sitting with a girl who I'm not going to be spending on. Sometimes she's a friend of "my" stripper who is unavailable, or we've "friend zoned" each other and are just shooting the shit. I don't expect other customers to know the situation. Even when I'm with my stripper that I came to see and am spending on, like Subra said, I don't own her. She's free to go elsewhere if she's so inclined. I've got zero interest in getting into a fight in a strip club, so the worst you'd get from me is a smartass comment unless you escalate it from there. But, if you're gonna do it keep a couple things in mind. Plan to spend a decent amount. Even the strippers I'm not spending a nickel on aren't going to be thrilled about being pulled aside for a single dance or even two. If you're gonna bother her plan to compensate her. Also, don't be a whiny or entitled bitch about it. Excuse the interruption, state your intent, and move on. If you can do it with a little humor, that's great. Finally, others have recommended casually walking by or otherwise trying to make eye contact. For the most part I think that's the best approach. Just don't be creepy and stare or stalk. I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting with a girl just shooting the shit after having already done our thing and she's noticed a guy looking at her and gotten creeped out because a show of interest took a turn towards stalker town. Sometimes its after she's said something like "I'm gonna finish my drink and go see that guy over there if that's okay" and in the process of finishing the drink the dude walks by 2-3 times, or stares for 10 minutes straight. Guys do that end and she ends up sitting with me for a few more hours and then some dude posts a rant on here about being ignored.

Just wait until she gets on stage. Then you can offer her a scholarship without having to worry about the guy she was talking to.

-->"Even the strippers I'm not spending a nickel on aren't going to be thrilled about being pulled aside for a single dance or even two." That's the one place we differ, Dolfan. None of "my" girls are going to risk losing me as a regular, by disappearing for 45 minutes. If you've been waiting two hours for her, and you send over the waitress, and she confirms it's ok with me, she'll usually do a couple of dances and then hustle back to me. If she's gone for 45 minutes, I guarantee there will be another girl in her seat when she tries to return

I think it is more of a dick move during dayshift and less so during nightshift. I generally tip enough that my CF will stay with me as long as I want. If someone was to pull that move on me to try and steal her away it wouldn't work. However she would then be distracted and I would feel rushed. So it would hurt my experience.

Don't know where you are, but in S. FL the tip walk is pretty much a sure thing. Wait till she comes by for a tip, tip her well and ask her to come back after her walk. Never had it fail.

@Subra - I don't think we differ, I just think I wasn't clear on what I was describing. I'm talking about a stripper who isn't "my" stripper, but rather just one who is hanging out with me because she's bored. Most likely a friend of my stripper, but maybe one I've just become friendly with. I'm not her regular, so she's got nothing to lose by walking away from me. Maybe I'll buy her a drink or two, or slip her a buck or two if she happens to be on stage when I use the restroom. I'm saying even those girls aren't going to appreciate someone coming over and asking for attention or sending the waitress to do it, if they're only going to sell a dance or two. No way "my" stripper is going to leave for a random dude asking for a dance, or a room. I mean, there's a dollar figure that'll pry her away no doubt, but I'm fairly confident its high enough that if someone was willing to shell it out I'd probably understand and not hold it against her.

I don't approach dancers who are with other guys. I'm glad it worked out for you, but some guys walk into the club and automatically go into an alpha-male gorilla mode. They're hoping for an excuse pound their chest in front of all the scantily-clad ladies. That's not what I call a fun night. Like others mentioned, I'll make eye contact, tip my drink, and give a nod. Beyond that, it's up to her to decide where she wants to spend her time, or up to me to find another dancer.

This always works for me. Make eye contact, and try to keep it for a while, then don't approach anyone else. They always come pretty quick.

Stand close to her where she can see you - take out your wad and start counting it - look at her and smile :)

Have business cards with a dick pic printed up and hand them out, the dick pic gets them every time. ;)