How has your view of strippers changed over time?

Friday, November 27, 2020 7:39 AM

How has your view of strippers changed over time? I've been a regular at strip clubs now for ten years and I don't really view them now the same way I did 10 years ago. I now see them as pretty much interchangeable. When I first started going to clubs I had regulars who I considered special in some way and would be sad when they left. Over the years, though, I've known lots of girls in the clubs pretty well and have never had a situation where a girl ever called me or showed any interest in seeing me again after she quit stripping and was no longer selling me lap dances. Since I'm too old to be a potential stripper boyfriend, I understood from the beginning in the abstract I was just a source of income for them but understanding something in the abstract and actually having personal experiences over and over reminding me of that are not the same thing. They used to go out to dinner with me but I now have no interest, as I did formerly, in the idea of buying one a present or taking her out to dinner. If a regular leaves I'm not sad and just replace her with a new one, knowing after multiple experiences that the new one will be about as good as the old one.

28 comments

"Since I'm too old to be a potential stripper boyfriend" You're never too old to be a potential stripper boyfriend. As much as the stereotype of the slacker dude who smokes and plays video games 24/7 is out there (and yeah there's something to it), it really comes down to whether she relates to you or not. Just like any other woman. If you're viewing them as replaceable fuckstix, they can tell and that doesn't scream "date me". The rest of the post covered the not interested in dating strippers theme, so this is mostly for the lurkers.

wallanon

•

3 years ago

I try not to generalize how I feel about person based on what they do for a living. I have had a long friendship with a sex worker/former sex worker. The friendship has ranged from lovers who saw each other several times a week, went on vacations together to now just texting once in a while. We've known each other almost 20 years now. Just this morning, I had a message on my phone that said "I hope you have a wonderful day". Simple, but it was from a stripper I have met just once last month. Didn't ask for anything or ask when she will see me again in a couple of follow up messages after I thanked her for her message. You do have to shield yourself with 99% of the people you meet in any situation as a true, good friendship develops slowly.

mike710

•

3 years ago

Actually my view toward them has changed. In my 20's. I tried to date them ( with very little success ). In my 30's and 40s, I just treated them like pieces of meat. They were just there for my sexual satisfaction. I didn't put one thought of them in my head after I left that club. Really never wanted to see the same girl twice. Now, I seem to attract relationships. OTC dates that happened again and again. Sugar babies that I see for several months. I really find it odd that now is when young hot 20 somethings want a relationship with me.

Warrior15

•

3 years ago

I like them more and more as time goes by.

doctorevil

•

3 years ago

I have to keep reminding myself that it is still P4P.

shadowcat

•

3 years ago

It is inevitable that one's views on clubs and strippers changes as one simultaneously gains experience and gets older. Early on it was harder for me to separate out their roles as service providers and the reality that they are women. Indeed when I was in my early 30s I briefly dated one (a story I have told). It was only when I came to realize that I could not handle dating a stripper that it became easier to enjoy them solely as service providers. It became even easier once I was married with children. Time also led me to understand how transitory any stripper "relationship" really is. Very few of these girls last more than a few years in the business and that's often spread over several clubs. It's also common for them to drop out and then back in. Now that is not to say that it is ok to treat them as interchangeable widgets or fuck toys. Each girl is a unique human being and deserves to be treated with dignity during the time that we interact. But time and experience has done a lot to provide proper perspective.

rickdugan

•

3 years ago

Its a win win. i treat stippers like a piece of meat and they treat me like an ATM. Everything is consensual and respected both parties boundaries.

Salty.Nutz

•

3 years ago

I've been clubbing for 40ish years, and my views on the strippers have also changed, but unlike the OP, my views *started* with them being mostly interchangeable, and have migrated to seeing most of them as individual human beings, with hopes, dreams and aspirations. I'm completely certain that my relationship with ATF cemented my current views.

georgmicrodong

•

3 years ago

the girls have either gotten dumber over the years, or the access to the current strippers' private lives on social media has allowed us to see how dumb they are. i dated them in my late teens (18 to mid-40s), and the current ones seem much more dumb.

joewebber

•

3 years ago

I use to think they were dumb to but i realized that my $2 does not equal your $2 in a SC. I dont want a dance from all the strippers in the club when im there.

Salty.Nutz

•

3 years ago

I think it would be a pretty weird person whose views didn’t change from the time they were in their 20s to their 40s to their 60s. And that is their views on everything including clubs.

623

•

3 years ago

At first I saw them as damsels in distress, reduced to either stripping or prostitution. Then more as service providers who might like what they do, but for whom you're just a wallet to be picked. Only more recently have I seen a personal connection is possible even if they're after the dollar first and foremost.

Tetradon

•

3 years ago

I thought all the comments were interesting, especially the comment by Warrior15 who has been going to clubs since his twenties. I never went to a club in my twenties or thirties and have always wondered if the girls would have treated me differently than they do now as a middle aged guy. Would they have been more or less friendly, done more or less on the lap dances, or been more or less willing to see me outside the club and even date me as a twenty something? Warrior15 said his youthful efforts to date them were mostly unsuccessful, he saw them as pieces of meat to use sexually in middle age, and in old age there has been another shift to sugar daddy relationships. I think if I had gone in my twenties I would have had limited success with the girls too but might have had better luck with the average girls or the single moms since that was what happened with non-stripper females in my twenties. I don't see many long term relationships ever having developed with a stripper if I had started going at a younger age. I go out various places and never run into a stripper I know so me and them don't have the same interests at all.

docsavage

•

3 years ago

Hey doc, is there a story that's inspiration for the thread?

wallanon

•

3 years ago

@Docsavage. The first time I went to a club was when I was 18 going to school in AZ when the drinking age was 19. They didn't card much if you didn't have a baby face back then. I can't recall what I thought of the girls other than they were unattainable for a college student with no money. Once I had a post-college job, I never went to clubs enough to have money be an issue. I never did see the women as anything other than I would a normal woman though. Sure there are some that will treat you as an ATM and I can treat them as strippers only. I consider every encounter is between two individuals without consideration as to where it's happening now and probably as long as I can remember. I ran into the CEO of my division of a major company once as I walked through the office. I just said "Hi John". We all have our faults and differences regardless of position in life so we are all human. Now I have money to spend and get a lot more opportunities based off of that. But, it's still two individuals reacting to each other at a moment in time. To me, it's the same for any new interaction. I travel and meet different people all the time. Strip clubs are just another opportunity to meet new people to me.

mike710

•

3 years ago

Some really enjoy their job. This is not really about strippers but sex workers in general. I realized some women just like hooking up, having fun and getting paid on top of that.

Beat100

•

3 years ago

Wallanon asked if there was an inspiration for the thread. This was mostly something that accumulated slowly over a long period of time. It was a slow shift from having about a dozen girls I knew over the years pretty well. There were a couple of things recently that got me to think more about it. First with the Covid-19 coming along, there were clubs locking down and even when they were open there were fewer customers. This seemed to have caused a lot of girls I know in their late twenties to finally leave stripping. One girl in particular named Fiona was leaving who I had known the longest. I mentioned I wouldn't see her after she left and she looked angry and said "why not"? I thought she might be the one I might still see. When she actually left, though, she didn't call and would cancel out if I called and we made plans to go somewhere. Either she realized she didn't want to spend time with some old guy former customer or she was planning to drop me all along and was just annoyed I was thinking of dropping her first. I was only going to drop her because I automatically assumed she wouldn't want to see me in the future. So my longest regular was like that in not wanting to see me after her stripping days were over along with the other previous girls. The other thing was the only pet I've ever had, a cat, died recently of old age. I was always protective of him and wouldn't let him outside and was unhappy when he was gone. My sister, on the other hand, has had lots of cats. She lets them run around outside and if they get killed or just run off it's not a big deal to her because she has had so many of them. She kind of sees cats as I've come to see strippers, just something that is around temporarily that is friendly for a little while because you give it something it wants (food for cats, money for strippers) but may leave at any time and can easily be replaced.

docsavage

•

3 years ago

They are not your fucking best friends. They are vindictive and out to clean you out. Anybody who thinks otherwise is prey.

Muddy

•

3 years ago

Doc, don't take it personally. It's pretty rare for these girls to keep contact with customers once they finally decide to move on. I think it's a psychological defense mechanism that helps them put that part of their lives behind them. She might have even thought that she would when you spoke to her about it, but then changed her mind when the reality of her new life sunk in.

rickdugan

•

3 years ago

Doc, are you offering compensation for their time? I just find it odd that an ex-stripper would not want to see customers after she quits if she is getting paid. My CF is getting ready to quit because she’s about to graduate from college. She asked me if we could hang out after she quits. I said sure. After my last favorite stripper quit the club, I continued to see her for a year in a sugar type of relationship. She stopped contacting me to set up “dates” so that was the end of it.

Bavarian

•

3 years ago

===> "I just find it odd that an ex-stripper would not want to see customers after she quits if she is getting paid." Bavarian IME most girls who quit aren't doing so purely for monetary reasons. In many instances it's because of burnout. Other common catalysts include changes in life circumstances, like pregnancy or a relationship turning serious, and desire for more stable income (even if it is lower) and/or more normal schedules. Very few of these issues are helped by continuing to have sex with customers for money, so quite often they cut all ties to their former lives in order to move on to their new ones. Of course plenty eventually return or at least try to, but that's a topic for another thread.

rickdugan

•

3 years ago

The number of strippers with whom I thought I had a "good working relationship" over the years is pretty high, probably high double digits. The number of those strippers who kept contact after quitting for the purpose of having paid sex is maybe a couple of dozen. The number of those that lasted more than a couple of years, I can count on my fingers. Rick has the right of it in this instance, I think. They just want to put the whole thing behind them.

georgmicrodong

•

3 years ago

My view of strippers has changed as I’ve learned more about the girls themselves. When I was younger, strippers seemed like the ultimate party girls. They would drink with my buddies and I, they had great bodies, and they knew how to move/dance! I thought it would be a non stop party - with constant wild sex. I had an unreal view of dancers. As I moved to my late 30’s and early 40’s - it was mostly about getting dancers to fuck me otc. I had a good spot for sex itc - and that was great - but otc was more comfortable - and realistic - sex. It required the right dancer, but it was great. I’ve now found the basic truth. Each dancer is an individual, and some are wild, but some are boring after they leave the club. It’s bizarre how dancers seem like regular civilian folks! The longer strippers are part of the lifestyle, the more of a challenge it can be for them to leave it, and have a normal civilian life. It is possible that customers can also find it difficult to leave and become civilians too.

Cashman1234

•

3 years ago

Use to think they were all tease and no play. Now I know better and I’m glad I do. I don’t really want to get to know them except for sex but I suppose it’s probably going to happen anyway. Hopefully it won’t be like the ex cunt.

prevert

•

3 years ago

Like with anyone I look at them as individuals. But in general I'm more able to pick up on what kind of club it is and what kind of hustle is prevalent.

Icee Loco (asshole)

•

3 years ago

I look at all dancers the same way I always have: A pleasant interlude with a beautiful woman who will be very skilled in making me believe, almost, that I am someone in which she is interested. I know that the minute money changes hands, she will be making someone else feel as I had a few minutes before. I have always been a realist and except for 2 or 3 occasions have never allowed myself to be fooled. The last time I saw dancer outside a club for any reason at all was 1988, except for the ones I run into in Family Courts once in awhile. I like strip clubs so I fantasize about beautiful women liking me; the same way I fantasize about breaking 70 on a golf course, which I will never do unless its 9 holes. I also fantasize about doing 100 foot jump skiing, although I know that anything over 10 feet scares me and my one 30 foot jump was unintentional and based on stupidity, yet I still fantasize.

skibum609

•

3 years ago

My view of strippers has definitely changed over the years. At 20, I could count the bumps on their nipples from across the room. At 40, I needed reading glasses and a closer look for an accurate count. Now, I treat them like braille.

datinman

•

3 years ago

They're invisible, eye-candy, entertainment, or favorites. Back then most were eye-candy and entertainment, now a days the pool's shrunk to focus on faves. NAAAASTY

NAAAASTY

•

3 years ago

Start a Discussion