crossing clubs off your list of strip clubs to visit in the future

I was at a club in NC and was told that I could not touch boobs during a VIP dance. What the hell am I paying for if I can’t touch most of your body for $40 a dance.

No. But it made me a lot more careful when I visited other times. The things that made me not return are mostly to do with staff. I hate it when bartenders rip people off. Things like charging different amounts for the same drink. And especially giving the wrong change when you ask for one's.

I’ve walked into clubs when I’m out of town and immediately realized it was a clip joint. I walked out as soon as I realized what was going on. That was before TUSCL.

Do any of the old timers remember Seven Seas (“Seven Sleaze”) in Tampa ? It closed down circa 2010 but in the early days of TUSCL it was written about as a Tampa go to club almost as much as Mons Venus, Tanga and Odyssey. I only got as far as the parking lot. Never even went in. Too much of dive for my tastes

I recently visited and reviewed a club in Plant City, Showgirls, that had unattractive dancers, poor bar service, and no touching during VIP. Combine all of that with the inconvenience of leaving the interstate to get there and it is permanently off the list. Unless I was actually staying in Plant City, it's just not worth any effort. Anywhere in Orlando. When I go there, all too often, I just don't bother.

About 30 years ago I stopped at a strip club that was on my way home. It turned out to be a biker bar. I was the only person in a suit and tie. I drank down the required beer and got out.

Cops worrying about criminals instead of strip clubs is a good thing. Leading causes of traffic congestion: illiterate immigrants, jackasses from NY and NJ, blue-haired white-knuckle snowbirds, idiot millennials and Zoomers driving while staring at the cell phone. Seems like only Gen X has their shit together, barely. Miami is not listed in any studies of the most violent cities in America. Do your research.

MOTOR - Seven Seas was fun. Looked and felt far worse from the outside than it was in the inside. Many years ago, in between senior year of high school and college I had a summer job moving furniture. A friend was driving that day and I was the helper. We finished up and he suggested beers in the afternoon at a D.C. Strip club, the name of which I now forget. We were the only white people for about a mile around and were drinking beers with two dancers. Two patrons came over looking mad and one slammed both of his hands down on the table and yelled for us to "get the fuck out you white fucks", while the other pulled out a knife. One of the dancers pulled out a knife, slammed it one the table, right through the guys hand, affixing the hand to the table. The other jumped up, reached in her purse and the guy with the knife backed off. We ran, fast, really fast.

I had to give up on the old flashdance in west palm after numerous disappointing visits. Very few girls, and none of them were attractive. It was depressing because that was my favorite place for a couple years.

@Specialj Do you remember the Spermaid on Congress in WPB, that dump was even worse, or Morey's on Federal in Boynton, another dump that was a one and done.

Back in my young days, I had a few hours between flights in SF. A buddy suggested that we go to a strip club for a few beers. It sounded like fun, so we hop in a cab and the guy drops us off in front of a dumpy looking club. We go in - pay the cover - and we sit in a few chairs by a tiny stage. The dancer gets up on stage - and she has a fresh scar running down her entire leg - and she’s a mess - and she is totally drugged up. As we sit there watching - a couple of black guys come up and stand behind us - and stare at us. One was the dancer’s manager who wanted to let us know that she’s available for private parties. I think the other guy was his driver and his security. We weren’t looking for that sort of entertainment back then, so we declined, finished our beers and walked across the street to a civilian bar to relax. That was a very odd experience, and even though it’s very limited, it sort of soured me on the SF clubs for a bit. I’ve never been back to SF, so I don’t know how the club scene is.

In Providence, there used to be a club called Sportsman's Inn (it's now a high-end hotel...lol). I went there with a couple of buddies exactly one time and I just felt sad the entire time I was there. It's one of the very few clubs where the average dancer rating was 3 or under. It was essentially in a dank basement with a stage, a pool table, and bar. At some point, one of my buddies said, "So, let's just finish our beers and go." To which I replied, "Let's not finish our beers." I walked out and they followed. We then went to Foxy Lady and had a great time.

I could name several clubs that I would never visit again, for a variety of reasons. The list includes some egregious clip joint tourist traps, a few black clubs where I was the focus of way too much negative attention, a couple of ratchet shitholes and a smattering of other places that rubbed me the wrong way for one reason or another. One that really stands out though is the former Hillside Inn in Milwaukee WI. It's long gone now and good riddance. Not only was it a broken down shithole, including exposed hanging lightbulbs no less, but there must have been a 250 lb minimum weight limit to dance there - those girls were obese. The icing on that whole "what the fuck an I doing here?" shitcake was the swill that they were serving me for liquor out of a Jack bottle that clearly didn't contain Jack. This is arguably the worst strip club I ever visited. It had no redeeming qualities whatsoever.