One time Rick wanted me to take a look at something on his balls. I told him I was a Dentist not a Doctor. But he insisted and I took the Hippocratic Oath, so I looked at his junk.
I will tell you if you haven't seen an old, wrinkly nutsack hammered with herpes and ghonorriah, it looks like the Eye of Mordor dipped in speghetti sauce.
I told him to get that shit checked with a real doctor ASAP, then proceeded to find the nearest eye bleach.
Last time Rick & I went out drinking, he told me of this time he couldn't find any dancers to do extras, but outside there was a bum digging trash out of the dumpster that would.
A few days later, he was banging his wife when she stuck a finger up his ass and worms came out.
He asked if I thought it was the bum or the dumpster? I said, there was no way of me knowing, but this is the last time I ordered speghetti around you.
When Rick was stuck at home with a torn ACL from a badminton injury, he couldn't get out to the clubs. So, he paid his maid $50 for extras.
Ever since she's been banging him for $50. But, now she's charing $150 an hour to clean the house.
lampbreaker, check these resources then come back with your better-informed conclusions.
"STI/STD/HIV-AIDS RESOURCES
• The American Sexual Health Association is a trusted source of reliable information on sexual health and sexually transmitted diseases/infections.
[view link]
• Med-Help Doctors’ Forums
[view link]
All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD. both of whom not only actively treat STIs / HIV AIDS but are epidemiologists = a branch of medical science that deals with the incidence, distribution, and control of disease in a population. Therefore, both are well versed in not only CAN you acquire an STI/HIV by certain sex practices but also HOW LIKELY you are to get it, i.e., the RISK [ e.g., low, high, 1 in 50, once in a 1000 ] for this particular form of sexual activity.
H. Hunter Handsfield,MD is also the author of the Color Atlas & Synopsis of Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Third Edition, 2011. He is Clinical Professor of Medicine at the University of Washington Center for AIDS and STD.
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Recent example from STD forum:
Q. “Hello Dr's,
I posted this question to the free forum
On August 20th I was in Vegas for a bachelor party. My friend and I hired an escort to come back to our room. Both of us gave her unprotected oral sex and she gave both of us unprotected oral sex. Afterwards we had protected sex. After we were done I notice some blood on the towel we used to clean up with, unfortunately I cannot remember when the blood appeared since we used it a couple of times throughout the night. I know there is a risk for all STD's in this situation but I am absolutely freaking out! Google is not my friend in this situation! So my question is what are my risks in general, when is the earliest I can start to get tested? Thank you for any help you can offer “
A. by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.
This was a low risk event from the standpoint of all STDs. First, since your escort partner uses condoms, it is relatively unlikely she has any active STD. Second, oral sex is quite safe -- not entirely risk free, but with much lower rates of STD transmission than unprotected vaginal or anal sex: no measurable risk of some STDs (HIV, chlamydia, HSV-2) and low risk for others (gonorrhea, nongonococcal urethritis [NGU], HSV-1, syphilis). Third, all STDs are transmitted inefficiently -- i.e. when one partner is infected, during most exposures the infection is not transmitted. Finally, blood on the outside of a condom, on the skin, and even in the mouth does not appreciably elevate the risk.
Based on the overall low risk, I would have recommended against any need for any testing at all. But since you have started: The urine tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia are reliable any time more than 2-3 days after exposure. Syphilis and HSV blood tests require 6 and 12 weeks, respectively -- so if you really feel you need such testing despite virtual absence of risk, you'll need to repeat them at those times. But I really see no need.
I would have definitely recommended against an "early detection" HIV test, which most likely was a PCR test for HIV DNA/RNA. It's expensive and the chance of HIV in this setting was truly zero or very close to it. If you felt you needed the reassurance, having a standard HIV antibody test at 6-8 weeks, or a "duo" test (HIV antibody plus p24 antigen) at 4 weeks would be preferable. That said, a negative PCR test at this time (10-14 days after exposure) will be around 90-95% reliable. You'll still need one of the other tests in a few weeks if you need the security of a !00% reliable negative result.
In any case, stay mellow as you await results and/or the time for additional testing. If I ever found myself in such a circumstance, I would not be tested for anything and would continue unprotected sex with my wife without fear of infecting her with anything.
I hope this has helped. Best wishes-- HHH, MDâ€
Apologies to other members who've already seen this post before.
Its always in the back of my mind, but when things get going its awful hard to rationalize why I should stop. Its usually after the fact that I regret it and swear to never do it again........til next week.
I've explained this before, but I'll do it one more time. so ay attention! Strippers only have paid sex with RICH STUDs, and, as is well known, RICH STUDs cannot get STDs. Now no further precautions are really necessary, but just to be extraly doubly safe because it can't hurt they will throw in the further measure of asking "are you clean"? So between those two things you have a better chance of winning the lottery in back to back weeks then getting an STD from a stripper. Providing you are a RICH STUD. Like me. The RickyBoyDugan.
You never have to worry about getting stds if you only talk about how many girls you had sex with on here.
Plus there are condoms and the fact that many of us long term posters are immune to stds due to our super powers.
If there is any danger than we won't touch her even with someone else's dick. Our spidey sense super power of detecting stripper std's goes off to protect us. Hopefully the rest of the group here won't be too upset because I didn't reveal how e got all of our sexual super powers. We all have secrets.
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