The REAL issues with gender and pronouns

Wednesday, May 12, 2021 8:44 PM
Once you grumpy old apes get tired of whining about some B-list celebrity being catty with some F-list celebrity that uses alternative pronouns [view link] Imma educate you about REAL gender issues. What you damn dirty apes don’t realize is that sex is highly bimodal whereas gender is a societal expression. For example, with the exception of some oddball genetic conditions mammals with X and Y chromosomes are male and those with two X chromosomes are female. Largely the same with my bud the vulture and his compatriots, but switch from X and Y to Z and W and recognize that two Z’s make the male. Gender, on the other hand, is much more continuous. For example, most of you damn dirty apes are XY and therefore male, but in terms of your masculinity you’re maybe a 4 or 5 out of 10 (those lower than 4 on the masculinity scale will remain nameless to avoid embarrassment). But here is the issue. We ricks are way more than a 10 on the masculinity scale. Hell, we’re more than frickin’ 11 on that scale. Minimum masculinity for a rick is like 20 on a scale of 1 to 10. So, are he/him/his pronouns appropriate for a rick. I’ve submitted several alternative ideas to the language subcommittee of the high council of ricks. My favorite ideas are: 1. Forgo pronouns entirely in favor of “MR. RICK” 2. The rickerific pronounce “rick/rick/ricks” 3. Using “he/him/his” but capitalizing and adding exclamation points. I favor the third. For example, if you we speaking about me you might say “HE!!!! is the most amazing felid on the planet. I bet the wildebeest feel honored to become his dinner.” If you were speaking about the dugan you might say “I should ask rickdugan because I respect HIM!!!! so very much.” If you were speaking about something owned by my vulture bud you would say “Normally I wouldn’t wear a suit worn by a vulture but rickthevulture is so amazingly amazing that I’d be honored to wear HIS!!!! suit.” Any or you damn dirty apes got a problem with that? I didn’t think so. ROAR!!!

3 comments

What about if we call you furball? That’s gender neutral right?!?!? I like Mr Meow but that’s masculine. Furry Nuts wouldn’t work either...
shailynn
3 years ago
I actually go by “Mr. Meow” when I’m indulging my house cat fetish. Sometimes a rick just gotta have his sandbox cleaned by a sexy female hairless ape with a slotted spoon. But you misunderstand the broader purpose of this post shailynn ape. We ricks don’t want gender neutral pronouns. The issue is that we ricks are so amazingly manly that standard masculine pronouns are insufficient. I mean really, would you refer to the surface temperature of a blazing blue supergiant as “hot”? Those bad boys can have a temperature of 50,000 degrees. That’s way more than frickin’ hot. Well...we ricks are the type O blue supergiants of manliness. ROAR!!!
rickthelion
3 years ago
Yet I always thought of y’all, as a bunch of it’s!
twentyfive
3 years ago
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