Curb Kicked by the Mexican Military

The term “Curb Kicked” comes from my days as a Private Investigator decades ago. (One of the most boring jobs I have ever had.) We would be on a “sit” (watching a person of interest) when the SOs would roll up on us and give us grief, most of the time just because they could ruin our day. Sometimes it was because we were sitting on one of their own. These were usually Workmans’ Comp cases, where the subject was committing some kind of fraud on the State, faking an injury that they claim kept them from working. We would film them doing things that their claims would indicate that they were unable to do. One example was a probation officer who claimed to have injured his knee badly enough that he was house bound and claimed disability. We filmed him going fishing, which included his trailering his small boat, launching the boat, and loading his gear without limits. He came to court on crutches, where we showed the films. (Don’t misunderstand. I have great respect for USA police officers overall, but there are typically a few corrupt individuals in every organization. We were actually hired by the State to investigate these fraud cases.) Anyway, an HK ATF and I had finished dinner in the Zona and we were looking for a ride back to my downtown hotel. (Couldn’t take her to a Zona hotel, because of their bar fines for having an HK puta in Cascadas/Rizo room. The other hotels in the Zona are shit holes; I prefer a nice room with appointments.) As it happed, a mesero that I have always liked, Ruben, rolled up on us and called out. He had quite being a mesero after eight years in the clubs, because he was so tired of the BS that has developed in the HK/BT clubs. Too bad, because he always picked outstanding girls for me. So he became an Uber driver. Great to see him again and we got in his car for the ride to the hotel. We went a few blocks and he was about to turn, when he spotted a police “check point,” aka a robbery point sponsored by corrupt police. He aborted the turn and we went over the rise, and smack into another checkpoint run by the Mexican military, were Ruben was directed to pull over. He explained the situation, that he has a fare and was taking us to our hotel. Further, he pointed out that I do not speak fluent Spanish. Before we got out of the car, my ATF told me several times to tell them that “you have no money.” We got out and the people with the big, automatic rifles called someone forward who has reasonable skill with the English language. He asked if it was OK to search me, like it was a question that might have had any answer other than “yes.” He directed me to raise my arms and he proceeded to go through my pockets, repeating that “I am not taking any of your money.” Two problems. One that I could not deny that I had money, because he didn’t ask before searching, he just started going into my pockets. In addition, I did not want to be caught in a lie and raise his suspicions or give him cause to get nasty. Two, since it is not smart to flash a lot of money, I had my cash distributed in different pockets. Others have advised if stopped, take your cash and wallet out of your pockets and hold it in your hand, so the “authorities” cannot pick your pockets. I couldn’t do that, because I wasn’t given the chance; he just started digging in my pockets repeating “I am not taking your money.” When he took his hands out of my pockets, I checked and it was the truth, he didn’t take any money from me. I looked over and there was a female military going through the purse of my ATF. I assume that she had been frisked (which wouldn’t have taken much, because she was wearing a short dress and she wasn’t wearing any bra or panties). I knew that she had almost zero cash, so there would be no loss for her. They might have taken her cell phone, but didn’t. The female military person pulled out a small canister of pepper spray that I had given her. (My ATF also carries brass knuckles and a knife. She has been attacked a few times, so she is well prepared to defend herself as necessary.) He checked my wallet, which is actually fake, as it contains a bunch of old credit cards with my name and account information cut out of them. The logic being if confronted by a ratero, I could throw them the wallet and run. By the time they figured out that the wallet doesn’t contain anything of value, I would be 100+ meters away. (I learned this trick from a professional armed robber.) I didn’t see them search Ruben, but I assume they did. And I doubt that he had much of value on him. We were allowed to return to the car and proceed on our way. As we traveled, we saw other check points manned by the local police. My ATF said that we were very lucky, because if we had been stopped by the police, they would have taken everything. I did start the evening with about $300. The rest of my funds were in the hotel safe, as has been advised many times in the forums. I was down to about $140, after paying a doctor bill and prescriptions for my ATF, and for our dinner. The biggest risk was if they had taken my cell phone. It is insured, but I didn’t want to go home and tell friends and family that I got robbed, because they would freak out every time I mentioned going south. This is the first time I have experienced a stop like this in the six-plus years I have been going to the Zona. Basically, all of the streets going away from the Zona had some kind of checkpoint, so there was no way to completely avoid them. I don’t know what they were looking for. Clearly we were not cartel, which was responsible for the violence that occurred a few weeks ago. I am glad that I took the advice to carry only as much money as you might need for the time that you are out-and-about. I didn’t lose anything, but clearly it is a risk.