Well, this rick put his foot in his mouth one fine Ash Wednesday. I saw some female hairless ape with ashes on her forehead and say “hey sexy ape, you’ve got nice boobs but you’ve also got a lil schmutz on your forehead.”
Damn dirty ape laid into me talkin’ some shit about her religion and all I can say is that I got so bored that I left. But it all worked out because I ran over some Mormon missionaries on the way home. ROAR!!!
I went briefly, but no ashes. I also saw no ashes in the club on customers or dancers. I did see a very nice tattoo of a fleur de lis in between a beautiful set of breasts.
As a kid the church by our house would open real early so people could go get their ashes before work. My mother would instruct me to walk over to the church for ashes and then go to school. Yeah right, like I was gonna walk around all day like that. I'd cheerfully agree and then go straight to school. After school I'd go to any of the ash trays all around our house and decorate my own head while waiting for the parents to get home from work.
I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school until jr high*. Everyone had the ashy foreheads on Ash Wednesday. Nobody cares.
*I could not get out of Catholic school fast enough with the uniforms, strict nuns teaching, and going to church Mon,Wed, Fri - not counting Sunday with the family.
Real nuns scare the crap out of me!
Girls dressed as hot nuns get me very aroused.
Yes, it was a requirement back in the old days - to get your ashes and begin 40 days of denying yourself of something enjoyable. I tried to give up porn and jerking off several Lents - and it was a total failure. I set the bar too high!
I used to joke with my mother every year at lent and say I was gonna give up cabbage or broccoli or something. Of course that didn't fly, so it would always end up being candy, which meant I could only have candy when she wasn't around. Real bummer.
Also she did this thing where we couldn't have meat on Friday. Seriously? Even if you believe in that stuff, what kind of "sacrifice" is that? It's like saying you won't watch your favorite TV show, but you record it and watch it the next day. Regardless, I would make sure I went and got a Big Mac or stopped by the local store for some lunch meat every Friday, just for spite.
I stopped getting ashes on my forehead many years ago when I found out Ash Wedsnesrsy was not one of the required days to attend days. Now I believe many non Catholics like to get ashes on that dsy. They go to work and all around with ashes on their head. Everyone is welcome to do as they please.
Today’s church service I heard today was about temptation. I believe it. I was thinking about giving up buying pizza huying this buying that etc for lent. Then I went to the grocery store hungry 2 days later. I bought all the normal stuff. I did give up eating at Twin Peaks tonight. But I ate at Hooters. NowI might be tempted to eat at Twin Peaks on aless busy day. Devil is tempting me. Too many traffic out tonight. Thought there might be a recession some time ago. Still waiting on that.
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