So whats the latest on SJG? Has not using TUSCL for almost a year broken him or is he quickly working his way up the ladder at the local library.
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Covid has taken millions of lives all over the world, destroyed the American Economy, shut down strip clubs and host of other industries all over the U.S. and put millions out of work but then again it took SJG off of TUSCL. Was it all worth it?
Ehhhhh maybe, just maybe.
Shailynn - be careful! Juice will be burning a hole in the stripper photos section - his mouth watering - and his gym shorts around his ankles - both hands slathered in BBQ sauce!
nicespice: "The testosterone lifeboat forum is posted on SJG’s profile" SJG openly advertised his [then] new site here on many forum posts.
Of all his posts there the following are the most revealing because they are the most openly personal. [Remember how adamantly SJG refused to reveal some personal info here. Blustering about separating his private, personal life from his 'online self'. "Privacy walls...firewalls, etc."]
Here his usual paranoid defenses broke down [briefly] and he shows us his underlying anxious, fearful person:
"Apr 3, 2020 at 4:54pm by Admin
This shelter in place order hit me like a sledge hammer.
How first of all, ***I never take questions about my affairs. I rarely even offer much. But what has just happened forced some changes, so the post is past.***
1. My public office is gone.
2. My residence is screwed up and will change.
My public office was a retail operation I was a principle in. We got shut down by the shelter in place order.
My residence was communal. Not good during this kind of an order.
So I was offered a chance to hide out in the mountains, in a shack, no electricity, telephone, or internet.
But as a that time I though I had COVID-19, I took it, and I slept for over a week. Two weeks there total.
Today, I am not sure about COVID-19, but it does not matter.
I let people make an in kind buy out of my share in the retail op. They need to marshal their resources to make it pull through.
So I will have a new office and a new living space soon. Now I am in a trasitional space, another associate, the people who will make up my organization.
Never wanted to live like a bourgeois. Especially not after my divorce. Still inspired by the super cute black girl I was making out with at New Century.
So lots are changing, and for the better. I am not alone, I have partners, colleagues, comrades, something I never had while married.
[...]
Apr 14, 2020 at 5:26pm sjgliveson on Apr 14, 2020 at 5:26pm
[...]
Manic thinking, it happens some times. Like try to think about X1, but thoughts get invaded by X2, X3, ... Xn.
I think what is happening is that one's world view is changing, and so one needs to re-evaluate all kinds of past experiences and plans. I see this as positive.
Most extreme time was when I graduated from college, last final exam. Supposedly studied all night, but I was unable to sleep or study. All just thinking.
I had always wrote HP Calculator programs to do the math. So I sat down for the 3 hour exam. Had it all done in about 20 minutes. Went around the programs and checked my work by pressing the buttons manually. Looked it all over again. Nothing to do. 40 min past, turned it in. Aced it and got an A for the entire class.
BUt the real question was, what was I to do with my life next, and this was what all the manic thinking was about. Everything changed.
This corona shelter order, destroyed my living and working set up. New arrangements set, but can't really implement until things go back to normal.
SJG"
His remaining testosterone posts show the sealing over of this breakdown and rebuilding of his pre-pandemic personality functioning. Lots of intellectualization, sticking mostly with technical stuff.
So I wonder what his retail business was? Did he share a hot dog cart with other people and they took turns working it?
Did he live in the attic of a YMCA but had to move?
The one thing that always made me wonder is why he never went to Tijuana when he lived so close. Like if I lived only 2 hours from Follies and wanted to go, I’d find a way. Maybe he didn’t have a passport or he was wanted for something and was afraid a red flag would be set off when he would come back into the USA. Or, maybe his mon just won’t let him cross the street.
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