June 16, 2010 •
I'm a novice when it comes to strip clubs. Went to my first SC last month and met a cute Russian stripper. She's 23 and we had great chemistry and have a lot in common (I'll take what she says with a grain of salt). Sorry I'm just not that trusting and feel that a lot of the girls in there are just telling guys what they want to hear). Maybe only spent $60 the entire night and the includes the dances I got and the drinks I consumed. She hung out with me all night and complimented me numerous times about my appearance and numerous other things (again, taken with a grain of salt). I am however confident in my appearance (25 years old and workout 5 days a week) and myself in general. She put my hands on every inch of her body (the SC I was at allowed no contact). At the end of the night she gave me her number and told me she want's to hang out next time I'm in town and that's she's extremely attracted to me. Took her number and didn't think anything of it.
This past weekend I was in town again and decided to go over to the SC since I had a rough week at work. Never ended up calling her after getting her number last time I was in. Walked in the door and sat down at the bar. After being there for maybe 5 minutes I felt someone hug me from behind and it was her. Suprisingly she remembered my name and everything about me. That made me happy considering I had a great time with her last time and hoped if I ran into her again she would remember me. She told me how excited she was to see me but she was sad that I never called her. Anyways, another thing she mentioned was that I didn't need to spend money to hang out with her and invited me to her house this upcoming weekend.
I'm new to the whole SC experience and don't really know what to expect. I'm pretty good at reading women in normal settings but I'm new to the whole SC game. She seems really into me but I'm worried that she's just playing with me and looking for money. Can someone with more experience with the whole SC scene give me some advice?
June 16, 2010
• If you are 25 years old and work out 5 days a week then maybe she really is attracted to you...but again don't take it too serious because they are head cases and move around a lot.
I would not mind going to her house, but don't let her come to your house...too risky.
Reminds me of this mexican dancer I met who really wanted me and turns out she needed me to marry her so she could get her papers. No thanks....
June 16, 2010 • Proceed with caution. A SC is not a dating service. Each stripper has her own way of building regulars, getting money and keeping customers wanting more than they can have. Do you feel safe going to her place? Is there some thug boyfriend waiting to rob you at her apartment? Such things do happen. What happens when you get there and are about to get in the rack and she decides she wants money? Sometimes the ploy is not so crass. You just find yourself taking her shopping--a lot--for clothes and groceries. You must be prepared to pay. That's what this is all about. Protect your wallet, your wad and your heart. And yet, it could be a lot of fun, even with precautions.
June 16, 2010 • Assume she is lying.
June 16, 2010
• I'm going to have to agree with what you all of have said so far. I'm worried that if I show up I'm going to to get robbed or jumped and I'm definitely not interested in being someone's personnel walking talking ATM machine. Just thought she might be into me and not my wallet (not that I even spent much on her).
Sorta lonely, just got out of a 4 year relationship...
June 16, 2010
• Hey as long as you are not spending money on her, I would continue to play along but don't be surprised if she starts pushing you to spend a little bit more and more...
I have had dancers sit with me entire shifts sometimes without spending any money on them...other days I will just get a quick "wanna dance?" line and they move on.
Sometimes they are slow, tired, and lonely and just want to make friends...other days they are wanting to make big money.
If you go to the club on a Saturday or Friday night when it is busy and she still is willing to sit with you and not chase after the easy money, then yes maybe she is into you. But if you have been going on a tuesday or something...maybe it is just slow for her or a day she does not feel like hustling.
June 16, 2010
• at 1st i figured she was just playing you and maybe she still is, but as i read on it sounds like she might really like you.
have you seen her interact with other customers in the club?
do keep in mind that her job is to tease guys to seperate them from their money but i say go for it, just be careful.
June 16, 2010
• Normal girls don't usually rent themselves for cash to the next guy that walks through the door. Strippers do that - it's their business. It's possible to find a stripper who hasn't been at it long enough to become totally indoctrinated, and they can actually seem like normal girls.
Go over to her house. Maybe she has a boyfriend there who will beat you up and rob you or worse. Probably not going to happen. Perhaps she lives with another girl who is also her sexual partner, and they want to have a threesome with you. Not likely, but I actually had that happen, so it is possible. Chances are greater that she'll want to get high or have a few drinks or both and then have pretty damn good sex with you. If that happens, she may also hint that she is a little short on rent money this month...complicated excuse on the 15th.
Dancers can be lonely - just like we all are sometimes. She might really just want to hang with you some. It never hurts to spend a little time chatting with her so you have an opportunity to pick up on inconsistencies or other warnings that this could be a problematic rendezvous.
Good luck with it, and (most important) let us voyeurs know how things went!!
June 16, 2010
• She so far has not been pushy at all about dances. Last time I was in I maybe paid for 3 dances from her but ended up getting around 7.
I watched her interact with a few other dudes the last time I was in (my 2nd time in a SC, it was a Fri night). She approached them, talked to them for like 3 minutes tops, then took them for dances. Each time she was done she came back and hung out with me for 45 minutes to an hour, again not pushing for any dances.
Just sort of stand-offish considering like "troop" said, it is there job to tease guys and separate them from their money. She is however very direct about wanting to hang out outside of the club. She wanted to go out for breakfast last time I was in but I declined considering I'm still worried about alterer motives or the possibility of being setup for robber. Maybe I'm just over thinking this but like I said I'm new to the SC scene.
June 16, 2010
• I think you're over reacting to the breakfast offer.
Asking her to a lunch date. Tell her you'll be in town but only have from noon to 2 open. Buy her lunch and see what happens. She will be away from the club so there won't be that distraction. There will be no expectation other than eating.
You'll be on neutral ground with a clean slate.
June 16, 2010
• well recently i had a very attractive dancer (can't call her a stripper because she danced in a bikini club) that seemed to really like me. she had just started dancing and only danced 1 night a week and i happened to catch her on her 1st night and every other night she danced. she only worked 3 mondays and then quit.
anyway.. she came on pretty strong to me, compliments etc. i mentioned that the attention was nice but i knew she was playing me. she gave me her full name, phone number, address, everything. she gave me several free dances and we drastically bent the law and club rules, french kissing, titty exposure and fondling, pussy flashing and even some pussy licking and most of the times she didn't even want my money.
well i finally decided to call her. she had already previously told me that she was working 2 regular jobs besides the dancing job, and we spoke on the phone for awhile. she mentioned that she was busy with her 2 jobs and her young son, i pretty much already knew that. so i gave her my phone number and told her to call me sometime if she wanted to talk or get together. it's been a couple weeks, i haven't heard from her but i'm not surprised. i did enjoy my club time with her and if she calls.. great but i'm not going to chase after her.
hope you have better luck than i did.
June 16, 2010
• If you're 25 and just went to your first strip club, you've kinda led a sheltered life so far, right?
So Joel, er, I mean saberclaw, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.
June 16, 2010
• When you say "I'll be in town" do you mean that you are from out of town, and are visiting on business or something, or that you live just outside the city, and are there for the evening?
I find myself agreeing with those who suggest you might be overthinking this. I personally wouldn't go to her place, for reasons you can find addressed all over these boards, but breakfast after the club visit, at a well lit restaurant in a decent part of town, or a lunch or dinner date, is probably going to be relatively safe. If it seems promising, ask her back to your hotel and see what happens.
Don't forget, if you look the part, she might really be fishing for a boyfriend/sugar daddy kind of thing, as opposed to a fuck buddy. You have to decide if thats acceptable.
June 16, 2010 • saberclaw, I don't know what to add. You have been given a lot of good advice. Just take it slow. I carry phone numbers for 4 strippers(even one's husbands number) but I have known them a long time. When a stripper new to me gives me a number or email address, I toss them on my way out of the club.
June 16, 2010
• A key question to answer: do you normally attract/date this same "quality" (looks-wise) of girl outside the SC environment? If yes, then it's very possible she is genuinely interested, esp. given your age. If no, then she's probably working you.
However, since she has repeatedly brought up hanging out OTC and not for money, you should take her up on it....but not at her house. Meet her out for a drink like you would any other girl. Strippers love to talk about how they would never date a customer, it's all business, etc, etc, but then almost every one of them will also admit to having done it at one time or another (see stripperweb). You haven't spent enough money on her for her to think you're a cash-cow, and given your age I doubt she would expect you to be one anyway. I'd go for it if I were you, but keep your senses on alert...and DEFINITELY do not become emotionally attached.
June 16, 2010
- Haven't lived a sheltered life by any means. I've been in numerous long-term relationships, but for the first time in my life, since 16, find myself single and intrigued by SC's. Hence the reason I decided to check out a SC. Just been sort of lonely lately and was looking for something different then the bar scene. :)
- I live GA and the club I went to was in FL. I come through FL once a month, give or take a few weeks, for business. I guess I just over thought the breakfast invite. Not sure what I was really thinking, going to public place with her shouldn't be a problem. Was just a bit paranoid I suppose. Next time I go in to the club (maybe in like 3 or 4 weeks) if she invites me out to Breakfast again I'll take her up on her offer and see where it goes from there. If things go well I'll invite her back to my room and take it from there. Wouldn't mind having a fuck buddy in FL.
- The typical girls I attract and hook up with tend to be quite attractive (range between 7's - 10's in my opinion). Yea the comment about not needing to spend money to hang out with her and the whole out of the club talk sort of threw me for a loop. Wasn't aware that people met with dancers outside of the club. But I'll take her up on her offer next time I'm in town and take it from there. You hit the nail on the head with the whole not dating customers comment. She said something to that effect but told me she was interested in getting to know me outside the club. Also, I definitely don't give off a Cash-cow vibe and I think she realizes that. I haven't spent much on her, don't wear anything really flashy, and was even honest with her when asked about my career (told her I've only been out of college for a year and employed for six months, all of which is true).
Thanks everyone for the solid advice. I'll keep everyone updated as things progress.
June 16, 2010
• sabreclaw, I'd be tempted to call her a day or to before I went, to find out if she still wants to do lunch or something.
Lunch is generally considered innocuous enough.
June 16, 2010 • Lunch is a great idea. Middle of the day. Plenty of light. She what she really looks like. Get a conversation going. Find out what she's about. You'll know whether to pursue it within about 30 minute.
June 17, 2010 • Hey Sabreclaw what part of GA do you stay in?, I am from Georia. I also want to ask what part of Florida is this strip club in?
June 17, 2010 • Nothing is ever free with a stripper.
June 17, 2010 • I haven't been afraid of visiting dancers at their places. If I get a bad vibe about something though, I'm out of there. A number of dancers want to get paid for doing things or for their time. Some dancers don't ask until they're ready to get rid of you and then they come up with a hard luck story and ask for a small loan. As far as encounters with new dancers away from the club, if you don't agree to pay them anything, I don't think you should pay them anything if they didn't say anything about it. They may not like that though so you may experience drama.
June 17, 2010 • I exchanged numbers with one dancer not that long ago. She called me later in the week like she said she was going to. However she called me late (I was still up since I usually am.) She wanted me to go visit her at the club that night. It was an hour away and I had to go to work in the morning. Strippers can have unrealistic expectations. Never did see her again or get another call so I assume she left the area. Strippers come and go all the time often times not staying in any one location for that long.
June 17, 2010
• This is no differfent than anything else--i.e., proceed with caution. Start with a lunch or dinner somewhere. You offer to meet her or maybe pick her up, not go inside her house. Socialize, have fun, get to know each other more. Find out what this is all about:
--seeking a real relationship
--sex for money
--or just stripper shit.
You really can't make importrant decisions until ytou learn more. If you'r curious, interested and like the excitement, check it out. But use cautioon and common senswe. If she was expicitly selling sex, she would have let you know already. So she has another agenda, you need to find out what it is. If you spend more time with a dancer in a club you can usually figure out if you want to spend more time with her elsewhere by the way she handles herself and how you relate.
I've exchanged numbers with several dancers, but only afdter I've understood more about them. I've also given out my number too early and regretted it.
June 17, 2010
• I think there's around a 50% chance she is legitimately interested in hanging out with you for no other reason than she finds you attractive and enjoys your company. As for the other 50%, my gut tells me this: she's looking for a way to quit her job and thinks you're it. However, that might not be as devious as it sounds. She could be looking for a legitimate boyfriend and relationship that will let her leave her life as a dancer and live happily ever after, and she sees you as great boyfriend material. However, she could also just want a sort of sugar daddy relationship, but since you weren't throwing around a lot of cash, I think this is much less likely.
Either way man, I say go for it, it sounds like it will be an exciting adventure into the strip club world.
And just remember, you owe us details as compensation for our advice. As well as invitations to the wedding and bachelor party if you two get hitched.
June 17, 2010
• And pictures! :)
Why yes, I *am* a creepy old pervert, thank you for asking...
June 17, 2010
• I'm reading this and thinking if this the dating advice column. I'm somewhat surprised with all the effort going into trying to find out the stripper's motivation without asking her. I'm reading alot of strategy within the advice and maybe there should be less advice coming from us and more saberclaw asking the stripper what the deal is.
I'm not saying the advice sucks, but I am saying there's a whole lot of strategy to find out something he could and probably should be asking to her directly.
Ask her whatever the hell you wanna to find out and yes strippers lie alot, so turn on the bullshit detector. Now there's some advice!
June 18, 2010
• I don't know how to add to what's been said here, but I will throw this out to you:
take the shot,dude!
you've got her number, you said, so call her a little ahead of the next time you're going to be in her area and see if the two of you can work out some way to meet outside the club that both of you are comfortable with. lunch, breakfast, dinner, drinks, whatever, just *do* it. odds are you'll have a pretty good feel for what she's got going on in a very short time after you meet her. how you decide to to react is up to you, but don't let paranoia get in the way of what might end up being some excellent sex.
June 18, 2010 • Now see, this thread is interesting. Even if it's totally made up, and who ever really knows, it's something that drew more direct answers than rehashed glory stories. I was going to type something but gator et al. pretty much covered my off the cuff thoughts on it.
June 21, 2010 • What would you do if you were in a bar and an attractive woman gave you her number? One difference is that people who work in commmisioned sales jobs (stripper, car sales, etc.) generally are manipulative and don't seem good at not being manipulative in their personal relationship. So watch out for lies and head games. And any foreign woman who chases you may be after a green card.
June 21, 2010 • Just go out with her and see if she fucks you without asking you for money. The modern stripper is willing to hook up with customers she legitimately likes and who does not put out the "potential PL/RIL that I can milk for big bucks" vibe. You can't be 100% certain before you go out with here, unless you have such good intuition about women that you won't need to ask here, but there really is not much to lose here. If she does ask you for money, say no, and see if she still fucks you. If not you got played to a small degree, but it's really no big loss.
June 21, 2010
Got a call from her yesterday. Basically called me up to tell me she was thinking about me and missed me. This was the first time I ever talked to her on the phone but again, like I've said previously, our conversation was always good so talking to her on the phone was not awkward by any means. She asked me when I was coming into town again (should be in the next 3 weeks) and asked me if I wanted to go to the beach. I figure going to the beach is a good middle ground to feel her out and see what she's like outside of the club. Plus, I used to surf a lot (something she wants to try) so this coincides with my interests.
This should be a lot of fun, she seems like a cool chick to hang out with. I'll keep everyone updated and also try to snap some pics for the pervs :P
June 21, 2010 • ^^^haha thanks, I look forward to seeing those pics...
June 21, 2010 • Let us know how it goes feeling her up, er, out.
June 21, 2010
Why not both?
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